Can I Have Hot Pregnancy Sex?
A big question when it comes to pregnancy is about sex. Can you still have it? What’s safe? Is hot pregnancy sex possible? What about sex toys, are they going to harm you while you are pregnant or affect the baby that is now a part of your body? While there are precautions to take into consideration the short answer is no, you do not have to put down your vibrator. Phew!
If you are a regular lover and user of sex toys with your partner or just for masturbation you will be thrilled to know that just because you are pregnant it does not mean you have to lock your favorite sex toys away and wait that incredibly long 9 months to get them out again.
What Are The Risk And Warnings?
Now while every women is different and every pregnancy is different, some general factors to consider if you are wanting to continue or even begin using sex your while you are pregnant it is important to get the dangers and cautions out of the way first:
- Check with your doctor.
- Are you a high risk pregnancy or have you had complications? If so consult your doctor as there might be risks you are not aware of when it comes to sex or sex toys.
- Every sex toy that you use or that enters your body MUST be sterilized and 100% clean. This is incredibly important as you do not want to be transfer diseases or infections into your body while you are pregnant.
- Do not use anal sex toys in the vagina, mix and matching can cause infection.
- Be aware of extra sensitivity. Although you may not realize now your body changes a lot throughout pregnancy and so does your sensitivity to certain areas, so what felt good before may not feel good while you’re pregnant e.g. nipples
- Be gentle. While it is not in the pregnancy sex handbook, when using sex toys be aware of how you are using the sex toy and how rough you might get. As long as it feels good for you and there is no pain you are safe.
- DO NOT use e-stim (electro stimulation) sex toys internally or externally. This is incredibly important to be aware of as this can affect your baby directly.
- Stay away from certain sex toys that contain phthalates as they can cause disruptions to your hormones. Always opt for “phthalate free”.
Use Proper Lubrication
Another product that goes hand in hand with sex and sex toys is lube. When you are pregnant be aware that anything with a high sugar level can cause yeast infections in the vagina and anything with menthol for “cooling” or any lube labelled for “warming” or “buzzing”, stay away! Keep it simple with a basic good quality lubricant to keep safe.
Although it may feel like a lot of warnings and cautions don’t be put off using your favorite sex toy, embrace the precautions and play it safe but make sure you still play. While women are pregnant there are so many hormones rushing through the body every day and once you have passed the first 3 months and all the nausea is gone you will start to feel an incredible surge of energy and endorphins along with the desire for sex.
Oh yes, women become incredibly horny and desire things they may not have before, so embrace the feelings and have sex! Masturbate! Go for an old favourite or try something new. Keeping in mind the basic precautions sex should not be limited to “vanilla” you should be embracing your desires and feeding your body what it needs.
What Sex Toys Are Safe To Use While Pregnant?
When it comes to the sex toys themselves what is going to be safe and what should we be keeping away from? Maybe now is not the time to start training for a 13 inch don’t or a larger than life butt plug but you’re not limited to some of the greats:
- Dongs (vibrating or non-vibrating) are more than safe to use while pregnant. Made to simulate the penis and to be used for internal penetration, dongs are a great way to satisfy the urge if you do not have a partner or just require a little bit of extra penetration. Although they are not as soft as the real deal careful and enjoy. A personal recommendation, the Real Feel range. These sex toys are soft and lifelike and will give optimum pleasure and realistic feel.
- Vibrators are a women’s best friend and totally safe to use while pregnant. Use for masturbation or with your partner for more intense orgasms which are totally baby safe.
- Anal play. While it is totally safe to use anal plugs, beads or dongs while pregnant, it is important to be gentle and considerate your limits.
- Nipple stimulation can be amazing when pregnant if you are one of the lucky women whose breasts are not aching. Start out slowly and if you are comfortable with more intense nipple stimulation e.g. from clamps and suction cups go for it!
- Get creative! While women are pregnant it can be a little more difficult to man oeuvre around the baby belly to find the right position that’s good for both you and your partner. Some great positions for optimum satisfaction; doggy style, women on top or spooning.
