One question that normally comes up when we sexually compare ourselves to other people is “Am I good enough?” This question can impact all areas within someone’s life. Including their career, hobbies, personal contributions to the community, financial success and sexual performance. It is asked to form an opinion that impacts feelings of self-worth, self-image, self-confidence and your sexual ego.
This question can impact us quite deeply. Especially when we criticise other areas of our sexual lifestyle.
Two of the most influential factors of how we feel about sex, is the way our body looks and how we sexually perform.
Psychotherapist and Certified Sex Therapist Gila Shapiro Says
“Our bodies house our sexuality — it is through the body, essentially, that sexuality finds expression. So being aware of just how we feel about our bodies, is revealing.
Of course, the way we see our body is highly influenced by magazines, billboards, TV and web ads that offer us idealized images of what our bodies ‘should’ look like, even though these images have little relationship to what most of us actually do look like.”
Sexual Ego
Other ways our sexual ego is impacted is the amount of affirmation we receive from other people. As well as, when we compare our personality to what society views as important.
For example, men may feel they have to be masculine and confident to attract people. Women may feel they need to be sultry to feel sexually confident.
Although ego can be a burden that leads us to criticise ourselves, having an ego is important. It provides the motivational reason for people to aspire to be a better version of themselves.
Letting go of a negative sexual ego can give you the confidence to discuss new ways to explore your sexual personality. Try new sex positions and experiment with sex toys that can enhance your sexual lifestyle.
Easy Techniques to Help Manage Your Ego
It is a good idea to implement some of these easy techniques to help manage your ego. With time you will be able to manage your personal thoughts and how you choose to respond to circumstances in your life.
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Don’t compare yourself to other people
Everyone is built differently. Something which may work for one person, may not work well for another. You will need to set personal goals that are realistic to find out what works best for you and your partner.
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Focus on the journey
Your sexual experiences can be more enjoyable if you take your time to enjoy the moment. And perform to the best of your ability rather than worrying about the outcome.
If you do experience setbacks look at them as an inspirational challenge to be a better lover. Sometimes setbacks can help us define what our realistic expectations should be.
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Find honest opinions
Ask for honest opinions about your sexual skills. You may need to ask your current partner, an ex-girlfriend or a former lover. Ensure the person you will ask you has had sexual experiences with you in the last 2 to 3 years as your skill set can drastically change between times.
Question you may ask include; Were their sexual needs fulfilled? What did they enjoy the most? Or how could you improve your sexual skills?
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Ask your partner what they need from you
When we get so involved with performing to the best of your ability. Take a step back and listen to your partner’s needs. Your partner may be asking you to spend more time creating a passionate connection.
You may be busy trying to make her/him orgasm to your hearts content but is that what they actually want from you at that time? Compromise with what your partner needs in the bedroom.
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Improve your self-esteem
Find ways to enhance your self-esteem. There are many other things within your life that make up who you are. Have a look at your personal traits and understand how they positively impact your life. Maybe you are emotionally connected with your feelings or you’re great at socialising. To build your self-esteem, you can take your time to pick two hobbies that you enjoy to build new skill sets.
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Don’t blame yourself
Blame achieves nothing. You can always take steps to improve your sexual lifestyle.
Sex in Space – It’s Intergalactic!
Intergalactic intercourse. Copulating in the cosmos. Who wouldn’t want to join the 62 Mile high club? Is it even possible to have sex in space and most interestingly, has anyone ever tried it? I have a fascination for all things futuristic and these questions make me very curious.
It’s not just me. I am not the only one interested in this stuff. Ever since films like Moonraker showed a suspended James Bond seemingly floating around in a space ship having sex, people have loved the idea.
There was a recent crowd funding project by Porn Hub which almost got off the ground. Raising over $250 000 towards making a movie about sex in space, project ‘sexploration’.
Project Sexploration
They approached various private spaceflight companies but to no avail. Virgin Galactic were offered 1 million to let two people have sex on board their craft but politely declined.
Although no porn has been filmed in space there is a movie called “The Uranus Experiment Part 2” which filmed a zero gravity sex scene in a plane. (You know, when they fly a plane really high and then let it free fall).
Apparently it was a logistical nightmare and the couple only had 20 seconds to get the shot due to the cost of the whole process.
Sex in Space – Has it Happened?
A lot of people presume sex in space must have happened because there have been so many manned mixed sex trips into orbit and into space.
