Arranged Marriage Essentials Tips to Find Love
One of my friends sent his son to me who seeked some advice before his wedding day. When I talked with him I realized he was not aware of the institution of marriage. Arranged Marriage: What I have observed during all these years is that boys really do not know many things about this union of two adults and this can cause further issues building a relationship.
Here in India we find that the marriages are mostly arranged ones, a match is found either through an acquaintance or through matrimonial sites. A boy or a girl will register his/her name on a matrimonial site of his/her choice with all the relevant details and seek a match. When both parties are a suitable match, they exchange horoscopes and if they are compatible there are subsequent discussions that take place and finally, after the grand wedding the girl enters the boy’s house.
The most delicate part starts here as the boy is not aware of women’s issues nor does he understand the psychology of women. I believe that every man must study women’s issues especially related to menstruation. Before he gets married he must understand the menstrual cycle and the repercussions such as bleeding, pain, cramps, mood changes and the related psychology. It is he who is going to take care of her in the initial years of building a relationship with her because she has entered his house for good and it is not the other way round.
It is his responsibility as a husband to make his wife happy so that they can both lead a good life. Here are some suggestions to make it possible.
13 Tips To Build A Strong Marriage With Your New Wife
- In the initial days and months, make her feel comfortable and help her adjust to the new setup.
- If she is staying with you by herself, help her with small day-to-day tasks. Do not expect her to be on her toes all the time.
- Never expect her to know everything just because she is now your wife. She is as new to this relationship as you are. Maturity is essential when handling issues together.
- She may not be a great cook. Like you, she invested time in education and building her career. Give her time to learn, if she chooses to. Love and patience matter more than perfection.
- Be romantic in simple ways. Surprise her with small gifts, kind notes, or heartfelt “thank you” and “I love you” messages to help her feel cherished.
- Make time for her. Plan weekends or short outings to enjoy meaningful quality time together.
- Involve her in important family matters and genuinely value her opinions.
- Avoid being overly dependent on your mother. Balance is important. Mutual respect helps prevent unnecessary emotional strain in marriage.
- Do not be judgmental. If disagreements arise between her and your family members, stay calm and avoid taking sides impulsively.
- If she has professional goals or ambitions, support and encourage her to pursue them wholeheartedly.
- Be her best friend, not just a traditional husband. Create a safe space where she can share her thoughts freely and honestly.
- Never force her into anything, especially sexual intimacy. Respect her boundaries and understand the importance of consent. “No” always means no.
- Give her personal space. Marriage does not erase her individuality, friendships, or social life. Respect who she is beyond the relationship.
The secret of a harmonious, loving and peaceful coexistence is to do SWOT analysis for ourselves and other people. Focusing on people’s strengths and merits rather than on their weaknesses and defects is the key to building strong relationships. When we focus on the faults of others, we only draw those negative forces on to ourselves.
We are so cultured we do not want to pollute the atmosphere with negative vibrations. Let us do away with ingrained notions of prejudice and biased views. Let us eradicate the judgmental attitude we possess. No one in the world is perfect. A union through marriage, friendships and relationships brings two imperfect human beings together and makes one cohesive figure out of it. Unless we accept that we are imperfect we may lose all the possibilities of making our life blessed and blissed out.
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