Survival of the fittest the old Darwinism principal – may the strongest survive. But are we still roaming on the plains for our survival? No, our battles range from the boardroom to the dance floor. Caught up in wanting others to see how successful we are, how beautiful our bodies, how we have this label or that driving in our top of the line car. It is now thought, and science backs this up, that devoting time, resources or good-will to others brings about lasting well-being and satisfaction. A bit of kindness and compassion goes a long way.
But is all this self-interest, competing, self-adoration healthy for a person mentally and when will enough be enough? The trouble with wanting material things is that you always want more and the appreciation/satisfaction time diminishes every time. One will never be completely satisfied wanting and striving for more.
Will We Ever Be Satisfied?
The man who works and strives to make it to the top of his chosen career – finally climbs that final set and asks himself and where to now. Many ‘successful’ people turn to alcohol and drugs to create an artificial high as life provides no satisfaction anymore.
Things are just things and what does it all mean anyway?
In fact many corporate employers who were in the past only performance driven and focused on those traits in groom potential employee’s have had an entire mind-set change. Questions relating community work, kindness and empathy are prevalent. As those people tend to be more loyal to their employers creating a sense of community and good values to the workplace.
Types of Kindness
There are many types of kindness
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Active Kindness
This type of kindness means a helping hand towards people in need. Awakening the senses and becoming aware of other peoples needs. It could be as small a deal as saying hello to someone who is lonely. Or opening a door for someone carrying bags, even just saying to someone that you really appreciate them.
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Truthful Kindness.
When from a loving place you help someone who is going to make a mistake. It can be as simple as seeing your child going to school with two different coloured socks. And letting them know before they get embarrassed by someone not so understanding. Or letting that lady know that she has the back of her dress tucked in her underpants.
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Silent Kindness
So, silent kindness is done by people that want to do good for others without others knowing. They want to make the lives of other people better and that in itself is enough for them. Many people who have made it to the ‘top of their game’ realise that it never fulfilled them. They end up becoming philanthropists trying to ‘pay back’ for their past deeds and outlook on life.
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Random Acts of Kindness
How about those people that choose to do ‘random acts of kindness‘ for others? It can be as simple as paying for the coffee of the person behind you in a drive through, or buying a homeless person a pair of shoes.
Going out deliberately to offer kindness to a person you have never met before.
Of course the most important kindness one can give is to oneself. How can you love or give to another if you are not kind to yourself? Forgive yourself for your shortcomings and embrace your strengths. Both you and the world will feel a better place.
Why not change the world with your acts of kindness?
Liberated Sexual Revolution – A Netflix Documentary
I came across a post on Facebook last week about Liberated Sexual Revolution. Detailing a woman’s reactions after watching the newly released Netflix documentary “Liberated: The New Sexual Revolution.”
I was intrigued to see for myself what all the fuss was about and was blown away by what was shown. If you are in denial of the need for better sex education for young people then I highly recommend you watch this one!
(Warning: This article contains spoiler alerts)
This documentary shows the experiences of American college aged men and women as they go away for spring break, with their feelings and behaviours when it comes to their sexuality explored.
Spring break in the U.S is a coming of age ritual for many young men & women, with the holiday symbolising freedom from the responsibilities of college.
Notch On the Belt
The first interviews we see are from a group of young men partaking in spring break celebrations. What I found tragic with these men were the beliefs they have around women & sex. Having sex with multiple young women was a way of these men finding validation from their peers, with the “notch on the belt” attitude extremely prevalent.
Men were seen as “better men” according to how many women they slept with. Emotion and love was completely absent in the sexual interactions and even the mention of it was laughed at.
One experience showed a man meeting a young women walking past his hotel room. Within a few minutes they were alone in his room having sex. He did not remember her name straight after the experience and had no intention of meeting her again. What was noticeable in these men was that they didn’t even know that there was a different way of being with women.
Having these kinds of experiences was scarily the norm.
When the interviewer dug a little deeper speaking with some of these men in smaller groups. What we saw were confused young guys who felt enormous amounts of pressure to have sex despite their desires to do so.
Men spoke of the shame of being a virgin when all their friends had lost their virginity and how they were teased because of it. Having sex was seen as a necessary part of being a man. With this sometimes leading to some regretful and unpleasant experiences for all involved.
Moving on to the Women on Spring Break
We initially saw a very different perspective than with the men. Young women that were interviewed appeared at first intelligent, articulate and very aware of the toxic culture they had grown up in.
They realised that they had to go against some very strong messages that tell them to be a certain way in order to avoid falling into the trap of the social “norms.” It then moves on to a different scene on a spring break beach party, where we saw young women buying into the idea of emotionless and empty sexual encounters.
There was a very prevalent attitude that many women were abiding to. That was one of sexuality being the only part of themselves that made them worthy. Appearing sexy was the most important thing in these young women’s lives. For them to feel of any value in the world, they needed men to validate this in them.
It Gets Worse!!
As the documentary continued, scene after scene of objectification & disrespectful mistreatment of women followed.
We saw women’s breasts and genitals being groped by strangers as they walked past. Heard accounts from countless women saying that this was to be expected as they went about spring break. In fact it happened in countless other environments for these women throughout their lives.
Was I Surprised? No, not really.
I would be lying if I said that the behaviour I witnessed completely surprised me. Because I grew up in the “hookup culture” and some of these behaviours were eerily familiar. Though it certainly has gotten worst from what I saw.
What really shocked & devastated me was the huge extent of these behaviours. And how normal detached sexual encounters, sexual abuse, rape and severe mistreatment of young women is for so many young people.
A young women was raped whilst unconscious by 3 young men. There were hundreds of people standing around not doing a thing about it!!
This Documentary Highlights Toxicity
So, this documentary highlighted the toxicity that occurs when young people are not taught about healthy sexuality and relationships.
Pornography is one of the main ways that young people learn about sex. Without an awareness of the context of this imagery, it can lead to the normalization of harmful sexual behaviors.
Although this documentary was filmed in the U.S, I believe it speaks loudly to what is going on in Australia too. Many things need to be done differently worldwide if we’re to see any lasting changes to the ways young men and women relate with one another.
Meet Stephen, a bold and opinionated cis-gendered gay advocate for gender equality and sexual education. Join him on the Adultsmart blog for fearless insights.
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