VIP Interview With Hypnotherapist Dr Janet Hall About Painful Sex
What you need to know about About Painful Sex.
Getting professional help is one important step you can take to improve your sexuality lifestyle and relationships. Dr Janet Hall: With guidance from a sex expert, you will be able to develop a better understanding on how psychology impacts sexual performance in the bedroom.
Aside from gaining information, there are various techniques which work that include motivation and hypnotherapy. With the advancements of technology, these techniques can be used in the comfort of your home.
Hypnotherapy is commonly used to encourage and empower people to make constructive changes, in a step to develop new styles of behaviour in attempt to change how thoughts have been networked together. It is often used for people who have phobias, ingrained negative thinking patterns, illogical worries, stress related problems and overwhelming feelings which may bring on feelings of pain.
Within people’s sexual lifestyles these topics may include problems with erection problems, achieving astounding orgasms, become sexually empowered, manage painful sex and the prevention of premature ejaculation.
Dr Janet Hall specialises in hypnotherapy which helps people who experience the symptoms of painful sex.
About Painful Sex
Health conditions where people experience pain during sex include:
- Vaginismus: Vaginismus is the uncontrollable spasms of the vaginal muscles which can cause intense levels of pain for varying lengths of time and which can stop penetration during intercourse. The male partner often says :It feels like my penis is hitting a brick wall”.
- Vulvodynia: Vulvodynia is a chronic illness where a women experiences pain in her external organs including the clitoris, labia and vaginal opening. Medical professionals are often able to explain what causes it. It may be nerve damage under the skin as often it all looks healthy. However it is super sensitive and the best test of it is to hold a cotton bud to the skin. If this causes pain – it’s vulvadynia!
- Dyspareunia: Dyspareunia is painful sex which is caused by medical and psychological reasons. Some people who have Dyspareunia experience the pain on the genitlia and some may experience the pain deeper in the pelvic area.
- Menopause: Menopause is a natural stage in a women’s life where her estrogen levels lowers to the point where menstruation stops completely. It is often experienced by women aged between 40 to 61 but can also happen to women in their 20s and 30s. During Menopause the vaginal tissue may thin out which can women more prone to experience irritation and pain during penetrative sex.
In hypnotherapy, the hypnotist will induce an altered state of deep relaxation (it is not a state of deep sleep) through talking to the person with a soothing voice. During this time the person’s breathing and pulse rate slows down.
They may still be mindful of what is happening around them and are in complete control of their body, so they will not do anything they don’t want to do.
Whilst they are in this state the trained professional provides suggestions which are tailored to their needs. The method uses psychological and communication techniques so it works on a deep subconscious level. It will only work if the hypnotised person has consented to accept them. You cannot be placed into hypnosis against your will which is why it is often called self-hypnosis. Hypnosis is most likely to work on you have a decent imagination, enjoy reading a book or watching movies and you have sturdy attention levels.
We have spoken to Dr Janet Hall, a Clinical Psychologist and Hypnotherapist about how her work impacts people’s sexual lifestyles especially people who experience painful sex.
Tell me about yourself
Dr. Janet Hall: My work in private practice, writing, media, work-shops and public speaking is always aimed at helping people to learn user-friendly ways of understanding how to change behaviour to achieve happy, resilient lives as individuals, partners and families.
I became interested in the challenge of working with adults and teens about sexual behaviour and healthy partnering and have recorded seventeen audios and written two paperback books and fifteen ebooks on sexuality (Sex-Wise Teens and Sex-Life Solutions). These all sell online at amazon and audible as well as my own online shop at www.drjanethall.com.
In my book – Sex-life Solutions (Finch Publishing, 2004) – I explain that sexual difficulties in couple relationships are common, however they can be readily overcome.
Often, the difficult part for couples is talking about them together. This needs to happen, as all too often these problems can lead to the breakdown of the relationship or limit a person’s ability to have intimate relations at all.
Sex-Life Solutions discusses ways to overcome common anxieties, problems with performance or rejection, and patterns from the past that can be a block to a happier relationship. The book addresses the differences between men and women in terms of how they behave, think and feel about such personal issues.
