When it comes to the art of restraints, there’s something truly mesmerizing about the way they work. Whether you’re the one wearing them or putting them on a playmate, there’s a certain beauty in the way they can enhance the entire experience.
It’s almost like they add an extra layer of excitement and anticipation to an already thrilling encounter. And to be given the honor of either wearing or putting on restraints?
Well, that’s a feeling like no other.
Art of Restraints
Bondage is defined as the “sexual practice that involves the tying up or restraining of one partner”.
There’s a certain beauty in restraints, and to be permitted to either wear or put them on a playmate is an enthralling honor.
Many people misconstrue what BDSM is and believe that restraints are hand cuffs, ankle cuffs and ropes. This is profoundly incorrect to anyone that knows the art of restraints.
Restraints are considered to be anything that keeps a playmate under control. It could be stretched to include that restraints can be found in the word of the master as well, in comparison to something physical.
Art of Restraints – It Can Cover Anything
It can therefore cover anything from cuffs and rope, to ball gags, hoods, bondage hooks, bondage mitts, chastity devices, collars and gags etc. The list is endless.
A lot of Trust
The art of restraints require a lot of trust between playmates, as you’re not just mentally submitting to ones whims and desires, but physically as well.
Great Honour
It is considered a great honour to be trusted enough to wear/give someone restraints. So it’s important to make sure that you respect the negotiations as to their limits. Respect their desire to say no or stop, as well as to respect them in general.
Restraints, in some way or another, restrict your ability to move, escape and you are no longer in control
It is a physical transference of power.
When introducing restraints to your partner, it might be a good idea to go down to your local Adult Store to check out what’s on offer.
It might not be a fantastic idea to get the latest leather cuffs with lockable buckles and a unique key. Don’t scare your partner, and if they’re uncomfortable during a scene, then the moment can be irrevocably ruined.
Some of the sets such as Mistress Bondage, Sportsheets, Manbound, Fetish Fantasy and Sex & Mischief will offer some delightfully comfortable restraint sets whilst still paying attention to comfort and durability.
I prefer the sets such as the under the bed restraint kits, due to the versatility that can be offered during use.
With detachable cuffs and D-Rings that with a bit of ingenuity can be attached to pretty much anything, the versatility and simplicity of some of these sets can be astounding.
Alternatively you could look at something like bondage tape.
Bondage tape is a unique material which only sticks to itself, so you can be assured that you’re not going to get an unexpected waxing. The flexibility of the tape means that you can attach it to wherever you want.
Maybe on a dining table, a chair, against a fridge or a cupboard. Beauty about bondage tape is the variety of colours and that you can attach other things to the body as well.
Think strapping down a body wand on your playmates thigh.
Rope Bondage and the Art of Restraints
An item that I love to sell to people who might be just starting out in bondage or someone with advanced skills. I personally think it is one of the most versatile items we sell in our BDSM sex toy section, with endless ways to tie and restrict an individual.
Rope in itself can be an extremely sexy material to play with and can completely transform someone’s body by accentuating certain features.
Art of Restraints – Japanese Rope Bondage
The art of Japanese Rope Bondage has been practiced for centuries and is an accepted art from just like paper folding called origami.
It’s official term is called Shibari Style Rope Bondage and the rope is soft and comfortable. This is extremely important during a struggle scenario.
But I’ll be honest, rope takes time to learn.
To learn Shibari you need an artistic eye and an art of perfection and my talents lie in other areas. Dedicated Rope masters will hand create their rope. As well as measuring to create the perfect lengths needed to envelop the body in such a particular way.
Rope however, when done correctly is perhaps the most aesthetically pleasing of restraints of this nature.
People enjoy bondage because it involves the physical transference of power.
Sex within a BDSM scene isn’t necessarily of a physical nature, but you’re mentally stimulating them as well.
Regardless of the scene, punishment, domination, simulated rape – the primary discourse centres around the ideology of power and to a lesser extent, the appearance of control.
I say appearance due to the ideal that the sub is actually in ‘control’.
For some people, it’s the rush or thrill from the feeling of having restricted movement or in contrast, the beauty of putting someone in that situation.
Be sure to check out some Bondage role play ideas for some more fun!
Safety Tips
Some safety tips for restraints is that if you’re using a lockable restrain set, keep a spare key. The amount of times I’ve heard stories about someone dropping a key is astounding.
It’s not necessarily about dropping the key, it’s the fact that you’ve left your sub in a potentially dangerous situation whilst your fumble around for a key.
By all means, keep a key on you for aesthetic purposes, but keep one within arms reach for emergencies in case you drop it, lose it or whatever.
No right or wrong way for restraints.
It comes down to aesthetic value and what you prefer. I prefer cuffs myself but I know of many people, and have witnessed many sessions, that have focused on rope or tape.
It is important to consider how you’re going to use the restraints as well in both a context and a setting thought.
For outdoor bondage, cuffs aren’t really going to do it, tape will struggle thereby leaving only rope as a logical option.
However, your tastes will develop as you go along.
