Unsurprisingly we get a lot of very open-minded people coming into our sex toy stores. We are lucky enough to get chatting about the most interesting things. I have got into many conversations about sex party experience and holidays with people who are in store buying costumes.
Sex toys and lingerie for events. If I think boundaries are down in our shop then going to one of these events takes that to a whole other level.
Everyone who works here will have been asked the same old questions.
Why do you work here? what’s it like working in a sex shop. Do you get many weirdos? I always say the same thing. “I love it, it is so much more than a sales job. Because you are dealing with a subject which is so much a personal part of us all.” It immediately gives us a connection.
The subject matter alone breaks down the barrier between us and our customers. It wouldn’t happen if we were selling washing machines. We are privileged to know people in a far less superficial way than we do with most others we meet on a day-to-day basis.
Sex Party Experience in LA
I have actually been to a couple of parties a long time ago in LA. Not really intentional. A friend and I just ended up there.
It was a wild end to a wild night. It wasn’t something I would personally get into. But it was a lifestyle choice for some of the people I was friends with. Ever since then I have found it fascinating. I am intrigued about the type of people who go there and whether the fantasy matches the reality.
It goes without saying that you have to be pretty open-minded and non judgmental.
The friend I was with was neither of these. She found the whole experience quite awful, feeling that just being there had crossed her boundaries. We just happened upon ours. But if you were going to a planned one with a partner, then boundaries are the most important thing to think about.
Most of the sex parties out there will have rules to follow and you should have some of your own set too. Most of the people I have met in store have had rules about how far they can go with other people and with whom, they have codes and safe words if one is unhappy with anything.
The most important rule you should have is that what ever happens once you are there and passions are running high is stick to the rules. If you are a couple, then it’s probably not a good idea to go solo to parties, even if you were both in the lifestyle before you met.
It can be pretty intimidating for obvious reasons
I doubt many people go to their first one with no reservations. Women can go alone and will find that they are encouraged and highly valued.
In most parties the women call the shots. Even so, I think it wise for a first-timer to either go with someone or ensure in advance that they know someone there to chat with, even if it’s just the organizer of the sex party.
Try to get chatting to someone online before hand if its possible. Go armed with a sense of humour, with your own lubrication, some sex toys, underwear and protection. You should never rely on a third party for the most important things you need. Don’t buy black G-strings as by the end of the night you won’t know which pair are yours.
The most important thing is respect
I have never heard of any event where you had to take part in anything . No means no and It is OK to watch. One of my customers loves to just watch, as you can imagine you see some pretty out there stuff. Just don’t ogle like you are at the zoo.
Don’t take offense when people you don’t find attractive try to chat you up. Treat the people at a sex party with the same respect you would anywhere else. If you engage in drug use or drunkenness, they will likely not tolerate it and will no doubt remove you.
Just like some people still think men in raincoats populate sex shops.
It is common to think of sex parties as either high-end or retro.
Playboy, ‘Eyes wide shut” orgies, verses middle-aged suburbanites in terraced houses with bowls of keys. There are those parties, and everything in between. Mostly everyone will be nice and normal and no different from you.
The fact that it is usual to take some clothes off means there may well be a larger proportion of the crowd that take care of themselves.
So if you are lacking in the self-esteem department I wouldn’t go. Many couples and singles I speak to seem to cite the element of competition as one of the virtues of the lifestyle. It prevents couples particularly from becoming lazy and letting them selves go.
It can motivate them to win each others affection. They all love the fantasy element too and getting dressed up in lingerie and costumes is part of that.
It has never been easier to go to a sex party.
They are all over the internet and cater to all tastes. Becoming part of the ‘lifestyle” involves a bit more effort, but if you are a good respectful guest, and you make an effort to dress up and follow the rules you will get to know people and eventually get to go to invite only parties.
If you are unsure, you can go on-line on swingers websites like ‘Kasidie’, or if you have a Fetish then ‘Fetlife’, and just get chatting to people. You can, dip your toes in, and go to an event like ‘Hell fire”, where it is by no means an orgy, but it is a little more sex focused than your average night at a night club. If you want to aim high and go glam, then try to get your self into a Killing Kittens sex party, sponsored by our bestselling sex toy company Lelo.
If you have money and want a week of it then why not try ‘Hedonism’. They have holiday resorts all around the world where you can live out your sex party fantasies 24/7 in dream surroundings.
Ready For A Sex Party?
Are you thinking about going to a sex party event? Sex parties, or similar events, are becoming increasingly popular. The capital of Great Britain, London, is said to have one of the best sex party scenes in Europe. Not only are the parties sophisticated, but they are well organized. Organization is really important when it comes to staying safe.
If you have not been to a sex party event before, here are a few tips which you will find handy.
