I want to change the definition of porn and here is why;
I have recently watched the Netflix show Big Mouth (I definitely recommend it). In one of the episodes, a steamy book is circulated around the characters. One of them, Jay, is very confused by this! He exclaims –
“Wait a minute, you’re telling me all these girls are walking around reading porn!”
And this, along with the recent Fifty Shades release, a few recent documentaries had me thinking.
What do we as a society really classify as porn, and is it changing?
The Definition Of Porn
What Is Porn And How Is It Changing?
The Porn vs. Art Debate: A Call for Dialogue
The old adage,
“I know it when I see it,”
often guides the porn versus art debate. Yet, in a world awash with hypersexualized imagery and readily accessible explicit content.
Can we still confidently rely on this adage? Adults might claim to “know porn when they see it,” but what about our children?
Unlike previous generations, today’s youth are growing up with unfettered access to such content, potentially desensitizing them. As they mature, will they be able to distinguish porn as easily?
It’s high time we, as a society, initiate a candid conversation about pornography, its place, and its definition. This discussion isn’t about imposing limits or censorship, but addressing the challenges stemming from pornography’s booming sales, accessibility, and widespread consumption.
The urgency of this conversation hit home during a chat with my 15-year-old brother. His openness to discussing this topic with me—given my professional background—underscores the need for dialogue. Though he might consider me the “best” person to approach – (a point I’m humbly unsure about), his willingness to engage signifies more than just curiosity. Our discussions, starting from basic inquiries to more nuanced debates about pornography’s perception, highlight the necessity of such dialogues.
This conversation is long overdue. It’s not just about clarifying terms or quelling curiosities. It should be about collectively reevaluating how we perceive and engage with pornographic content.
Porn And How It Is Viewed
Many kids’ first contact with porn is way before their parents believe it is. Kids as young as 7 or 8 have reported regularly accessing pornography via the internet. These young minds are entering this very confronting world with little to no guidance. They begin to form their opinions on sex based on what they see on the screen.
My little brother did. He believed that if the size of his penis wasn’t close to that of the guys on the screen, girls wouldn’t like him. And the penis size question was just the start.
Our talk then progressed to how the act of sex is nothing like it is depicted on screen. I came to him with his analogy. Porn is like an action movie. In real life most days you will walk down the street with little to no car chases, explosions and it’s the same with porn. When you have sex, it will be much less over the top and more real.
This seemed to help something click with how he viewed porn. I hope this has moved him to a place where he can enjoy porn, but see it for what it really is, a fantasy.
The problem is not every family has a loud mouth older sister who works in a sex shop. Couple this with the fact that porn seems to be becoming part of the societal norm and we have the makings for a perfect storm! Confused horned up kids, that need guidance.
What Is The Definition of Porn?
For me, the first step is about defining what porn is any content (image, book, video and advertisement) that aims to arouse. I think for many people, my definition will make them uncomfortable. Now, before we continue, I know this will include images and content that are currently not considered porn, and I want that.
But do not misunderstand me, I’m not asking for these things to be censored or kept for adult eyes only. Rather, I would like people to engage in a conversation with their children around the meaning of these images, their repercussions and effects. So that when they do come to sex videos and imagery (what is considered porn now) that will have some context into how they can approach this content. I want to remove the stigma and whispers from the word “porn”, and use it as a correct term for sexualised images.
I also believe that this re-definition of porn would force a lot of people to reconsider the images and content they engage with. This will hopefully bring a level of awareness to sex’s real presence in our daily lives. An increased discussion could mean that the types of conversations I have with my brother can be a regular occurrence in houses with teenagers.
It could also help people who have worked in the adult industry or porn experience less stigma later in life. W as a society could see a change of our attitudes towards sex that will have us being more open and more honest.
The reality is my wanting to change the definition of porn and consider more things under this term doesn’t change a thing. Sex and porn will still be there! So will advertising, using sex to sell, but at least if we give it a name, hopefully channels of discussion will open up and our young people won’t feel lost.
There are often confusing and unspoken rules we are meant to live by and learn, but no one is teaching.
Author: Jamie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre
Jennifer is a marketer at Adultsmart! Embracing a non-judgmental stance, she believes in pleasure without limits—if it feels good and right, why not?
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