Sex is no longer just about procreation; it’s about pleasure, exploration, and breaking boundaries. For many, it’s a way to discover new aspects of their sexuality and enjoy intimate connections with their partners. One of those fantasies is definitely a strapon dating experience. While often associated with lesbian couples, strapon play is becoming a favorite for heterosexual couples as well. Some men enjoy stepping into the role traditionally associated with women, finding it both thrilling and liberating. To help you dive into this fascinating realm, we’ve compiled the ultimate strapon sex guide, including tips and the best positions to try with your partner.
Backdoor Man Position
The Backdoor Man position is perfect for beginners exploring strapon play, offering comfort and control for both partners. In this position, you’ll sit on the edge of your bed wearing a strapon dildo, while your partner faces you and sits gently on your lap. This position allows him to control the depth and pace of penetration, ensuring a pleasurable and comfortable experience.
The key to making this position enjoyable is preparation. Use plenty of high-quality lubricant to reduce friction and enhance comfort. Begin by communicating with your partner about their boundaries and preferences, ensuring trust and mutual consent. As your partner lowers themselves onto the strapon, take it slow and allow them to adjust to the sensation.
To enhance the experience, incorporate additional stimulation. While your partner is seated, use your hands to pleasure them with a hand job or gentle caresses. This dual stimulation creates an intensely intimate and exciting dynamic.
Reverse Cowgirl…Sorry, Cowboy
The Reverse Cowboy position is a fun twist on the classic cowgirl position, ideal for partners who enjoy visual stimulation and experimenting with angles. In this position, your partner sits facing away from you while riding your strapon, giving you a fantastic view of their backside. It’s a perfect choice for those who appreciate a partner’s rear and want a playful, intimate experience.
To get started, sit comfortably on a sturdy surface, such as a chair, bed edge, or couch. Strap on your dildo securely, ensuring it’s adjusted tightly enough to stay in place during movement. Proper attachment is crucial in this position, as the angle of penetration changes with your partner leaning forward slightly.
Before starting, apply plenty of lubricant to the dildo and your partner to ensure a smooth and comfortable experience. As your partner lowers themselves onto the strapon, let them set the pace to control the depth and rhythm. This position allows you to use your hands freely, either to hold your partner’s hips, explore their body, or offer extra stimulation.
Doggy Style
Doggy style is a timeless classic and one of the most popular positions for couples, cherished for its deep penetration and sense of intimacy. With a strapon dildo, this position takes on a fresh twist, allowing you to switch roles and experience an empowering dynamic. Whether you’re exploring dominance, curiosity, or simply trying something new, doggy style with a strapon can be exhilarating for both partners.
To start, ensure you’ve adjusted the strapon securely for comfort and optimal control. Apply a generous amount of lubricant to your partner and the dildo to ensure smooth penetration. Have your partner position themselves on all fours, with their knees and hands firmly planted for stability. This angle provides deep, pleasurable penetration and allows you to take the lead.
Once you’re in position, ease into the experience by starting slow. Gradually increase the rhythm and intensity, keeping communication open to ensure your partner’s comfort and enjoyment. To enhance the experience, use your free hand to stimulate your partner, such as a hand job or gentle caresses on their body. This combination of sensations creates an unforgettable experience for both of you.
Boyfriend on His Back
The Boyfriend on His Back position is an intimate variation of the missionary style, tailored perfectly for strapon play. This position allows you to explore a deeper connection with your partner while keeping an eye on his physical reactions. It’s an excellent way to discover what turns him on while enjoying a close and loving dynamic.
To set up, have your partner lie comfortably on his back. Gently lift his legs, either resting them on your shoulders or holding them for support. Secure your strapon firmly and use plenty of lubricant to ensure smooth penetration. This position provides you with full control of the angle and depth, making it ideal for couples new to strapon exploration.
One of the benefits of this position is the opportunity for visual and physical feedback. You can watch your partner’s body language and observe what brings him the most pleasure. Use your hands to caress his body or stroke his penis, combining penetration with additional stimulation. This dual approach will heighten his experience and bring you closer as a couple.
Standing Behind Your Boyfriend
The Standing Behind Your Boyfriend position is a thrilling variation of doggy style with an exciting twist. This position brings a sense of dominance and trust, making it perfect for partners who want to explore a more submissive role dynamic. It’s not only about the fun—it’s also a fantastic way to stimulate the P-spot, providing your partner with an intense and unforgettable experience.
To begin, have your partner stand near a sturdy surface, like a table or countertop. Gently guide him to bend forward and support himself on the surface with his elbows. For added comfort, place cushions under his elbows or arms. Strap on your dildo securely and apply plenty of high-quality lubricant for smooth and enjoyable penetration.