Charge Up Your Sex With Neck & Wrist Restraints
Do you want to spice up your love life? Let’s face it most people do! But surprisingly it can easily be done by adding a bit of light bondage play for a changed sexual routine?
For a newbie, just imaging the thought of being restrained and surrendering your sexual control to another. How liberating this can be I find it difficult to express so why not use the words of Fuller,
“Many individuals have this misguided judgment that the individual who’s in control in life all the time needs control in the bedroom, Often that is totally in reverse. They need to sit back, unwind, and surrender [control] to their partner.”
Always Check How Your Partner Is Feeling
Before you start BDSM role-play it is essential to make the rules of what is acceptable and what is not!
This is the most important part as to surrender you must have trust and if the guidelines are not clearly defined it can cause angst and fear.
Also a clearly defined ‘Safe Word’ between the partners must be agreed upon. The safe word means that when used both parties must stop what they are doing immediately.
It means that one or even both parties are uncomfortable to where the play is heading and the act is changing from consensual to non-consensual.
When you have your first session start small.
It will probably not be enjoyable if you start by trying to emulate the scenes from the writings of the Marquis De Sade. Rather start slowly – perhaps with some silk ties and as you grow more and more comfortable expand your repertoire of bondage aids.
Communication is key, always talk to your partner before and after what could have been done differently, what they really enjoyed and what they would like to try next time. It will make for hotter and sessions as the trust in each of you grows.
Go together to your local adult shop to see the different things you can add to your erotic sessions or go to a bdsm shop online where you can view all the devices available in the privacy and comfort of your own home.
Whilst in your home work out where you are going to carry out your bondage games and when. As opposed to regular sex it is more exciting to not know where or when your will be intimate together bondage play is all about planning and control.
The more planning takes place the more comfortable and secure the sessions are.
Having participated in light BDSM play for many years one of my favorite devices to use in the Bondage Sessions is a neck and wrist restraints. I am not into pain and suffering more in allowing my partner to take control or visa versa.
We like to ‘switch’ roles in different sessions.
These restraints consist of a set of cuffs that are placed around the wrists that are attached to a chain that on the other end has a collar that fits around the neck.
Restraints that I choose to use are comfortable to wear and my preference is to have the wrists to the rear rather than the front as it gives the dominant more control.
We incorporate other toys in our play, generally sensory like feather ticklers and my favorite the wartenberg wheel.
The pin-wheel is my favorite as the needles titillate and I know that if too much pressure was put on them they would draw blood. But I know that my partner only uses them with a light touch so they tickle or give ever so slight pricking feeling.
You can position your ankles and wrists in countless ways at the front or back of the body, dependent on whichever manner your wear it. Can also use the cuffs with other bondage accessories like ropes, leashes or tethers that you own already.
This undeniably sexy bondage that will definitely help you and your sexy playmate get involved into some undeniably exciting and compromising positions together.
You can also use other adult toys in combination with the neck and wrist restraint to create some extremely pleasurable and sensual moments if you like.
My other favorite is the Neck & Wrist Steel Restraint, crafted from surgical steel and bearing a T-bar neck design and wrist bondage is equally sturdy and sexy.
Team it up along with a sensuous mouth gag and have your sexy partner begging like a slave for mercy.
Let the amazing experiences take you to another world when you take chances on being the slave.
With the collar diameter of 13.2 cm, wrist cuffs diameter of 6cm and length of the in between long bar at 20 cm, the collar sets fittingly on every individual. Buy some Neck & Wrist Steel Restraint.
At that point invigorate their erogenous zones with an ice solid shape, plume, flame wax, or vibrator. You could likewise attempt oral or manual incitement.
“There are two ways crimp dreams can go, you can discover this is something you’ve been lost in your sexual coexistence or that the thought was better left as a dream.” says sex teacher Cassie Fuller, Touch of Flavor.
Cassie describes herself on her website as
‘Hi! I’m Cassie Fuller, a kink and intimacy expert, educator, and coach. I began teaching in the kink and polyamory communities in 2008.
I co-founded TTB Ventures (Touch of Flavor’s parent company) in 2009 with the mission of providing awesome education to kinky and poly folks.
We founded Touch of Flavor itself in 2011 after the release of Fifty Shades of Gray. At Touch of Flavor we spent our first few years focused on educating newbies through media appearances and conferences.
We had a ton of fun, and along the way were able to educate both the public and media on sex, intimacy, and kink.’
The steel neck and wrist restraints are a great way to get into BDSM Play and of course they are distributed by the best Bondage Supplier Hell’s Couture.
Hell’s Couture fine surgical steel products and leather gear are a cut above what is available in the market.
Click this link to find your nearest seller of hells couture bondage gear.
You can also buy their Bondage & Fetish gear on Amazon and ebay. They not only deal in restraints but stock the largest array of penis plugs selling across the globe discretely and cheaply through DHL.
You will be amazed at the low cost of their products and the quality and range that they stock.
Ask for them by name and if you retailer has not heard of them, then they are not serious about Bondage and Fetish equipment.
Enter Andrew Pullen BDSM world of Fet Lifestyle, BDSM, and expert Shibari insights. Explore his descriptive and educational articles at Adultsmart.
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