Posted: 1 September 2026 | Updated: 1 September 2026 | 7 min read
Self-Love September is a reminder to give your own pleasure some actual attention. It might mean setting aside private time, working out what your body likes or choosing a toy that fits your mood instead of grabbing the first colourful thing on the page.
Self-Love September Is a Good Excuse to Lock the Door
Most of us are very good at finding time for work, errands and replying to messages we would rather ignore. Making time for our own pleasure somehow gets pushed to the bottom of the list, usually somewhere below folding the laundry.
That is where Self-Love September comes in. It is not a strict pleasure schedule, and nobody needs another task on their list marked “orgasm by 8 pm.” It is simply a reason to slow down, pay attention to your body and spend some time doing what genuinely feels good.
That could mean taking longer instead of racing to the finish, trying a sensation you have been curious about or putting your phone on silent before someone ruins the mood with a group chat notification. Throughout September, we will cover shopping for solo toys by mood, beginner-friendly prostate play, air-pulse toys, vibrators and ways men can break out of the same old routine.
Self-Love September is an Adultsmart campaign about giving solo pleasure the same attention we give partnered sex. It is a full month for checking in with your body, trying something different and making time for yourself without feeling selfish about it.
Despite the name, you do not need to spend September surrounded by candles while repeating compliments into a mirror. Self-love can be much simpler. It might mean enjoying a longer solo session, learning which sensations work for you or finally replacing the vibrator that now sounds like a lawn mower.
It is also not limited to single people. Someone can have a great sex life with a partner and still enjoy private time. Knowing what your own body responds to can make solo play better and help you explain your preferences more clearly when another person joins in.
1. Make Time for Yourself
Private time • Fewer distractions • No rushing
Solo play often gets squeezed into whatever time is left over. A rushed few minutes can still be fun, but it is harder to relax when one ear is listening for footsteps or the delivery driver is three stops away.
Pick a realistic time
You do not need to clear an entire evening. Even 20 uninterrupted minutes can be enough.
Remove the distractions
Put your phone on silent, lock the door if possible and deal with anything likely to interrupt you first.
Keep everything nearby
Get your toy, lubricant and a clean towel ready before you begin. Nobody enjoys a half-naked search through the bathroom cupboard.
Stop watching the clock
Solo pleasure does not need to end in orgasm or follow a set schedule. Let it take the time it takes.
Keep it realistic: You do not need candles, music and a bedroom that looks like a day spa. You just need enough privacy to enjoy yourself without thinking about the washing machine.
2. Choose a Toy Based on Your Mood
Match the mood • Choose the sensation • Skip the guesswork
Most toy shopping starts with a product type, but that is not always the easiest way to choose. It can be more useful to start with the mood you are in and the kind of experience you want.
Gentle
Soft vibration, lower settings and toys that allow you to build the intensity slowly.
Powerful
Wands, focused vibrators and stronger settings for people who already know they enjoy intensity.
Hands-Free
Wearable toys, suction-base designs and options that stay in place while your hands do something else.
Slow and Teasing
Adjustable patterns, textured toys and settings that suit a longer build rather than a sprint to the finish.
Something Different
Air-pulse, rotating and thrusting toys for times when standard vibration feels a little too familiar.
Start with the feeling: A toy can look impressive and still be completely wrong for your mood. Decide how you want the session to feel, then compare the shapes, settings and features that suit it.
Related Guide
Best Solo Toys by Mood
A closer look at choosing a toy based on how you want to feel instead of getting lost in endless product categories.
Ideas for gentle, powerful and hands-free sessions
Options for different bodies and experience levels
Simple comparisons between popular stimulation styles
Useful starting points if you are unsure what to buy
3. Learn What Your Body Responds To
Pressure • Position • Pace • Patterns
A lot of people know what usually gets the job done, but not which part of the routine is doing most of the work. If you always use the same position, pressure and speed, it is easy to assume that is the only combination your body likes.
Change the pressure: Compare light touch with firmer pressure. More strength is not always better, especially around sensitive areas.
Adjust the position: Move your hand or toy slightly above, below or beside the usual spot. A small change in angle can create a noticeably different sensation.
Play with the pace: Try a slow build, a steady rhythm or short changes in speed. Racing straight to the highest setting can skip half the fun.
Test different patterns: Some bodies prefer a constant sensation, while others respond better to pulses, waves or short breaks.
Change one thing at a time: If you alter the speed, pressure, position and toy all at once, you will have no idea which part worked. The research may be enjoyable, but some basic method still helps.
4. Try Prostate Play at a Comfortable Pace
Start externally • Use lubricant • Never rush
Prostate play can sound far more complicated than it needs to be. You do not have to begin with penetration, buy the largest toy on the shelf or treat the session like a mission with a strict end goal.
Start on the outside.
The perineum sits between the testicles and anus. Gentle pressure or vibration here can provide external prostate stimulation without inserting anything.
Use plenty of lubricant.
The anus does not produce its own lubrication, so this is not the moment to be stingy. Reapply it if things begin to feel dry.
Keep the first toy small.
A slim beginner prostate massager is usually easier to insert and control than a larger or heavily textured design.
Give your body time to adjust.
Pause after insertion and let the muscles relax. There is no prize for getting the toy in quickly.
Important: Anything used anally must have a wide flared base or another secure method that prevents it from slipping fully inside. Household objects do not count as beginner toys, no matter how confident someone feels at the time.
Related Guide
A Beginner’s Guide to Prostate Play
A straightforward starting point for anyone curious about prostate stimulation but unsure where to begin.