External Stimulation Is A Simple And Safe Approach
For those who are still a little too wary of the cautions, don’t give up on sex toys all together. Try some light clitoral stimulation with something like the Nu Sensuelle Point bullet vibrator or something you can take in the bath to make your alone time a little more special with the Satisfyer Pro Plus next generation. These sex toys are designed for external use only and you don’t need to worry about any penetration that might make you uncomfortable.
Embrace your beautiful body and the new found sex drive you have from all the hormones pregnancy has graced you with because I can assure you after that baby is born you will not want this kind of attention for a while. Use your sex toys alone or with your partner and enjoy the intense orgasms and sense of euphoria.
Pregnancy And Sex: The Truth No One Talks About
Let’s talk about pregnancy and sex. Before falling pregnant I heard a lot of things like “wait till your pregnant you will want SEX 24/7”. And “omg it’s so much better when you are pregnant”. Now let me tell you this was not the case for me at all. Pregnancy at the most of times is hard balancing work and studies in-between you almost forget the time your meant to make for yourself.
My sex life went from a 20/10 to a 1/10 if that.
There became a time at month 3 that I decided to give up on sex completely as I wasn’t feeling it. It became a chore more then something that I wanted or craved.
It’s funny how much the brain plays a part of sex. Smells, touch, heat/cold your brain decides all of that. So something that may have felt tingly and amazing before now feels over sensitive or uncomfortable.
It’s a really hard thing to come to terms with because you don’t realize how much good sex makes you happy until you stop it.
No I don’t just mean orgasming.
Its so much more than that. When you form that connection with someone should I say that constant lust for attention and touch. A simple kiss on the neck can be the most amazing feeling you feel every hair on your body stand up.
Hot shower running down your back and having your partner wrapped around you pressed against you. These are all the things that stop when sex stops. Because there is so much tension on you both that’s the last thing you want to do.
Funniest part for me is how hard it is to change that, something that came so natural before is now so strange and foreign. That’s until ……..
But WAIT – My Pregnany and Sex Saviour
I found the mighty sex wand and yes I’m talking about that thing everyone says “omg that looks like a microphone”.
Now let me tell you that microphone in a space of 40 seconds if that brought on a frenzy of emotion and feelings back to my life. I don’t know how I haven’t brought this into my life earlier and I will discuss this later in my blog.
The sensation this sex toy gives you solo or with a partner in my case this was the saviour of my relationship. 2 months on from the “end of my relationship if you want to call it that” this sex toy has simply fixed so much. It has filled that gap of feeling unwanted and loved I now get to have the sex life I had and even more.
I couldn’t recommend this enough to pregnant or not pregnant women that just are not “feeling it” in the bed room. And for women that are thinking they cant enjoy it and they haven’t, I can only tell you my personal experience and this is it.
Take Control of Your Pleasure
It’s a great way to allow you to take control of your body. Not relying on him to try and do something that isn’t humanly possible. We put so much pressure on males from things we have watched from porn and say that they cannot do there “job right”. Which leads to no communication and then your relationship forms around the thought of him doing his job wrong.
But ladies its your job to make you feel good as well and to aid him with the information that feels good for you. Every female body is different. Sometimes we forget that and we accept that we do not need pleasure and that as long as he’s happy that’s all that matters.
I believed this for 8 years with my ex until I had enough and took control.
Yes that’s 8 years without an orgasm with a partner.
So the current partner I have I just simply took control. Figured out what I wanted and liked. Once I figured that out I seen sex in such a different light.
The mighty body wand has been the highlight of my sex toy experience. I have owned many many toys and this for me just made my brain scramble when I used it. Its funny I bought it thinking “oh it’s a vibrator cool”.
Pffftttt was I wrong.
First experience I had with this amazing toy was a midnight. Just finished work and really just wanted a hot shower. I wasn’t expecting much from this toy at all.
Oh boy did it prove me wrong.
I started using it in the shower solo until my partner realized what I had gotten up to. He decided to join me he stepped into the shower and kissed my neck from behind. This is the first time I had butterflies since being pregnant.
