Insecurities can be a mountain of problems over time, and these problems are basically a form of mental junk. Improving yourself means wading through these issues. While it’s never going to be possible to entirely escape being insecure in some situations, it’s crucial to get a handle on the when, the where, and the how of your insecurities.
It’s also important to remember that any insecurity you may have is going to come down to fear. Fear is an enemy that requires a unique approach to fighting it. And fear in your interpersonal relationships likethe idea love is fear can come from a lot of different places.
On the one hand, you don’t want to end up alone when you really love the person you’re with. You may be afraid of being alone, just in general. Or you may even be afraid of a form of impostor syndrome where a relationship is something that’s beyond what you’re capable or worthy of maintaining.
Inner Work for Improving Yourself
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Knowing the Problem’s Origins
At some point in your early childhood, you were quite literally afraid for your life. While this might sound dramatic, it’s important to remember that for the first few years of a person’s life, they are entirely at the mercy of their parents.
If the parents are angry, the child spends a lot of time knowing instinctively that they could be physically abused, starved, even abandoned. And that they aren’t capable of taking care of themselves. In a perfect world, this would never happen. But this isn’t a perfect world, and parents are only human.
Origins of anxieties, stressors are just small reminders of a long consciously forgotten fear that came long before you had the physical strength, perspective, and ability to trust yourself that you can now count on as an adult. This fear bypasses everything you’ve built up over the decades, and goes straight into mortal fear.
While this may not present itself as heart palpitations, you can tell when you’re afraid. But you aren’t sure why.
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Honesty and Breaking the Cycle
Bad news about insecurities is that it’s never going to be possible to tell what sets them off with any certainty. There are too many tiny gestures, there are too much background noises and stimuli. And there are just too many variables to try and sort them all out.
You’re going to have your insecurities for life, at least to an extent. Good news is you can ease them to the extent that they will no longer set you off or hinder your relationships.
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Being intimate with your partner involves opening up to them.
Restraining yourself and not admitting to what you want won’t help you advance. Find and admit to yourself of the less known parts of your personality and your desires. From there, you can open a real conversation.
Sometimes all it takes is a little thing to make you feel better. A compliment from one of your work colleagues, going out and seeing something that makes you feel good or just spending the day looking after yourself.
If you have managed to improve yourself after filtering through all the junk how about Beating Some of the Biggest Insecurities.
6 Things Your Mattress Needs To Improve Your Sex!
You need to have sex on the best mattress for sex and there’s no way around that. Well, unless you’re good with an ‘okay’ rated sexual experience! We all desire to have that moment that takes us beyond our wildest desires when getting intimate and the bed quality plays a significant role.
Surveys done have revealed that majority of the people have sex in bed. This is evidence that you’ll need the perfect mattress if you desire to have the best sex. Of course, other factors also have a hand, but having a good mattress is a great starting point.
Ever had sex on an old mattress, with the springs all worn out?
I am certain it was a moment that you wished would come to an end because, instead of pleasure, you get noise and you’re constantly trying to find your balance. Even though sex is rarely on our minds when we’re getting a mattress, it’s high time we put that factor into consideration.
They say while getting a mattress, ensure that you consider all your preferences and needs. Sex should be on the list!
Which type of mattress would be best to have sex on?
Think Comfortability
When it comes to purchasing a mattress, comfort is among the things that you shouldn’t dare compromise on. Remember that, even without the sex; we spend more than a 1/3 of our lives in bed. So, why not make it comfy?
When considering the level of comfort that a mattress offers you’ll need to think of.
- How comfortable is it to sleep on?
- Can I comfortably have sex on the bed without straining myself or my partner?
Interestingly, a good comfy mattress has a way of spicing up the moment. It makes you relax and just focus on enjoying yourself. Comfort here refers to three things: your body balance on the mattress, the material texture and if it causes any strain by creating pressure points.
Think Flexibility
An innerspring mattress is perfect for flexibility. We make a lot of maneuvers while having sex. What makes them worthwhile is if they work. An adjustable mattress will make you achieve that. You’ll need to find a mattress that responds to the moves that you make while at the same time giving a slight bounce.
To achieve flexibility, you’ll need a bed that’s slightly firm but bouncy and one that responds fast to your movements.
There are some mattress brands that offer flexibility other than the innerspring mattress such as latex foam in comparison with other memory foam mattresses. But don’t focus too much on flexibility and forgetting your sleeping position, find a balance between the two.
Think Noise
Nothing disrupts the perfect intimate moment like a noisy bed. Sex is a discreet affair. It’s not something that you want to announce to your neighbors. I must point out that the noise factor varies from couple to couple.
A couple with children or living as a large family will prefer discretion, but on the other hand, a couple with no one else around will rarely mind the noise. Generally, a mattress ideal for sex will keep the sounds at a low.
After all, sex is an intimate affair and drawing unnecessary attention isn’t such a great idea.
Think Durability
A good mattress shouldn’t break down because of intense activities on the bed, even in the long term. Sex is probably one of the ways that you can test for a mattresses’ durability. A good mattress should be able to support your weight, that of your partner and any sex positions.
A young couple needs to seriously think of durability considering all the energy they have and the frequency of sex. Although a broken mattress during sex can be a sign of a great moment, it’s also an indicator that you may need a new and better mattress.
Think Temperature
We all know just how hot it gets during sex. Not many people will have fun when it’s a ‘hot mess’ and they are all hot and sweaty.
You will, therefore, need to get a mattress that will not get too hot and not just because of the sex but also for your everyday sleeping. Gel foam mattresses are an excellent bet when selecting a bed that won’t get too hot.
Other than gel foam mattress, other brands are available in the market. Take the time to inquire from the manufacturers if the bed you have has a unique cooling feature or not. You could also go to mattress review sites to find out more information on certain mattresses.
Think Edge Support
An edge support that will collapse when under pressure is definitely not ideal considering that some of the best sex positions require a stable and robust edge.
A good mattress, regardless of the sex, should comfortably hold your body weight and pressure without collapsing.
Sex is as good as the mattress you’re on.
Every mattress has its benefits and drawbacks, what’s important is to find the one that’s suitable for you. A mistake that a lot of us make is going for a particular mattress because it worked for others. An ideal bed is one that corresponds to your specific needs and preferences including your sexual moment.
For you to really enjoy that intimate moment, you’ll need the best mattress. So the next time you go mattress shopping, I’m confident that the above considerations will help you to identify the best mattress for you and your sex life!
Read from our Guest Bloggers articles. Authors submit original articles on sexual lifestyle, health, and wellness to rick.xsales@gmail.com for posting.
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