Discover Gender Fluidity Traits – Have you ever been curious about the man and woman within us all?
I can’t think of any two words in the English language more open to interpretation and misunderstanding than “masculine” and “feminine.” While many associate masculine with male and feminine with female, these terms delve much deeper in the realm of Tantra.
My Journey Discovering the Man and Woman within
When I first encountered these terms, I mistakenly believed that “masculine” referred only to men and “feminine” solely to women. To me there was no crossing over, there was only one or the other depending on what gender you were.
Since I embarked on my journey into the world of Tantra and conscious sexuality, I’ve discovered a profound truth. Every individual embodies both masculine and feminine qualities, each varying in prominence throughout different stages of life.
In Tantra, the concepts of masculine and feminine represent the two essential polarities that together form a complete whole. Think of yin and yang, positive and negative magnetic poles, or light and dark. Each pair exists together, yet each element represents distinct qualities within an individual.
Understanding these qualities within ourselves empowers us to become whole and complete. This way, we seek fulfilment from within rather than searching for it externally.
You see, many people who are not aware that they have everything they need within can spend their whole lives looking for others to fill them up. Some call this co-dependence, others may refer to it as love addiction. Either way, these people have not awoken to the reality that they are all they’ll ever need.
Many people may go through their whole lives living in this pattern, never entering into their full power as a human being.
Discover Gender Fluidity Traits
What is the Analogy Of The Pole And The Pole Dancer?
One of my favourite analogies describing masculine and feminine involves the pole and the pole dancer. The pole represents the masculine and the dancer represents the feminine. For a dancer to feel safe and supported, the pole must be solid, securely in place, and capable of supporting the dancer’s weight and movements.
This is necessary in order for her to flourish and express herself in her dance. If the pole is unstable or shaky, the dancer will feel she cannot let go and dance to her full potential.
What Is The Mature Masculine?
The mature masculine within each individual provides a foundation of safety and solidity, essential for navigating life with a sense of support. Those who have developed their masculine are great at holding space for themselves and others in times of need.
They are fully present, with no expectations or pressure on themselves or others to be anything other than what they are. The mature masculine serves as a solid rock, crucial for our stability to prevent overburdening our fathers, partners, or other men in our lives with our needs.
Many women are not familiar with the fact that they have all the masculine qualities within to make them feel safe and supported. Some women (myself included once upon a time) have what I like to refer to as the “knight in shining armour complex.”
They go around looking for a man who is going to be their saviour and make everything better. Little do they know that they can be all of that for themselves and then can enter into a relationship with a man from a whole and complete place.
What Is The Mature Feminine?
The qualities of the mature feminine include intuition, playfulness, emotionally expressive, vulnerable, grounded, love and compassion. When men and women are in their feminine, they are expressive with their creativity so often the most exquisite art comes from people who allow their feminine within to be free.
Like I explained with the pole/pole dancer analogy, the feminine expresses herself the greatest when the masculine is supporting her. Men certainly possess an inner feminine, yet they are often shamed for their emotions from a young age and, as a result, suppress this aspect of themselves.
This can lead to a whole range of issues including stagnation with creativity, blocked emotions leading to physical and psychological issues and seeking a woman outside of themselves for what they truly yearn from within. Many man never get an opportunity to fully explore their man and woman within.
The Masculine And Feminine Dynamics In A Relationship
In a relationship between two people, the qualities of the masculine and feminine naturally fluctuate between the two. Sometimes the man, who may be predominantly in his masculine within the relationship, goes through an emotionally turbulent time.
This means that he is living in his feminine. It may mean that the woman who is predominantly in her feminine enters into her masculine in order to hold space and support her partner. It is great for women to experience what it is like to be the more masculine partner and vice versa.
*Throughout this article, I speak from a heteronormative and cisgender perspective, this being for simplicity with wording. Each person no matter what gender or what sexual identity they identify with have an inner masculine and feminine within.
Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist
Explore Stephanie Curtis’s profound insights! A caring sexologist, she delves into spirituality, tantra with professional, articulate, interesting articles.
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