I had Goosebumps all over my body. A sensation I can’t explain he entered me from behind and my god my body started going crazy. With the combination of this powerful wand and the thrusts of his penis deep inside me sent me over the edge with in 40 seconds making me unable to stand.
He continued to thrust while holding me up
Pushing me against the cold glass making my nipples hard and sensitive. He continued to fuck me while pulling my hair until I started gushing which lead to him cumming instantly.
It was the most sensitive and eye rolling orgasm I have had in 8 months. And I thank the wand for this. Now when I talk about pregnant sex or sex in general with anyone this toy definitely gets a mention and comes under my must buy list.
Doggy is a must with this toy. It hits all the spots perfectly. And its also waterproof which makes it fun for those cold nights when you want a hot bath or shower and also want to have fun.
It also doubles as an awesome massager so I don’t know what else you could ask for!!!!!!!!
Sex After Pregnancy!
Well, I have recently returned to work after giving birth to my third baby. I wrote an article about sex pregnancy on this site a while back, before I gave birth about having sex during pregnancy.
So, I thought I would do a follow up on sex ‘ after’ having a baby.
Now I know some of you boys out there might want to switch off, put your fingers in your ears and sing “la la la” really loudly! Some of you girls may even want to switch off now! It isn’t something that gets talked about often. I can honestly say in all the baby groups and library sing-song sessions I attended over the last 10 months, not one lady has come up to me and said “hey how”s ya vagina?”
So sit back, get comfortable, and get the popcorn out!….
Truth is after expelling the equivalent of a watermelon out of my privates…Even I couldn’t bring myself to touch or look at my vagina, let alone let anyone else near it!
It felt like a god damn crime scene!
Joking aside though. Most nurses advise at least 4 – 6 weeks before you have any kind of sex, it actually isn’t safe. So I think the thoughts and feelings I had was just my body telling me to hold off….and maybe spend a bit of time bonding with baby, which obviously is amazing.
Then the next set of untalked about thoughts and feelings kicks in.
What if I don’t ever ever feel like sex again?
Well, that is a normal and natural thought too.
Libido after birth is scientifically lowered and as well as being completely emotionally overwhelmed, you are really bloody exhausted! Lower levels of estrogen you now have cause vaginal dryness, on top of that, breastfeeding can cause dryness as well.
Boy oh boy, that was depressing! Good news is that we are made to make babies! It is what sex is for. Thankfully there is now contraception to make sure the whole baby thing only happens when you are ready for it. And we can have recreational fun!
I can tell you though, I had anxious feelings about my sex life after birth all 3 times. Every time I have been amazed by how the body and mind heal. I would like to be able to say I still have the vagina of a 16-year-old…I maybe should have asked the doctor to pop a cheeky couple of extra stitches in for hubby!
For me, thankfully it is all well that ends well.
It can be emotionally and physically consuming and may require some proactive measures, Go down to Adultsmart for some decent Lube. Superslyde is great and maybe for Mum, a new toy to play with, just to get yourselves back into the mood without having pressure from each other.
And most importantly some Kegels to strengthen the muscles down there! There are plenty of articles on Kegels and the benefits of using them on the Adultsmart Blog. I can’t stress the importance of these, especially as you have more pregnancies and get older.
When you piss every time you sneeze, it t sure isn’t sexy! Kegels should be mandatorily prescribed pre and post pregnancy.
Partner Jealousy of Baby
The other thing that can be challenging, is your partner’s jealousy over the bond you have with the new baby. Try to find time for each other, even if it is just a kiss and a cuddle.
A baby can make a couple more intimate. But sometimes it does the exact opposite. So, on a daily basis both parties need to make a bit of an extra effort in thinking about each other’s feelings.
Just when you thought it was all dry vaginas and bad moods
There are the leaking breasts! Now there are a whole lot of men out there paying good money to watch lactating women. I know that for a fact. But it can be a bit strange for a couple to associate where the baby feeds from to something sexual.
It becomes less of an erogenous zone for a woman. But at the same time, they can squirt if intimately touched. My advice about that one is if it isn’t your “thing” to have a good laugh about it.