The book is a practical guide that offers step-by-step directions for talking together and solving sexual difficulties. With the help of case studies it examines:
- How to deal with the difficulties created by different perceptions and anxieties – which include misunderstandings about sex and negative judgements of masturbation.
- How women can deal with specific anxieties about sex, problems with orgasms, and the fear of painful sex.
- How men can deal with their specific anxieties about sex, erection and ejaculation difficulties.
- How to overcome mismatched libido (desire discrepancy), the problems couples experience due to limiting beliefs about sex, and difficulties caused by our busy or stressful lifestyles.
I aim to give people confidence to confront problems in this intimate area, deal with any anxieties and learn how to feel safe with their sexuality.
What is your inspiration for becoming a clinical psychology and hypnotherapist?
Psychology fascinates me because it facilitates discovery of ways to understand learning, behaviour and how to help people prevent, manage and solve problems with their lives.
I love to use hypnosis as an adjunctive tool where it greatly assists time-valued outcomes. You can program for success without having to get out into the real world and make mistakes! Sometimes hypnosis is like a magic wand!
What did you study?
I have a Masters Degree in Psychology and a PhD.
What are your favourite quotes that inspire you?
“What will you do with this one and only precious life?” Mary Oliver
“Every day’s a new day – a chance to wipe the slate clean and start again.”
“Positive thinking may not work every time, but negative thinking does.”
My favorite quote is my signature on my emails:
“You’ve got to sing as if you don’t need the money
You’ve got to love as if you’ll never get hurt
You’ve got to dance as if there’s nobody watching
It’s got to come from the heart if you want it to work!”
I like quotes which help me move forward with excitement for positive living.
Is Hypnotherapy what you see in the movies? For example, the hypnotist waving a pocket watch in front of the patients face saying “You are getting very sleepy”.
That is stage hypnosis where there is smoke and mirrors and not at all like medical hypnosis which is what qualified professionals use.
Explain what is in your hypnotherapy?
Dr Jan’s Hypnosis Benefits
- Dr Jan’s sex-therapy tips help “prime” and endorse the conscious mind with healthy sex facts.
- Hypnosis then helps the unconscious mind heal any past inaccurate or painful programming and then reprogram for a successful sex-life.
- The body is then free to be relaxed and ready for arousal and experience sensational sex.
Too often we have been conditioned to view our sexual bodies as less than perfect. Because of this we have to use corrective imagery and sensory awakening to restore proper feeling and functions. Hypnosis trains you to change your inner view and explore your real feeling. Negative memories, no matter how distant in the past, have a tendency to be the cause of reduced pleasurable sensations because of the extreme vulnerability of sexuality to negative thinking.
What does hypnotherapy feel like to the patient?
It feels like a state of relaxation where the body is so comfortable the mind can begin to imagine just about anything the hypnotist suggests.
What types of suggestions will you make to help women who experience painful sex?
Sex should be a pleasurable experience which you anticipate with delight.
Hypnosis can help you to focus on the pleasure and relax to enjoy the intimate connection with your partner that you deserve.
Hypnosis can help reduce painful sex by distracting you from fear.
Patients with anxiety disorders frequently become absorbed in the fear state. Their anxiety responses generate further thoughts concerning the danger posed by the symptoms and their inability to cope.
Hypnosis can provide an adaptive and useful method of reducing this reactivity to the anxiety-producing situation and to the symptoms that may follow.
In my audio recording called How to have Pain Free Sex through Hypnosis there is a beautiful scene where I take you into a forest where you come to a lovely leafy glade and bathe beneath a waterfall to take away all your upset about discomfort in sex.
You wait for your lover to come and then you enjoy pleasurable love-making with satisfaction.
How many sessions of hypnotherapy do you need for it to begin working? Do you need to do maintenance sessions?
The number of sessions varies and the hypnotherapist can never really predict how many someone will need. However hypnosis can often make positive changes in 2 or 3 sessions if the person is motivated.
The hypnotherapist will often make a recording for the person so they can continue to listen to the positive suggestions on a daily basis –just before going to sleep can be a great time to listen.