Standing behind him gives you complete control over the angle and depth, ensuring you can reach the prostate (P-spot) with ease. Start with slow, gentle thrusts, paying close attention to his body language and responses. As you gain confidence, gradually increase the rhythm to maximize pleasure. This position also gives you a free hand for additional stimulation, such as caressing his body or reaching around for a sensual touch.
The Standing Behind position’s combination of dominance, trust, and P-spot stimulation often makes it a favorite for partners exploring strapon play. Your partner will likely discover just how powerful and pleasurable this dynamic can be.
Boyfriend on His Belly
The Boyfriend on His Belly position is a gentle, comforting option for strapon play, perfect for partners who value intimacy and relaxation. This position is ideal if your partner doesn’t enjoy being on their knees or bending over, as it allows them to fully relax while lying flat. It’s a comfortable yet deeply sensual experience for both partners.
To start, have your boyfriend lie flat on his stomach on a soft surface, such as a bed. Begin with a slow, erotic massage to relax him and build anticipation. Use your hands to caress his back, buttocks, and thighs, gradually shifting focus to his anus. Add lubricant generously as you prepare for penetration, ensuring everything feels smooth and pleasurable.
Once he’s ready, position yourself behind him and gently enter. Firmly grip his lower back or hips to maintain control over your movements and the penetration angle. This grip not only improves your thrusting but also provides stability for both of you. If you wish to heighten the intimacy, lower your body onto his back, allowing you to cuddle and kiss him during the experience.
Strapon FAQs To Help You!
How do I introduce strapon play to my partner if they’ve never tried it before?
Introducing strapon play to your partner begins with open, honest communication. Choose a relaxed, private setting and express your curiosity about exploring this together. Focus on how it can enhance intimacy, pleasure, and trust in your relationship. Emphasize that this is about mutual exploration, and listen to their thoughts, concerns, or boundaries. Starting with non-intimidating, beginner-friendly positions like Boyfriend on His Back or Backdoor Man can make the experience more comfortable. Take your time, use plenty of lubrication, and prioritize consent and ongoing communication throughout.
What’s the best type of strapon dildo for beginners?
Beginners should choose a strapon dildo that’s slim, smooth, and not overly rigid. Silicone dildos are an excellent choice because of their body-safe material, easy cleaning, and realistic texture. A harness with adjustable straps ensures a snug fit, improving control and reducing discomfort. Opt for a beginner-friendly kit with dildos of varying sizes so you can progress at your own pace. Some kits even include double-ended options for shared stimulation, which can enhance the experience for both partners.
How can I make strapon sex more pleasurable for my partner?
To maximize your partner’s pleasure, focus on preparation and understanding their preferences. Take the time to explore their body with massages or foreplay, and communicate openly about what feels good for them. Use plenty of lubricant to ensure smooth penetration, and experiment with angles and positions that stimulate the prostate (P-spot), such as Doggy Style or Standing Behind Your Boyfriend. Adding external stimulation, like a hand job or using a vibrator on their body, can elevate their experience further.
What should I do if the strapon feels uncomfortable to wear during sex?
Discomfort when wearing a strapon is often due to improper adjustment or poor-quality harnesses. Make sure the harness is fitted snugly, but not too tight. Adjust the straps evenly to keep the dildo in place without slipping or causing pressure points. Some harnesses come with padding or reinforced straps for extra comfort during extended play. If the discomfort persists, explore other harness styles, like jockstrap-style harnesses, or experiment with positions that reduce strain on your body.
Are there safety tips I should follow during strapon sex?
Safety is essential for an enjoyable strapon experience. Always use a high-quality lubricant to prevent discomfort or irritation during penetration. Start slow, and communicate with your partner to ensure they feel comfortable at every stage. Ensure the dildo and harness are clean before and after use to maintain hygiene. If your partner experiences pain or discomfort, stop immediately and adjust your approach or position. Remember, strapon play is about mutual pleasure, so prioritize consent and safety throughout.
How can I clean and care for my strapon dildo and harness?
Proper cleaning is crucial for maintaining hygiene and extending the life of your gear. Silicone dildos can usually be cleaned with warm water, mild soap, or a dedicated toy cleaner. For extra sanitation, boil silicone dildos (if the manufacturer recommends it). Clean the harness according to its material—most fabric harnesses are hand-washable, while leather harnesses require special leather cleaners. Allow all components to dry completely before storing them in a cool, dry place to prevent damage or bacterial growth.
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