Contact The Organizers
Most quality sex party events will have a responsible organization behind them. It is important to make sure that other party goers are vetted and checked out. After all, you don’t want to end up at a sex party where safe sex is not practised.
Make sure that condoms are available at the party. It may sound like a good idea to bring your own, but how can you really trust the quality of the condom? That is why you want to make sure the organizers provide guests with brand name condoms.
Are cameras allowed? That is the other question that you should ask. People are quick to take advantage. You don’t want to end up finding yourself plastered all over social media in a compromising position.
If you have any allergies to certain lubes or condoms, make plans to notify other party-goers and bring a suitable replacement.
Is It Your Kind Of Fun?
It’s essential to choose the right type of sex party that matches your interests and comfort levels. If you’re not into BDSM, attending a BDSM-specific party likely won’t be enjoyable for you. Always ask in advance to understand the theme or focus of the event.
Many sex parties cater to a particular fetish, like BDSM, role play, or even voyeurism. However, some events offer a more varied experience. These parties often have multiple rooms or areas, each dedicated to different fantasies or activities. This allows guests to explore their desires in a safe, consensual environment while ensuring that everyone’s boundaries are respected. Understanding the party’s structure helps you find the right space for your personal preferences and ensures a comfortable, enjoyable experience for all involved.
Should I Bring A Friend?
If you have a like-minded friend, it is a good idea to bring him or her. Not very many of us have friends that we can take to sex party events.
The good news is that sex party regulars are a friendly crowd. It will not take you long to find a friend or two. As a matter of fact, most people who go to sex parties are regulars and enjoy meeting up with each other. It is not easy to recruit for sex party events. That is why the crowds that go, are nice to each other.
Are Sex Parties Legal?
Sex parties are generally legal, but it’s important to be aware of local laws to avoid potential legal issues. Different countries and regions have varying regulations on where and how these events can occur. In many places, as long as the gathering is private and consensual, it’s allowed. However, some locations may have stricter rules regarding public behavior or the commercial aspects of such events.
In the Netherlands, for instance, sex parties are often registered, reflecting the country’s open-minded approach to adult pleasure. This system helps maintain safety and order while ensuring that events don’t get out of control. By regulating these activities, the Dutch government reduces potential risks and promotes a culture of respect and consent. Understanding local laws and regulations is essential to ensure that everyone involved remains safe and avoids legal complications.
What Is The Difference Between Sex Parties And Swinging?
When compared to swinging, a sex party event is normally less formal. If you are into swinging, swapping partners or having sex with different people, you are often a member of a club. When you want to join a swinger’s club, you would normally have to apply to the club secretary. Once he or she has improved your application, and you have paid a member’s fee, you can go to the swinger’s club when you are in the mood. You will still have to pay for drinks, but in general, your membership fee covers the cost of the location.
A sex party event is normally paid per event. Going to sex party events can easily work out more expensive than swinging. The upside is that sex parties are often set in a better location and drinks are included in the ticket price. A sex party event is a great way to try adult fun for a beginner. You will soon get to know people and learn how to let go. If you find that it is not for you, all you have to do is to walk away. It is very unlikely that other party goers will be offended.
Above all, take things slow and don’t rush into things. Also, don’t forget that safe sex really matters and you should always practice safe sex.
Here are 10 frequently asked questions (FAQ) about sex parties:
- Are sex parties legal?
Sex parties are generally legal, but local laws vary. It’s important to know your area’s regulations before attending. - Do I need an invitation to attend a sex party?
Most sex parties are private and require an invitation or membership. Some public events may allow walk-ins with prior registration. - Are sex parties safe?
When well-organized, sex parties prioritize safety, including rules around consent, safe sex, and personal boundaries. Always attend reputable events. - Is it okay to not participate?
Yes, many parties welcome observers. Participation is voluntary, and respecting your boundaries is always encouraged. - What should I wear to a sex party?
Dress codes vary by event. Some may require themed or fetish attire, while others prefer casual or sexy outfits. - Are there rules about consent?
Yes, consent is a key aspect of any sex party. Always ask for and receive clear consent before engaging in any activity. - Can I attend a sex party alone?
Many events allow solo attendees, but some may have restrictions or require bringing a partner. - Do I need to bring anything?
It’s recommended to bring condoms, personal hygiene items, and anything specific to your comfort or participation needs. - How can I find sex parties?
Sex parties can be found through private networks, online communities, or specific event groups. Always research to ensure they’re reputable. - What if I’m nervous?
It’s normal to feel nervous. Go at your own pace, communicate your boundaries, and only participate when you feel comfortable.
Jennifer is a marketer and sex toy reviewer at Adultsmart! Embracing a non-judgmental stance, she believes in pleasure without limits—if it feels good and right, why not?
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