Personal motivation can be a strong impacting factor on people’s sexual lifestyles.
What types of thoughts would you recommend people tell themselves?
I am a good person. I do the best I can in all situations. I deserve to enjoy life and experience the sexual pleasure which is my birthright.
I am good enough. I don’t have to compare myself with others because always there will be someone who is better and someone who is worse than me.
Does telling ourselves positive thoughts on a daily basis change our thinking pattern?
Positive thinking is wonderful to lift our spirits and help us
“turn lemons into lemonade”.
We may need to write positive thoughts down and memorize them and say them over and over for them to really change our thinking. That’s why a hypnotherapist’s recording can be so useful.
Australian Zen Hypnotherapist Valerie Davis.
How To Manage Chronic Sexual Pain: 9 Tips and Tricks
Chronic sexual pain is a deeply personal and often misunderstood condition that can profoundly affect an individual’s quality of life, intimate relationships, and mental health.
Navigating this complex issue of chronic sexual pain requires an understanding of its causes, implications, and the available management strategies. In this article we will explore nine practical approaches to managing chronic sexual pain, aiming to provide relief and improve the well-being of those affected.
What Impact Does Chronic Sexual Pain Have?
Pain hurts, no matter which way you look at it. Pain is uncomfortable and distressing. Even the most stoic people, when faced with chronic pain, will find themselves faltering. Given that so much of sexual arousal is directly related to the psychology of a person, it’s no wonder that pain can hamper sex and intimacy.
Pain makes you tired, it makes it hard to concentrate. It makes it hard to feel aroused. In spite of feeling mentally aroused, pain can make it difficult to ascertain that a sexual response has started physically.
Pain can rapidly shut down a sexual response and completely ruin any pleasure one was feeling. Pain can make you hurt so much you can’t continue leaving you feeling like a sexual failure. If all that wasn’t enough, pharmacological treatments for pain can reduce libido, impede the physical sexual response by reducing erections, and can hinder women from producing natural lubrication.
All of these symptoms added together can make you anorgasmic, whereby despite sexual stimulation you are unable to reach climax and orgasm. It feels… nice, but you never really start to climb the crescendo towards the pinnacle of orgasm because you can not maintain the orgasmic feeling.
As a warrior of chronic pain for over 12 years, I’ve personally felt the impact pain has had on my sex life. I’ve felt the sexual failures as I’ve struggled to navigate pain, intimacy and sex. With plenty of patience, compassion and communication it is possible that you and your partner enjoy yourselves with mind-blowing sexual encounters.
9 Methods For Managing Chronic Sexual Pain
1 – If medications help to ease pain levels, ensure you’ve taken these medications with enough time for them to be active prior to sexual encounters to give you the best chance at enjoying yourself. If medications are impeding your arousal and ability to orgasm, speak with your doctor/pain team about alternatives.
2 – Experiment with different positions and use as many objects as needed to ensure you are comfortable at all times. Pillows, cushions, rolled up blankets and towels etc can be used to support whichever positions you find yourselves in. Use lounges, chairs, tables and bench tops to positions yourselves. There is a wonderful range of products designed to help with positioning. The companies Liberator and Sportsheets offer products to help with positioning during sex.
3 – Discover products at Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres that can enhance arousal and shorten time to orgasm. There are products like sexual arousal gels, vibrating adult toys and lubricants.
4 – This point cannot be emphasized enough – Communicate! To have the best sexual experience it is important to be always open an honest. It’s OK to start a sexual encounter and find yourself not enjoying it and wanting to stop. Let your partner know your sexual needs so that both of you can be flexible and open to your approaches. If you become disinterested with sex, switch from sexual activity to intimacy. Try being close to one another naked, enjoying skin on skin contact. You can also enjoy a massage together as the feeling of closeness and relaxation may make it easier to continue on to have sex.
5 – Create a new definition of what sex means to you and your partner. Sex doesn’t have to mean either of you reach a pinnacle climax or orgasm. If you change your definition of sex to being something like “We deserve to be sexually intimate with one another. Let’s do our best to pleasure each other.”
