What’s The Deal With Bodily Fluids?
Does anybody remember the Sex & the City episode where Samantha is sleeping with a man who has, as she so eloquently puts it, “the funkiest tasting spunk?” What is the deal with bodily fluids? Or again the scene in There’s Something About Mary where Ben Stiller’s character has his semen dangling from his ear when met to go on a date with Cameron Diaz – who then uses it as hair gel?
Why Are Bodily Fluids Portrayed Negatively In Media?
I also recall a scene in Superbad where one of the characters is dancing with a girl who is menstruating and is completely disgusted when he gets her blood on his pants. There seems to be a bit of a fascination present in popular culture with bodily fluids, and it’s mostly portrayed in a comedic way that sees semen, blood or vaginal fluids as something to be repulsed by.
Without trying to sound too dramatic or serious, I feel that showing bodily fluids as something unnatural to be avoided doesn’t do much good for people when it comes to their sex lives. I feel this because, quite simply, there’s no avoiding some form of bodily fluids in one way or another when being sexual with someone.
Don’t Be Ashamed About Your Body
If having sex is accompanied with something that we have been taught to be grossed out by then whether we are conscious of it or not, there’s a part of us that is grossed out during sex. The same thing can be said for smell as this is something that many people go to extreme measures to attempt to cover up and conceal.
Many of us carry so much shame when it comes to the way we smell and taste. We are sold products that promise to eradicate all our smells and keep us “clean”. From deodorants and perfumes to scented feminine hygiene products & genital cleansers, we are constantly inundated with the message that something about our bodily functions is wrong and to be avoided.
Bodily Fluids Are Helpful For Your Body
Five reasons why bodily fluids are helpful:
- Natural Lubrication: Bodily fluids provide essential lubrication during sexual activities, enhancing comfort and pleasure for both partners.
- Health Indicators: Changes in bodily fluids can indicate health issues, prompting timely medical consultations and interventions.
- Pheromone Communication: Bodily fluids carry pheromones, which can influence attraction and bonding between partners.
- Waste Removal: Bodily fluids, like sweat and urine, help remove toxins from the body, maintaining internal health.
- Immune Function: Saliva and mucus contain enzymes and antibodies that protect against infections and promote overall health.
Stay Hygienic But Realistic
Talking with lots of people over the years all from a range of different backgrounds, I have come to see that many people carry some very negative feelings when it comes to their own or another’s fluids and smells. Many women are disgusted to kiss their partner after he goes down on them, many men claim to avoid kissing their partner if she has taken his cum in her mouth, and almost no one enjoys performing cunnilingus on a menstruating woman.
I understand that this aversion may be for legitimate reasons when risk is involved (i.e. sexual health reasons) however with our most intimate partners when safety is guaranteed, I believe that it can be healthy to overcome this aversion.
Can Pheromones Affect Humans?
When it comes down to it, we humans are animals and have instinctual primal tendencies that dictate our sexual behaviours and attractions. Pheromones are chemical messengers that are emitted into the environment from the body where they can then activate specific physiological or behavioural responses in other individuals.
Whether we are aware of it or not, these pheromones can be what innately attracts us to our partner so for this reason, I say enjoy the tastes & smells as it can be an incredibly sexy bonding experience.
Explore Yourself
Just like I would encourage people to become familiar with solo self-pleasuring to get to know their own body before being intimate with someone else, I suggest that people give their own bodily fluids a try. Tasting your cum does not make you “gay” gentlemen (as I have heard many times from many men) and you are not going to be harmed from kissing your partner after he performs cunnilingus on you ladies.
It is an interesting thing to notice how people are often ok for their partners to swallow their cum or lick their pussies yet are not ok with the taste themselves. I recommend looking deeper into these aversions and questioning whether it may be something you wish to overcome because nothing compares to having a partner who loves the way you taste & smell!
Safety And Sexual Health Is Vital
I would not be a responsible sexual health educator, sexologist and sex blogger if I didn’t discuss safety & sexual health in the same article as discussing getting comfortable with bodily fluids so here goes. Sexual health screening is vital to ensure effective treatment and/or reduced rates of transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STI’s) & blood borne viruses (BBV’s).
Certain contact with bodily fluids such as semen, vaginal secretions and blood can lead to transmission of some STI’s and BBV’s. Fluid bonding (i.e. sharing bodily fluids) in relationships between people who are known to be STI & BBV free means risks are significantly reduced however it is important to remember that exchanging bodily fluids with someone who’s sexual health status is not known carries risks.