So whilst I was convinced I would never be able to have enjoyable sex again, I can vouch for the fact that it happens. Slowly but surely the mind and body work in ways that can be beyond our control, although we can certainly help the process with some decent advice and products.
It’s easy to forget sometimes the reason we have sex. Nature wants us to procreate and have babies. Unlike most living things on the planet though, nature made it fun for us too and extremely pleasurable. Nowadays thankfully we can make the most of our liberal societies and science and have as much of it as we like without necessarily ending up with a baby at the end of it. Most of us though at one point in our lives will follow the action through to its natural consequence and decide to actually have one. What happens then? When you are pregnant, is it OK to carry on having sex during pregnancy?
Yes and No and Here’s Why
I thought the answer to that would be yes, but I found out occasionally that isn’t true.
In general though it can be a great time to have sexual intercourse. The pressure is off for one thing. No more need for contraception. It maybe the case that sex has been all about having babies. And not so much about the fun part, so it can be better because of that too.
Men can feel a bit left out at this time when it is all about the pregnancy and the woman. So it is good to make a bit of extra effort to keep that side of things alive in pregnancy and sex.
Sex during Pregnancy
It’s a bit different for lots of reasons. A pregnant woman’s blood volume increases and engorges the sexual organs increasing sensitivity and improving orgasms.
And obviously, breasts can grow to gargantuan sizes. Libido is something that will definitely have an impact, your man might be constantly horny because of your huge breasts and a lot of men find pregnant women very attractive.
Pregnant women can positively bloom, with brighter eyes better skin and thicker hair. The fluctuating hormones can make a woman’s sex drive go through the roof once the first months are over. Couples report having more sex in the last 6 months of pregnancy than they ever had before. Lots of women experience very vivid erotic dreams too.
It isn’t his way for all couples though.
58% of women suffer with decreased sex drive and are nauseous and tired for the first months. Often men either find the pregnant body non-sexual. Many even feel strange going near the baby with a penis in any way or else feel the baby is somehow watching.
Worries about somehow hurting the baby are common.
It is impossible, the baby is not in the vagina and there is a cervix and an amniotic sac of fluid between everything. No matter how well-endowed a man is, he is never going to bump the baby.
They do say that although oral sex is fine you shouldn’t blow air into the vagina as it may cause an air embolism in rare cases. Sex toys and lubricant’s are all fine just be extra careful when it comes to hygiene as any kind of infection can be bad news for a developing baby. Oral sex with someone who has had a cold sore is out in the last three months as if the mother is infected she will need a C-section.
Some Reasons to Lay Off Sex During Pregnancy
There are as I mentioned a couple of situations that may mean laying off sex altogether. If there is a risk of miscarriage or preterm birth or a doctor puts the mother on bed rest, then the contractions and hormones produced while actually orgasming can bring on labour. They use the same chemicals to induce labours in hospital as the body naturally produces during sex. If the baby isn’t ready to come though, you can go at it like rabbits and not worry.
Positions to Have Sex in Change
Sex positions for pregant women will change too because of the shape of the woman and the weight of the stomach. Doggy style, side by side and woman on top are probably most commonly used. As well as the exterior shape the cervix maybe lower down and deep penetration might be uncomfortable. Doctors don’t usually advise a woman to lay for long on her back in the later stages as the uterus can press against the heart veins and restrict blood flow to the baby.
Once the baby arrives
You will be able to resume your usual habits after the 6 week check-up. Some women feel like it will hurt their traumatised vagina which is completely understandable and the extra oestrogen produced for breast-feeding can dry out the vagina. Although you can buy creams to help that.
On top of all this there is the stress and inevitable fatigue that go hand in hand with any new baby. Post-natal depression is also a reality for some women.
All a couple can do is wait until everything feels OK again.
There is no normal time for that to happen. Nothing good will ever come from putting pressure on each other and it will eventually all be back to normal, it has to be, otherwise we would all stop having babies and nature doesn’t want that to happen.