As far as anyone knows it hasn’t happened yet. NASA completely denies it. There was a famous very convincing hoax that still does the rounds today. It was about a couple who were supposedly commissioned by Nasa to do a study on sexual positions in space.
People thought ‘The study’ cited in the book ‘The Mission’ was a real study. A document, which could be found on the internet apparently concluded only 3 of 10 positions were possible. Missionary position was not one of them. It also claimed you would need straps harnesses and a sleeping bag like tube to make it successful.
Well I could have told you that.
I find it hard to believe that NASA aren’t studying this with gusto.
There is no doubt in the future we are going to have to find ways to populate places other than Earth. What is the point of any space exploration if we aren’t able to find ways to reproduce once we are there?
Science tells us that there are going to be problems having sex at a most basic level. Without gravity once a couple are attached to each other when they push against each other they will fly off in opposite directions. Like skaters on ice, they just keep on going drifting into everything.
Blood pressure is much lower and that isn’t good news for erections.
Then there are the sweat and fluids that occur during sex. Gravity would pool them all into big horrible floating globules that you wouldn’t much want to drift into. Cleaning up would be a nightmare. There is no doubt there will be difficulties, but it is possible.
Producing babies may be a different matter.
We have spent millions of years evolving in world with gravity. Bones and muscles exist because of gravity. That is why astronauts have to be so vigilant about exercising in space.
It looks like we may end up giving birth to real life jelly babies!
There is also too much radiation in space for creating life.
They would have to find a way to counter that. NASA have so far done experiments with rats and mice up in the space station, with varied successes. Rats could mate ok. They even produced a foetus that survived once back on earth, but not in zero gravity.
Rats raised in zero gravity couldn’t stay the right way up. So we humans would probably end up with jelly babies that just rolled around randomly bumping into balls of bodily fluids. Yuck.
As of 2009 NASA has been planning long term missions for space colonisation.
There are many more factors to consider aside from the physics of the act itself. Not least of all the psychological factors. There is the fact that there isn’t room for big crews on board the current vessels and stations. And those few people can be together for a very long time, relying on each other for each other’s survival in an extremely hostile environment.
Throw sex into the mix and there are bound to be extra emotions involved. Then there is the close proximity and the isolation, which would take their toll on any individual let alone a relationship.
Gravity Chambers for Sex
There is work currently being done on creating gravity chambers but they would be very small. That is great for sex, but not so good for 9 months of pregnancy.
There is also work being done on creating a garment that astronauts could wear that would make low-effort intimacy possible. Whatever inventions are in the pipeline someone is eventually going to have to come up with a way for us to have space sex.
Even Steven Hawking himself said the very survival of the human race will probably depend on our discovering ways to survive the harsh and extreme environments of space. And that man knows what he is talking about.
How Do I Recover After A Breakup?
Breakups are a touchy subject, especially when you are under 25 and you feel like without that special person, your whole world is going to crash and burn. They took your heart, ripped it up and you over dramatize that you will never recover after a breakup. You continue to quote Tupac by telling the world through social media that “it’s my destiny to be lonely” and stay at home and eat junk or drink because it eases the pain.
Really it actually doesn’t ease the pain, it actually just fuels your self-pity and deters you from acknowledging the fact that you are in complete control of how you feel. Not saying you can’t have your sad moment and your time to mourn, but be an active mourner. You should take this crippling heartache and turn it into a motivating factor to really grab life by the reigns and take charge.
Whilst you are reading this, just know that I am in a loving and healthy relationship which took me 5 years to manifest. However, when the chips were down and all I wanted was salsa, I told myself that the only way that I will get over the heartache was going through was to stick to a few simple rules. These rules not only helped me find the love of my life, but they made me. They made me a much stronger, wittier, healthier, cunning, and confident member of society.
True Love Will Come To You
Here’s the thing, everyone is looking for love but the ones who find it are the ones who aren’t searching for it. The ones who are so engulfed with their own personal development, self love and growth. They are focused on going out and having fun, not going out and finding love or getting laid. If you follow these very simple habits and tips that I am going to forcefully give you below, not only will your life improve dramatically but the chances of you bouncing back and finding love or even just fun and companionship will sky rocket.
Let’s get you on a bigger comeback then Tyga’s breakup with Kylie. I mean this man survived what no man before him has… a Kardashian breakup.
