Cunnilingus Secrets
Look before you eat
You totally wouldn’t attempt to eat your dinner without at least glancing at your plate before putting food on your fork, or glancing at your fork before placing it in your mouth… nor would you attempt to piece together a puzzle in the dark.
So why go down on your lady before you get a decent look?
Sure, in scenarios where it may be a one time thing, or at the beginning of the relationship getting a decent look may be awkward. But you can get around this by making the situation LESS awkward. Brownie points for telling her that her pink canoe looks pretty!
So how are you supposed to do your thing and do it well if you can’t even see first where everything is situated.
Converse
How does she like it?
Where does she like it?
Does she like direct clitoral stimulation?
Dual stimulation?
All I know is, the more you know, the better you’re going to provide! Discuss what feels good and don’t be ashamed or afraid to say what doesn’t! Communication is key when it comes to consent and pleasure.
Listen to the cues
It’s not just the act but also being present and completely in tune with your partners responses and cues. As previously mentioned, listen if your partner gives you direction, and when to never, ever stop.
Use your hands
Just because it’s called oral sex, doesn’t mean you can’t use your hands! Some women need dual stimulation to orgasm, some like the teasing aspect, some women need G Spot stimulation…. again, COMMUNICATE!
Communite non-verbally
Ask her to hold your hand or head and tap, squeeze, or loosen the pressure when you like something, don’t like something or what more of it. You can develop your own types of non verbal communication, to make Cunnilingus that much easier.
Remember
Sometimes you have performed Cunnilingus that many times it should come naturally. It is most important to remember, what she likes. When you have time, write down the moves that have worked best. Before you have Cunnilingus you can read the list and build open your skill set.
Don’t be ashamed to bring tools!
Sex furniture or items such as the ‘Wedge’ by Liberator, are described as a serving platter for your meal… It literally is just that. It props up your butt so you can have easier access and maneuver other wonderful toys whilst you go to town. (I won’t go into detail as this is going to occur in a review to come from Amy).
Bring along a versatile couples vibrator. Mona can produce amazing G Spot orgasms in one hand while your tongue focuses on the clitoris. Combined with the wedge, you’ll be able to have much more freedom.
Buy some flavoured lube! Flavoured lube is both fun and one of the best inventions of all time.
Like coffee flavours? Try Wicked’s Mocha Java lubricant.
Like sour? Try ID’s sour watermelon lubricant.
Like sweet? Try Wet Stuffs caramel flavoured lubricant.
There is literally a flavour for everyone. So pick away and enthusiastically eat (lick, please) your partner.
Now You Know The Secrets of Cunnilingus.
Ultimate Guide To Cunnilingus
I’ve been reading The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus by Violet Blue.
This is a how to guide to eating pussy for those of you who didn’t get that from the title. The book is approximately 200 pages and is an easy to read self-help book great for anyone who enjoys giving really great head to women.
Violet Blue Sex Educator
Violet Blue is a sex educator and gives excellent advice and helpful instructions on giving exquisite pleasure. There are also illustrations by sexpert Alison Tyler to help you visualise the text from Violet.
This isn’t a book I would normally read but I found once I started it, I got into it. It’s great because it doesn’t matter if you’re a heterosexual man or a queer identifying woman (or a non-binary person) whose friend loves a little oral.
It would be a great tool to give a teenager who is going through puberty or beginning to engage in sexual intercourse. This allows you to identify which body parts you like to touch and where you like to be touched. It is empowering and gives agency to teenagers exploring their sexuality.
Where Is The Clitoris Located?
It is not just a beginner’s guide, but also a refresher class for some and has clear illustrations of a woman’s anatomy; I’ll say again for the people at the back who are not listening, discover where the clitoris is and how to use it to your advantage.
Even if you don’t read the entire book, please do society a favour and read that chapter (it’s chapter 3). Discussing safe sex and the potential nasties that you can still get even from oral sex, again important information everyone needs to know.
It is more than just a ‘how to go down on a woman’ because as you all know, some things you learn from doing them and practising, but others you can learn somethings from a textbook. It will definitely help you.
It Read In A Friendly And Engaging Tone
I found myself at the beginning nodding along and thinking to myself, “Well, obviously…” However, as the text goes on it offers more in-depth tips and instructions that even had me wanting to try it out. The author has a friendly tone, and it does not read like a textbook which I found made the book enjoyable and engaging.
Violet’s book uses simple language, marketing her book to all ages and genders. Alison has carefully placed the illustrations for the more difficult manoeuvres and included a suggested list of erotic literature and DVDs. So that readers can further study on the art of cunnilingus. A benefit for anyone from young to old can be had, with a skillset anywhere in between.
People With Disabilities Still Enjoy Sex
I’d also like to highlight the section on performing oral sex on people with disabilities – which is often an unmentioned or taboo subject. I think this is important because it’s not frequently discussed and it needs a more open dialogue in our society that people with disabilities still enjoy sex.
The chapter on shaving I liked the least, where she discusses that hair may be an issue for some people. A an angry feminist I just think it is your body and it’s not up for discussion, if you are shaved or not. The chapter seemed to be in favour of the person performing the oral sex dictating whether you should be shaved/waxed or not. This was a message I can really not stand behind.
However, she goes on to discuss various textures and tastes and my annoyance begun to wear off.
Different Sex Positions
Recommendations on different sex positions and how approaching new positions to try for performing oral sex are given. Violet offered effective communications tip throughout which is so important to reiterate through healthy and safe sex behaviour.
Communication tips range from talking to a reluctant partner who is apprehensive about engaging in oral sex and well as ongoing communication during oral sex. She highlights the importance of communication during oral sex which is something I wholeheartedly agreed with sentiment.
Overall, I would recommend that you read this book, if not for you but for all the people that you go down on. We all like to think we are great at giving head, but it never hurts to expand one’s expertise in bringing your partner to a more intense climax.
Recommended for people entering their sexual years as a safe sex and a text that promotes safe and encouraging sexual practices. This book is not only a how to guide and an instructional manual – you should think of this book as a bible.
The how to make her cum repeatedly bible.
Jennifer is a marketer at Adultsmart! Embracing a non-judgmental stance, she believes in pleasure without limits—if it feels good and right, why not?
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