External and internal starting options
How to choose a beginner-friendly toy
Why flared bases and lubricant matter
Simple comfort, cleaning and safety advice
5. Compare Air-Pulse and Vibration
Focused pulsing • Familiar vibration • Personal preference
Air-pulse toys and vibrators are often presented like two rivals fighting for space in the bedside drawer. In reality, they provide very different sensations, and plenty of people happily own both.
Air-Pulse
Uses changing air pressure around the clitoris
Creates a focused pulsing sensation
Usually involves less direct rubbing
Positioning the opening correctly matters
Best suited to external clitoral stimulation
Vibration
Sends vibration directly through the toy
Can feel broad, rumbly, buzzy or focused
Works across many external body areas
Available in a much wider range of shapes
Easy to move around and reposition during use
The quick answer: Air-pulse may suit you if you want focused clitoral stimulation with less rubbing. A vibrator may be the better pick if you want something flexible that can be used across more areas. Your body is allowed to vote for both.
Related Guide
Air-Pulse vs Vibrator: Which Is Right for You?
A closer comparison of how each technology feels, where it works and which option may suit your preferences.
How air-pulse and vibration feel different
The strengths and limits of each option
Which style may suit sensitive users
What beginners should consider before buying
6. Take Male Solo Play Beyond the Basics
Change the routine • Try new sensations • Slow things down
Male solo play is often treated as something that needs no explanation. Same hand, same grip, same result. There is nothing wrong with a reliable routine, but doing everything on autopilot can make pleasure feel more like a quick maintenance job.
A few small changes can make a familiar session feel completely different:
Use more lubricant: It can reduce uncomfortable friction and make stroking feel smoother, especially during longer sessions.
Change your position: Try lying down, standing, sitting or using your other hand. Yes, it may feel slightly uncoordinated at first.
Pay attention to more than the penis: The testicles, perineum, inner thighs and nipples can all be included instead of sitting on the sidelines.
Slow the pace: Edging and stop-start play can stretch out the build rather than turning every session into a race.
Add a toy: Strokers, vibrating rings, sleeves and prostate massagers can provide sensations that hands alone cannot easily copy.
Break one habit: You do not need to change the entire routine at once. Pick one thing to do differently and see how your body responds. If switching hands makes you feel like a beginner again, that is part of the fun.
Related Guide
Solo Play for Men: Beyond the Basics
Practical ways to move past the same rushed routine and bring more variety into male solo pleasure.
Different stroking styles and positions
How edging changes the build-up
Ideas for full-body stimulation
Male toys that provide genuinely different sensations
7. Make Comfort, Lubricant and Toy Care Part of the Routine
Stay comfortable • Protect your toys • Clean up properly
The practical side of solo play is not particularly sexy, but neither is stopping halfway through because the lubricant is in another room or your favourite toy still needs cleaning.
Comfort comes first
Begin with lower settings and give your body time to warm up. A strong sensation can feel exciting, but sharp pain, burning or numbness is a reason to stop and check what is causing it.
Use the right lubricant
Water-based lubricant is compatible with most toy materials and condoms, making it the easiest general choice. Check the toy instructions before using silicone-based lubricant, as it may affect some silicone toys.
Clean according to the instructions
Many non-motorised toys can be washed with warm water and mild unscented soap. Powered toys need more care, so check if the product is waterproof, water-resistant or should only be wiped clean.
Let toys dry before storage
Dry each toy fully and keep it somewhere clean. Storing different materials separately can prevent surface damage, and a storage pouch helps keep dust and drawer fluff away.
Make the next session easier: Clean the toy, recharge it and return the lubricant to the bedside drawer after use. Future you will be grateful, especially when the battery warning light is not invited.
Self-Love September at Adultsmart
New sensations • Better choices • Pleasure without pressure
Adultsmart’s Self-Love September is a good reason to check what is currently hiding in your bedside drawer. Maybe you are buying your first toy, replacing an old favourite or looking for something that feels completely different from what you already own.
A bigger motor or a longer list of settings does not automatically make one toy better than another. Think about the body area you want to stimulate, the strength you enjoy and how much effort you want to put into holding or positioning it.
Before choosing, ask yourself:
Do I want gentle stimulation or something more intense?
Would I prefer vibration, air-pulse, stroking, rotation or thrusting?
Do I want to hold the toy or use it hands-free?
Will noise, storage or travel size matter?
Is the toy material compatible with the lubricant I use?
Buy for your body, not the product box: The right toy is the one that suits your preferred sensation, comfort level and routine. It does not need 37 patterns and a control panel that looks ready to launch a satellite.
Check Out The Self-Love September Sale now!
Frequently Asked Questions
What is Self-Love September?
Self-Love September is a month focused on making time for personal pleasure, body confidence and solo sexual wellness. It is a chance to slow down, try something different and pay attention to what genuinely feels good for you.
How can I take part in Self-Love September?
You can set aside some uninterrupted private time, change part of your usual routine or try a new type of stimulation. It does not need to involve a big purchase or a carefully planned evening.
Do I need a sex toy to practise solo sexual wellness?
No. Toys can add different sensations, but they are completely optional. Hands, imagination and enough privacy are already a perfectly good starting point.
What is a good first toy for solo play?
A small external vibrator is a common first choice because it is simple to control and can be used across different body areas. The best option still depends on the kind of stimulation you enjoy and the body area you want to focus on.
Can people in relationships take part in Self-Love September?
Yes. Solo pleasure is not limited to single people. Private time can help you understand your preferences, enjoy pleasure without performance pressure and communicate more clearly with a partner.
Rick
Meet Rick, Adultsmart’s owner with 35+ years in the adult industry. A sex blogger, advocate for gender and sexuality equality, offering a diverse product range.
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Leave a Reply