Are You Following Safe Sex Steps?
Exercise caution and use safe sex prevention such as dams and condoms when sexual health status is unknown. (See below for link to sexual health services).
It is so interesting to see how conditioned us humans have become believing that something about our natural state is dirty. When safety and health are prioritized above all else, I say abandon the belief that our bodily fluids are something to be ashamed of and embrace the magnificence of all that our body does!
Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing
What Is Fluid Bonding?
Fluid Bonding is a term that is gaining more traction in today’s society alongside polyamory, open relationships and consent. So what does it mean?
Fluid bonding is the intentional decision between parties/people where they decide to share bodily fluids. This decision can be made for many reasons ranging from person to person and it is important to have these conversations as to why to ensure that you and the people/s are on the same page. Some of the reasons may be for emotional connection, serious involvement, a step in a relationship, ownership, BDSM or fetish.
You Must Be Prepared And Safe When Doing This!
Fluid bonding is a serious subject because sharing body fluids comes at great risk. Bodily fluids such as saliva, semen, vaginal discharge and blood can carry STIs and diseases that can be harmful when spread.
Fluid Bonding is not a term thrown around for once offs, it is an ongoing commitment. Some Fluid bonded relationships are still open outside of their fluid bonded relationship but that means that any and all play is protected from start to finish and will require testing to ensure that everyone is safe.
It Is Built On Trust And Transparency Of One’s Health
Fluid Bonding is built on a basis of trust and open transparency upon past sexual health and future sexual health and testing. Discussing these may be difficult or uncomfortable but it is very necessary to protect everyone involved.
How Do I Get Started?
When making the decision to become Fluid Bonded, it is important to sit down and discuss why you would like to become fluid bonded, what it means to each of you. Then it is important to get tested either together or separately but to share those test results with each other. Communication and complete transparency regarding this and if you have had any STIs in the past is necessary for the safety of each other moving forward.
Work out if you are closed or open and how you will mitigate testing in the future. If you will be sharing partners, it’s important to know how to protect yourselves not just yourself. If you have more than one partner or are in a fluid bonded polyamorous relationship ensure that everyone is aware of the risks and discuss getting tested regularly to keep everyone safe and on the same page.
Look At Contraception Options
Another discussion point for hetero-sexual partners is to discuss further contraception option if children are not immediately wanted, or wanted at all.
Fluid bonding like consent can always be ended or retracted. If there is moment, or something that makes you feel uncomfortable you are always within your rights to ask to reinstate using barriers during intercourse
Fluid Bonding: A Deep Trust and Intimacy Practice
Fluid bonding is the intentional decision to forgo barrier protection, like condoms or dental dams, during sex. This act signifies deep trust and intimacy between partners. However, it comes with responsibilities to ensure the health and safety of both individuals.
Establish Trust Through Testing
Before fluid bonding, both partners should undergo comprehensive STI testing. This includes tests for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, and hepatitis. Make sure to discuss the results openly and honestly, including any past or potential risks. Regular follow-up testing is also essential, even in committed relationships.
Maintain Clear Communication
Have open conversations about sexual health, past behaviors, and expectations. Discuss whether either partner has other sexual partners and agree on boundaries to minimize risks. Clear communication fosters understanding and strengthens trust.
Practice Safe and Healthy Habits
Even in fluid-bonded relationships, maintaining sexual health is crucial. This includes regular health check-ups, vaccinations (like HPV and hepatitis B), and prompt treatment of any infections or conditions that arise.
Understand the Risks and Responsibilities
Fluid bonding increases vulnerability to STIs and pregnancy. Both partners must acknowledge these risks and remain committed to prioritizing each other’s health. For non-monogamous individuals, mutual agreements and regular testing are essential to prevent transmission.
Fluid bonding can deepen intimacy and connection when approached responsibly. By prioritizing trust, communication, and health, partners can enjoy this experience safely and respectfully.
