I’d like to thank you for going through these questions and letting us in to your world of chastity. You started a blog in 2015 called The Chaste Cyclist.
We’ve been on your journey of ups and downs, your kink lifestyle, the events of your family and kids. As well as your sex life and various goings on in your life over the previous three years.
We’d like to thank you for the chance to ask you a series of questions.
Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate everyone who takes time out of their day to read my ramblings.
Interview With The Chaste Cyclist
In your first post in 2015 – you say that you started this blog as your exploration into the world of chastity. Why a blog, and not a diary? What drove you to putting this online for others to read?
I was talking to another person who writes a blog, The Drew Duality about his life and it included chastity. Also I had read through Denying Thumper, another guy talking about and living a life of chastity.
Both of their blogs were of such an interest and coupled with my love to write, I decided to give it a go. I honestly didn’t care if anyone ever read a single post as I considered this blog my personal diary.
You had had an interest in male chastity for many years. What was so interesting about it for you and when did you start taking note of it?
Honestly, it started in the late 1980’s.
I have always been interested in BDSM and Female Domination. As a college sophomore I started reading those Penthouse “stories” magazines. One edition had a story about two women seducing a man at a bar, taking him home, then tying him up and doing what they wanted to him all night.
I chased BDSM and FemDom ever since. It spoke to me. Fast forward to the early 2000’s.
One day while cruising the web I stumbled across the Men in Pain website and saw my first photo/video of a guy with metal locked on his cock. I was hooked from there.
The entire idea of someone taking control of my cock and orgasm denial quickly became a passion. Dare I say…an addiction.
You mentioned that you didn’t always take chastity seriously, and you likened it to a game. What made you change your outlook towards chastity and start to take it seriously?
Initially, it was a game. The first time I convinced my wife to try it and ordered our first cheap device it truly was a game that neither one of us enjoyed playing.
My device was ill fitted. It pinched and grabbed at every movement. Truth be told, I didn’t last more than 18 hours before throwing in the towel.
My Wife could not have been more pleased. She just wasn’t kinky at all and didn’t understand. After that initial experience, and I have written about this extensively, I started drifting mentally away from my wife.
I resorted to masturbation for my true sexual pleasure and that feeling took over my side of the relationship. After our 25th anniversary, I realized I was missing something and started searching for an answer.
Chastity was that answer.
I have to ask this question as when we’re talking about kinks. Not everyone is receptive. You say that it was difficult in getting your wife (MrsL) to take chastity as a serious kind of activity. What do you think changed, have you spoken about that and what was her initial hesitation in chastity?
MrsL was raised a devout Catholic and truly believed I was having an affair…well I was…only with myself and online porn. To this day, she still has a hard time with kink but it isn’t as bad as it once was.
Her initial reaction to chastity, before I confessed my masturbation issue, was one of truly not understanding. But after our anniversary trip I took the time to find some “non kinky” e-books for her to read.
Once she read a chastity guide, we discussed the concept of chastity more seriously.
What advice do you have for people looking to introduce chastity or kink into their lives?
Do your research. Determine if it is just a kink you want to explore or if you want it to be a regular part of your life. There is an adjustment.
What’s your go to comfort food?
Nice, I like how you throw this in here to bring some levity. My go to comfort food has to be…vanilla ice cream! Imagine that! I am a kinky being but my comfort food is vanilla ice cream!
In one of your posts in early October – you talk about whether or not to keep the blog going. What effort and determination is required when running a blog, and what does it take out of you? This is for those looking to start their own blog
Even though I initially didn’t care if anyone read my blog, I quickly realized I had regular readers.
With regular readers comes an expectation of new/fresh content. In October, I realized I wasn’t holding up my end of the bargain with new/fresh content. Then I was feeling guilty.
I quickly got over that feeling. If your starting a blog, make sure you know why you are starting a blog. Decide if you are writing for you or for your readers. If the answer is the latter, then take steps to keep your blog updated daily.
But if it is the former, write when, where, and what you want to write.
You and MrsL use a journal to talk about things; kink lifestyle, what’s going on. This seems like a fantastic idea as it let’s couples work through things at their own pace. Where did this idea come from and how have you both found it useful?
It came from another blog I read with the only difference is this couple uses their blog to talk about “stuff”. We only use it for our kinky stuff.
You’ve spoken recently about changing the type of chastity that you and Mrs L engage in, and i’d love to explore that. What does the difference between enforced chastity and devotional chastity mean to you? And what was the decision making process in that?
Enforced chastity is exactly what it says…enforced.
When MrsL finally told me that she was in charge of when and how long I wore her Steelheart, I realized I truly had gotten what I had been wishing for all those years.
Alas, I travel on airplanes and the plastic Bon4 device and the “custom” EvotionWearables device (3D printed surgical nylon) device caused issues. All chronicled on the blog.
One of the many websites I visited and introduced to MrsL was Devotional Sex. We both read through it, individually, had a journal, and face to face conversation about the entire concept.
Absent spending the money needed, and we are still planning on doing this someday. We agreed a custom TITANIUM device that is airplane travel safe and we agreed that we would live the Devotional Sex lifestyle in between stints in the Steelheart.
For me, it personifies my renewed commitment to MrsL.
She is still 100% in charge of IF, WHEN, and HOW I receive an orgasm.
In exchange, I still focus all of my sexual energy on her! I will admit that the feeling isn’t the same. There is something about the absolutely instant POSITIVE feedback received when locked in chastity that is electric.
When you cock wants to get hard and that desire is blocked by some type of device that energy is looped back through your body. With Devotional Sex, the feedback loop is more subtle but it does build with time.
For example, within an hour or two of being locked in the Steelheart, the slightest touch from MrsL sends chills coursing through my body.
But when we are practicing Devotional Sex it sometimes takes days.
When I am on a known extended travel break for work the Steelheart is more present. Other times, like now, Devotional Sex is more prevalent. Of course, either way has its advantages and disadvantages for MrsL.
She is very coy about which way she prefers but I think it is having unfettered access to tease me.
Meet Stephen, a bold and opinionated cis-gendered gay advocate for gender equality and sexual education. Join him on the Adultsmart blog for fearless insights.
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