1. MIND OVER EVERYTHING.
The biggest thing to do is accept the fact that the relationship is now in the past. Don’t hold any resentment, negative feelings or hurt towards it. There is no point holding onto something that you can no longer control, this just drains your emotional energy and does nothing for you. Instead, thank the universe for allowing you to have the time and the fun moments with that person (if it was toxic, thank the universe for removing that person from your life).
Tell yourself that you are no longer going to hold onto any resentment, instead you choose to have a growth mindset, be grateful for every aspect of life (including the bad) and you welcome all positives to flow abundantly into your life.
2. PLAN YOUR REINVENTION.
Sometimes when your down in the dumps and all you can think about the past, the best thing to do is to look forward and think about your future. Take the time to breath, sit down and start re-writing your goals for your work life, fitness and well-being and relationships. Plot out who you want to be in the next year and what you need to do to become that person.
Break your goals into smaller milestones to make them more achievable and track your progress regularly. Create a vision board or write affirmations to keep yourself inspired and focused. Reflect on your strengths and identify areas where you can improve. Seek advice from mentors, friends, or online resources to guide your reinvention process. Reward yourself for small victories along the way to stay motivated. Reinvention is a journey of self-discovery, so embrace the process with patience and dedication. Every small step brings you closer to becoming the person you aspire to be.
3. PRIORITIZE YOUR APPEARANCE.
Go and get a haircut, sign up at the gym, chuck out all your junk in the pantry and go and get some new clothes. You can trick your mind into thinking your in a more confident place by dressing and feeling the part. You’ll be walking down the street in 6 months and your ex will turn around and say “Oh fuck you look good”.
Enhancing your appearance doesn’t just boost your confidence—it also improves your mental well-being. Self-care sends a powerful message to yourself that you are worth the effort. Invest in skincare, experiment with a new style, or upgrade your wardrobe with timeless pieces.
Feeling good about how you look can positively affect how you carry yourself and interact with others. Remember, this isn’t about impressing anyone else but about embracing the best version of yourself. Confidence is contagious, and prioritizing your appearance can lead to better opportunities in all aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional endeavors.
4. BUILD FRIENDSHIPS THAT POSITIVELY AFFECT YOU.
You are who you hang out with. If you hang out with bums, you’ll become a bum. If you hang out with fun, enthusiastic and optimistic people, you will most likely become like them. This is your support system. You want to be around people that push you and motivate you to be better, not drag you down to the dumps.
5. DON’T STALK THEIR OR THEIR FRIENDS SOCIAL MEDIA OR BAD MOUTH THEM!
This is a big one. You don’t want to hold onto negative thoughts and constantly thinking if they have moved on or not. Refer back to point 1. Keep your mind positive and focused on yourself. You will soon forget about them because you are so engulfed in your own growth. No one likes the person who constantly bad mouths their ex or talks down of them. Don’t speak about them all.
6. GO FULL THROTTLE WITH LIFE.
Don’t hold back on going out. Focus on chasing the job you want or the career path. Don’t leave any juice in the tank. Go outside of your comfort zone and try things that you normally wouldn’t… chicken feet, sashimi, Korean food, that new restaurant down the road, anal, you know all the crazy stuff!
7. Go TO THE GYM!
This one is pretty simple, even 3 workouts a week will do wonders for you life.
It’s not just about lifting weights—fitness is about finding activities you genuinely enjoy and benefit from. Whether it’s yoga, cardio, group classes, or sports, the gym offers endless opportunities to explore your interests. Just three workouts a week can transform your mental and physical health.
Yoga improves flexibility and reduces stress, while cardio strengthens your heart and endurance. Sports add a fun, social element to your fitness journey. Enjoying your workout makes it easier to stay consistent and motivated. Rebuild your body, mind, and confidence by choosing activities that inspire you—your future self will thank you!
Use This Information To Overcome And Improve!
By using these simple 7 tips, you’ll be on your way to getting over your break up in no time!
Breakups are tough, but they’re also an opportunity to redefine your life. Trust me, you have the power to turn heartache into a fresh start. Focus on self-improvement, build strong friendships, and leave resentment behind. Reinvent yourself with new goals, hit the gym, and surround yourself with positivity. Don’t waste energy stalking your ex—invest that time in your growth. Life’s too short to stay stuck. With these steps, you’ll bounce back stronger, more confident, and ready for whatever comes next. Remember, your best days are ahead—embrace them fully.
AJ is a consultant at the Oh Zone Stores and is available to help with your adult needs.
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