Dating can be an anxious task for many gay men. We understand the obstacles that you can meet during dating another gay man. Living in a straight dominant and stereotyped society, this can be an obstacle by itself. The following tips in this article are some of the most important things you need to keep in mind to ensure that your date with another gay man will be successful. This way you will ensure that your unique first date will ask you again for a second date.
- Choose the ideal place to meet as this is very important. Make it a quiet, neutral place outside of your home and away from noisy gay clubs or bars. You want to be able to communicate easily with your date.
- Focus on your date. Since this is a new opportunity to connect, avoid distractions. Relate directly to him and listen to what he has to say.
- Balance the conversation and don’t monopolize it with rambling talk about yourself or your accomplishments, or your ex’s. If he starts to do something similar you should probably reconsider booking a second date. Stay in the present and avoid talking about your ex boyfriends. Your date doesn’t want to hear about it on your first meeting. Concentrate on interests or points of view you have in common. Deal with the present and not the past. It’s ordinary for the individual you are meeting for that first date to be interested about your identity. Be interested in sharing the nuts and bolts, including what you do, where you are from and things you find intriguing.
- In any case, be cautious of oversharing. This implies being aware of revealing an excessive amount of too early, which could bring about your date to feel like you are boasting. Points to keep away from incorporate your present pay, the kind of auto you drive or the amount you are paying for rent. On the off chance that you two hit it off, there will be a lot of time to open up about your own data. The exact opposite thing you need is the person sitting opposite you to think you are a seething narcissist. Thus the point here is to share carefully. Which drives us to our next point.
- Let the positive energy flow. Let’s face it. First impressions are important. If you’re flowing negative energy your date will never become interested in you so relax.
- Getting sexual right away doesn’t usually work out. Allow yourself time to balance physical attraction with other important elements like basic communication and similar outlooks and interests.
- Pacing is important. You can’t take a relationship faster than the pace at which both guys are comfortable. In other words, if you tend to be more intense or serious than the other guy, relax. Allow him time to discover how he feels and wants to proceed, so let go of needing to control the outcome.
- Unequal attraction means tuning into vibes from the other guy. Be honest with yourself as often the level of attraction is not equal. If you sense your attraction to him is not really reciprocated, don’t try to force the issue. Let it go and direct your energy toward a more promising potential. And if you’re the one who’s less interested, let the other guy know as quickly as possible.
- Follow through and respect your date. Phone calls not returned and lack of follow through are a real issue for everyone. We’ve probably all been on both sides of this issue and it’s really simple. Have enough respect for each other to follow through and communicate where things stand. That way you can both move forward together.
- Should your first date be at an eatery or a place where liquor is served, it may be a smart thought to choose ahead of time to have “only one”. That is correct – only one. Here is the reason. When you drink a lot on a first date, you may send the accidental message that you require liquor keeping in mind the end goal to have a good time. More terrible, you may appear to be messy. Is that what you truly need? An incredible approach to maintain a strategic distance from liquor on a first date is to just not associate with it. For instance, rather than going eatery where liquor is served, why not go for dessert or espresso? Shouldn’t something be said about somewhere fun like a zoo or a stroll in the recreation center? The principle indicate here is be aware of liquor use. Along these lines your basic leadership isn’t disabled or your judgment.
By following all these important gay dating tips you ensure that your first date will be successful and the second date near the corner.
Meet PJ Weir, former Gay Exchange stalwart and gay rights advocate. Now caring for his mother in Queensland, he reflects on a decade of LGBTQ+ activism.
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