Wrapping Up:
How to Check Your Sexual Health
Maintaining your sexual health is essential for overall well-being. Regular check-ups, awareness of your body, and open communication with healthcare professionals are vital steps. Here’s how you can proactively manage your sexual health:
- Schedule Regular Screenings
Visit a healthcare provider annually or more frequently if you’re sexually active. Routine tests for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV are crucial. Your doctor will recommend tests based on your sexual activity, risk factors, and overall health. - Monitor Your Body
Pay attention to changes in your body, such as unusual discharge, itching, sores, or pain. These symptoms may indicate an STI or other health concerns. Early detection leads to effective treatment, so don’t delay seeking medical advice. - Practice Safe Sex
Using condoms and dental dams reduces the risk of STIs. If you or your partner have multiple partners, consider pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) for HIV prevention. - Vaccinate
Protect yourself against preventable infections like HPV and hepatitis B by staying up-to-date with vaccinations. Consult your doctor about what’s appropriate for you. - Communicate
Discuss sexual health openly with partners. Knowing each other’s sexual history and STI status fosters trust and safety.
By actively managing your sexual health, you protect yourself and your partners.
Other Fetishes
Fetishes similar to fluid bonding often revolve around trust, intimacy, and the exchange of bodily fluids or other natural elements of the body. These fetishes typically involve heightened emotional and physical connections, along with specific consent and safety considerations. Here are some related fetishes:
- Edgeplay
Edgeplay involves activities that test boundaries, whether physical, emotional, or psychological. Similar to fluid bonding, it emphasizes trust and clear communication between participants. - Bloodplay
This fetish involves the controlled exchange or use of blood in a consensual context. Safety precautions, including sterilized tools and discussions about health status, are crucial. - Risk-aware consensual kink (RACK)
RACK encompasses fetishes that involve calculated risks, including fluid exchange. Practitioners prioritize informed consent and mitigation of potential harm. - Breeding Fetish
This involves roleplay or actual risk-taking related to conception. Like fluid bonding, it emphasizes the unprotected exchange of fluids, often with psychological elements tied to procreation. - Golden Showers (Urophilia)
This fetish involves the consensual exchange of urine, highlighting a similar dynamic of vulnerability, trust, and intimate fluid exchange. - Cumplay
This focuses on the visible exchange or use of semen during sexual activities, often tied to the idea of intimacy and fluid exchange. - Sweat Fetish (Osmolagnia)
This fetish involves arousal from sweat, valuing the natural bodily fluids exchanged during physical closeness.
10 FAQs About Fluid Bonding
1. What is fluid bonding?
Fluid bonding is the consensual exchange of bodily fluids during intimate activities, often as part of a committed relationship.
2. Why do people choose fluid bonding?
People may choose fluid bonding to enhance intimacy, trust, or emotional connection with a partner.
3. Is fluid bonding safe?
Fluid bonding carries risks, such as STIs and unintended pregnancies, but proper testing and preventive measures can reduce these risks.
4. What should I consider before fluid bonding?
Discuss health histories, STI testing, contraception, and mutual expectations with your partner before deciding on fluid bonding.
5. Can fluid bonding happen in non-monogamous relationships?
Yes, but it requires clear communication, regular testing, and agreements to minimize health risks among all partners.
6. How often should partners test for STIs?
Partners should test before fluid bonding and at regular intervals, especially if they have other sexual partners.
7. Does fluid bonding mean not using condoms?
Yes, fluid bonding typically involves forgoing barrier methods, but this decision should be mutual and informed.
8. Is fluid bonding reversible?
You can return to using barrier methods at any time if circumstances or agreements change.
9. Are there emotional risks to fluid bonding?
Fluid bonding can deepen intimacy, but it may also heighten emotional vulnerability if trust is broken.
10. How can I prepare for fluid bonding?
Preparation involves open communication, medical check-ups, understanding risks, and establishing boundaries with your partner.
My Final Thoughts:
A note about Precum:
Precum can still carry bacteria, viruses and sexually transmitted diseases and still contract sexually transmitted diseases. Any and all play involving PIV (penis in Vagina) or PIA (penis in anus) or PIM (penis in mouth) should use a condom if you are not fluid bonded with another person to minimise the risk of transferable diseases and cleanliness.
Fluid bonding is a deeply intimate and personal choice that requires careful thought, trust, and open communication. It’s essential to prioritize health and safety by discussing boundaries, undergoing regular testing, and being transparent about any concerns. Fluid bonding is not just about the act itself but the commitment to mutual care and respect. Always remember that you can change or revoke the arrangement at any time to feel safe and secure in your relationships. Your health and comfort should always come first.
At Your Service
Tiffany
Caringbah Oh Zone Adult Shop Sale assistant, Educator and Safe Sex Advocate
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