A Guide to Better Sex During Pregnancy
Pregnancy is a unique and transformative period, teeming with physical, emotional, and hormonal changes. While some women might experience a heightened sex drive, others may observe the opposite.
This comprehensive guide seeks to demystify the concerns, misconceptions, and benefits of sex during pregnancy. Empowering prospective parents to navigate the realm of intimacy with greater confidence and understanding.
First Trimester: Understanding Your Sex Drive
During the initial phase of pregnancy, a woman’s sex drive can fluctuate unpredictably. Primarily due to hormonal changes and pregnancy symptoms. Some women might experience an increased libido, while others may notice a decline in their sexual interest.
Factors Affecting Sex Drive
Several factors can impact a woman’s sex drive during the first trimester of pregnancy:
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Nausea and Fatigue: The common pregnancy symptoms of nausea and tiredness can diminish a woman’s interest in sex.
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Fear of Miscarriage: Some couples might abstain from sex due to the fear of harming the unborn baby or causing a miscarriage.
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Body Image Concerns: Changes in the body can impact a woman’s self-perception and potentially affect her interest in sex.
However, it’s crucial to note that, unless explicitly advised by a healthcare provider, sex during pregnancy is generally safe and does not increase the risk of miscarriage.
Second Trimester: A Time of Rekindled Intimacy
As pregnancy progresses into the second trimester, many couples experience a revival in their sex life. Women may find that their libido increases as they become more comfortable with their changing bodies.
Benefits of Sex During the Second Trimester
Sex during the second trimester can offer several benefits:
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Increased Libido: Some women might experience a heightened sex drive during this phase of pregnancy.
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Boosted Self-Image: Sex can help pregnant women feel more comfortable and confident in their changing bodies.
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Enhanced Intimacy: Sex can foster a deeper emotional and physical connection with your partner.
Experimenting with New Sexual Positions
The second trimester can also be an opportune time to experiment with new sexual positions that accommodate the growing belly. Some potential positions include spooning, with the woman lying on her side and her partner behind her, or the woman-on-top position, offering more control over the movements and depth of penetration.
Third Trimester: Adjusting to Your Changing Body
As pregnancy advances into the third trimester, couples might notice a decrease in their sexual activity. The growing belly can make certain sexual positions uncomfortable or even unfeasible.
Adapting to New Sexual Positions
During the third trimester, women might find certain positions, such as side-by-side or rear entry positions, more comfortable. These positions allow for shallower penetration, which can be more comfortable as the pregnancy progresses.
Non-Penetrative Intimacy
Remember, intimacy during pregnancy doesn’t always have to involve penetration. If intercourse becomes uncomfortable during the third trimester, couples can explore other forms of intimacy such as kissing, cuddling, massages, or mutual masturbation.
When to Avoid Sex During Pregnancy
While sex during pregnancy is generally safe, there are certain conditions where a healthcare provider might advise against it:
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High-Risk Pregnancy: If the pregnancy is deemed high-risk due to factors like a history of preterm labor or miscarriages, sex might be discouraged.
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Placenta Previa: In cases where the placenta covers the cervix, known as placenta previa, sex should be avoided to prevent potential complications.
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Premature Rupture of Membranes: If the amniotic sac ruptures prematurely, sex can increase the risk of infections.
Using Sex for Natural Induction
Some couples might use sex as a natural method to induce labor, although there’s no conclusive evidence to support its effectiveness. However, unless advised otherwise by a healthcare provider, couples can continue having sex throughout the ninth month right up until the onset of labor.
Protecting Your Baby and Yourself
Even though you’re pregnant, it’s still crucial to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) that could potentially harm you and your baby. If you or your partner has multiple sexual partners, using condoms or other barrier methods can provide protection against STDs.
Final Thoughts
Sex during pregnancy can be a sensitive and often misunderstood topic. This guide aims to provide clarity and alleviate any concerns prospective parents might have. It’s crucial to remember that every woman’s experience with pregnancy and sex is unique.
Always listen to your body, communicate openly with your partner, and consult with your healthcare provider to ensure a safe and satisfying sex life during pregnancy.
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