6 – Change what you think about intimacy and sexual encounters. Perhaps you can wear sexy lingerie and talk dirty whilst your partner admires you and masturbates themselves to orgasm. Relish in non-sexual contact such as hugs and massages. Watch pornography together and masturbate simultaneously. Read aloud from an erotic novel whilst touching each other.
7 – Never underestimate the greatness of the quickie! Quickie will make the experience short and the outcome can be generous for both of you.
8 – Most importantly, look after yourself. Listen to your body and stop if you’re not feeling it. Chronic pain does not make you a sexual failure. You’re a warrior for handling chronic pain. Remember that people without pain have their sexual bad days.
9 – There’s always tomorrow and lots of hugs.
What Causes Chronic Sex Pain?
Chronic sexual pain, medically known as dyspareunia, is a persistent or recurring discomfort experienced before, during, or after sexual intercourse. It’s a common but often unspoken issue, affecting numerous individuals worldwide. The pain may be localized in the genital area, felt externally on the vulva or internally in the vagina, uterus, or pelvis.
1. Causes of Chronic Sexual Pain
Sexual pain can stem from various causes, ranging from physical health conditions to psychological factors. Let’s delve into some of the most common causes of dyspareunia.
1.1 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)
Several STIs like gonorrhea, genital herpes, and chlamydia can lead to pain during intercourse. These infections often cause local inflammation, irritation, or discharge, making sexual activity uncomfortable.
1.2 Vaginal Dryness
Vaginal dryness is a widespread issue affecting women of different ages. It can result from hormonal fluctuations, stress, certain medications, or natural aging processes. The lack of adequate lubrication can lead to discomfort or pain during sex.
1.3 Endometriosis
Endometriosis is a condition where tissue resembling the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterine cavity. This condition can cause severe pain during intercourse and other symptoms like heavy menstrual bleeding and infertility.
1.4 Ovarian Cysts
Ovarian cysts are fluid-filled sacs developing on the ovaries. While many cysts are asymptomatic and resolve independently, some can grow large, causing pelvic pain and discomfort during sex.
1.5 Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID)
PID is an infection of the female reproductive organs, often resulting from untreated STIs. This condition can lead to significant pain during intercourse and can cause long-term complications if left untreated.
1.6 Vaginismus
Vaginismus involves involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles. This condition can make penetration painful or impossible, greatly affecting an individual’s sexual health.
1.7 Psychological Factors
Psychological issues like anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem can prevent sexual arousal, leading to discomfort during intercourse. Furthermore, a history of sexual abuse can contribute to sexual pain disorders.
2. Types of Chronic Sexual Pain
Chronic sexual pain can be categorized into different types based on the location and nature of the pain.
2.1 Entry Pain
Also known as superficial dyspareunia, entry pain is felt at the entrance to the vagina during initial penetration. This type of pain is often associated with lack of lubrication, injury, or infection.
2.2 Deep Pain
Known as deep dyspareunia, this type of pain occurs with deep penetration and often worsens in certain sexual positions. Women may feel this pain in the cervix, uterus, or lower abdomen. Conditions like endometriosis, fibroids, or ovarian cysts often cause deep pain.
2.3 Pain from Superficial Genital Contact
Some individuals experience pain from superficial genital contact. This could be due to skin infections, irritation, or other conditions affecting the genital skin.
3. Symptoms of Chronic Sexual Pain
The symptoms of chronic sexual pain may vary depending on the underlying cause. Some common symptoms include:
3.1 Sharp Pain
Sharp pain can occur during penetration or at the entry point. This can be due to insufficient lubrication, an infection, or a physical condition like vaginismus.
3.2 Deep Pain
Deep pain is often experienced during thrusting. This could be a result of conditions affecting the deeper pelvic organs, such as endometriosis or ovarian cysts.
3.3 Throbbing or Aching Pain
Some individuals may experience throbbing or aching pain after intercourse. This could be due to inflammation or infection in the genital area.
3.4 Burning Pain
Burning pain can be a sign of an infection or a skin condition affecting the genital area.
