From the sound of it, you’re already quite aware of what a submissive/dominant relationship is. You’ve probably been a submissive for some time, and have already found the kinks which turn you on. Now, you’re looking for ways to become better at it. Wanting to improve yourself and evolve as a sub is a step to improve the relationship with your dominant. The good thing is that the sub/dom relationship isn’t static; it’s a relationship that both bdsm partners can develop through time. If you’re looking for ways to improve your kinky relationship, you’ve come to the right spot. We’re going to talk about how to be a better submissive.
Exercise your safeword
All BDSM relationships have a safeword which lets each partner know where the line is. However, many people are still scared about using it; thinking it’ll disappoint their partner. But the thing is the safeword was created for a reason. A dominant cannot fully enjoy the experience if they have the feeling their submissive isn’t into what they’re doing.
Moreover, it builds distrust and insecurity. Instead of letting go and being in the moment, your dominant is trying to figure out if you’re enjoying it. You have a safe word both you and your dominant agreed upon beforehand; don’t be afraid to use it.
Incorporate your submissive behavior outside of the bedroom
No, this doesn’t mean you should let your dominant take control of everything outside of the bedroom. Rather, you can let your dominant exercise their power in small ways – only if you want to. For example, they can choose which restaurant you’ll go tonight or what movie to see. Of course, this should only be done healthily, and if you want it. This can create a stronger submissive/dominant dynamic.
Take a little control
Oh, you’re probably surprised by this one, but you shouldn’t be. The entire point of being a submissive is giving up control, but sometimes, you can take control. Being a dominant isn’t easy; it’s a lot of work. Now, you don’t need to become a dominant, but initiating sex or suggesting a fantasy is an excellent way to show your investment in the relationship. There’s nothing wrong with being active in the relationship; it’ll probably alleviate some of the pressure your dominant is feeling. They want you to enjoy the experience, so why not take the initiative from time to time?
Dominants need TLC too
Submissive aftercare usually happens in most BDSM relationships, but what about dominants? Well, dominant aftercare is rarely spoken about. However, being a dominant puts you in a different mindset. If you and your dominant’s shared experiences involve degradation or violence, aftercare is essential for both of you.
A dominant’s aftercare will be mental and emotional; you need to reassure them you understand they don’t want to hurt you, and that you care about them. It’s easy for a dominant to feel they crossed the line (this is why exercising a safeword is essential). If they did, you need to voice this, and also work on using your safeword. But, if they didn’t, then reassure them of that. A simple “thank you” works wonders as well. It shows them you enjoyed the experience which is what they need to know.
You can mix things up
Many people think a BDSM relationship is very serious and physical. Of course, there are many moments when it is. But, you’re also allowed to laugh and enjoy the experience. Naturally, timing does matter, but if the time is right, why not be funny or silly? Yes, your BDSM relationship can be sexy, violent, and degrading, but you can also mix things up and throw in some light moments.
Follow the rules
Ah yes, the rules. In the beginner’s BDSM guide, creating rules is usually in the top three things you need to do before even engaging in anything physical. Naturally, you don’t need to follow the rules strictly. There are some times where you both want to adjust the rules, and that’s fine. However, if you’re breaking the rules without your dominant knowing, it affects the relationship.
If you agreed not to masturbate when your dominant isn’t around, then don’t do it. Outside of a BDSM relationship, this rule may seem silly, but, for your relationship, it’s not. If you’ve broken a rule, tell your dominant right away; otherwise, it’s as though you’re cheating on the relationship.
Being in a BDSM relationship is a fun and adventurous experience for both you and your dominant. Of course, as an active partner, you want the relationship to continue to grow and evolve. Try out these tips to become a better submissive for your partner.
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