3.5 Pelvic Cramping
Pelvic cramping during or after intercourse can indicate a pelvic disorder, such as endometriosis or pelvic inflammatory disease.
4. Diagnosing Chronic Sexual Pain
Diagnosing chronic sexual pain involves a thorough health history and physical examination. The medical provider will perform various tests based on the patient’s symptoms and medical history.
4.1 Physical Examination
A physical examination could include a pelvic exam, a rectal exam, and a Pap test. The healthcare provider may also collect a sample of vaginal fluid and urine to test for signs of infection.
4.2 Ultrasounds
Transvaginal ultrasound can provide a better view of the female reproductive system, helping identify any abnormalities that might be causing the pain.
4.3 Laparoscopy
Although rare, laparoscopy might be used if other tests are inconclusive. This procedure allows the healthcare provider to view the pelvic organs and detect any abnormalities.
5. Treatment Options for Chronic Sexual Pain
The treatment for chronic sexual pain primarily depends on the underlying cause. Let’s explore some of the common treatment options.
5.1 Hormone Therapy
If vaginal dryness due to low estrogen is the cause of the pain, topical estrogens can be applied to the vagina. Hormone replacement therapy can help restore thickness and elasticity to vaginal skin, reducing discomfort during sex.
5.2 Antibiotics
If the pain is due to an STI or bacterial vaginosis, antibiotics can cure the infection within two weeks, alleviating the pain.
5.3 Antifungal Creams or Tablets
If a yeast infection is causing the pain, the healthcare provider might prescribe a cream or pill to get rid of the fungus.
5.4 Vaginal Lubricants
For women experiencing painful intercourse due to vaginal dryness, water-based lubricants can be beneficial. They can enhance natural lubrication and reduce discomfort during sex.
5.5 Psychological Therapy
For individuals with a history of sexual abuse or trauma, working with a psychologist or licensed therapist can be beneficial. These professionals can provide support and help address the emotional and psychological aspects of sexual pain.
6. When to Seek Medical Attention
Any persistent or distressing pain during sex should not be ignored. It’s crucial to consult a healthcare professional to diagnose the underlying cause of the pain. It’s particularly important to seek medical attention if you experience any spotting or bleeding after painful intercourse.
7. Preventing Chronic Sexual Pain
While it’s not always possible to prevent chronic sexual pain, there are steps you can take to reduce your risk. Practicing safe sex, maintaining good genital hygiene, and addressing any health issues promptly can help prevent conditions that might lead to sexual pain.
8. Living with Chronic Sexual Pain
Living with chronic sexual pain can be challenging, affecting not only your physical health but also your emotional well-being and personal relationships. However, with the right treatment and support, it’s possible to manage the pain and lead a fulfilling sexual life.
9. Importance of Communication
Open communication with your partner about your pain is essential. Discussing what feels good and what causes discomfort can significantly improve the sexual experience and strengthen the bond between partners.
10. The Role of Self-Care With Chronic Sexual Pain
Self-care plays a crucial role in managing discomfort during intimacy. Practices such as pelvic floor exercises, relaxation techniques, and mindfulness can help manage the pain and improve sexual health.
Dealing with chronic sexual pain can be challenging, but it’s essential to remember that you’re not alone. Many individuals experience similar issues, and there’s a wide range of treatments available. Don’t hesitate to seek help if you’re struggling with sexual pain. With the right support and treatment, it’s entirely possible to overcome this issue and enjoy a healthy, fulfilling sex life.
Chronic sexual pain is a complex issue that requires a compassionate and comprehensive approach. By understanding the potential causes, seeking appropriate medical attention, practicing open communication, and taking a holistic approach to treatment, one can embark on a journey towards a healthier, more enjoyable sexual life.
The journey to overcoming sexual pain is not just about addressing a medical condition; it’s about empowering individuals to take control of their sexual health and well-being, leading to a more fulfilling and pain-free intimate life.
By Alicia a consultant from Adult Lifestyle Centres
Meet Elaine, our full-time sex blogger! With a background in women’s lifestyle blogs, she brings expertise to Adultsmart and runs Good Girl Guide too.
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