How To Ride Big Dicks

Like most gay dudes – I’m a self confessed Pop Freak.  It is not all about how to ride big dicks.  Trashy pop, diva pop, from Mariah, to Janet Jackson, to Australian Delta Goodrem and everything in between, if it’s pop I’m most likely going to like it. The thing is that the Pop Music industry is heavily driven by image, and recurring themes. Take some of the greatest pop stars on the planet, Mariah Carey and her heavily Diva’d image, Katy Perry and her fun popalicious ‘tude, and then Taylor Swift the ultimate sweet ‘country girl’ next door. That’s why when Ariana Grande brought out her new single ‘Side by Side’ I was a little confused. Seemingly sweet, innocent, affectionate Ari along with Rap Queen Nicki Minaj was blatantly singing about sex, and most notably, sex with big dicks (Minaj eloquently describes it as ‘Dick Tricycle’) or having sex so roughly that one would find it difficult to walk the next day. One could be forgiven for having a gutter minded attitude until Ari hinted on the white carpet at the VMA’s:

“That whole song is about riding leading to soreness”

Contrary to popular belief – there are Penis’s that are simply too big to use for some people – and whilst it may seem like a really good problem to have, it’s not. Some people out there will tell you that you need to deal with it, that some people aren’t as ‘lucky’ as you, and that you’re simply being selfish by either saying that your dick is too big for your partner, or your partner has too big a dick for you to deal with. Proclaimed friends will roll their eyes, and simply move on to what they deem as a more important issue. Here’s the thing though – it IS an important issue, and one that is often ignored.

The thing is that enormous dicks sound great and for the most part – they’re celebrated as being successfully masculine. ‘Hung’ sexual partners are actively sought out and if you take a look on grindr, or dating sites out there – there are a lot of people purely seeking ‘hung’ partners which in turn is leading to enormous pressure on males to have a ‘decent’ dick. Despite numerous research indicating the average penis size, males just can’t seem to escape the idea of ‘the bigger the better’. But the thing is, attempting to have sex with someone that just can’t fit it can be distressing for all involved.

Firstly there’s the anxiety. For women the anxiety can lead to increased dryness – which can decrease sexual pleasure dramatically. For men, anxiety can cause the sphincter muscles to tense up, leading to pain during anal intercourse, or worse, the inability to get the muscles to relax enough to allow for anal intercourse. On the flip side, a clearly anxious partner who is struggling to handle it can lead to a sense of failure for both. A person with a large penis who struggles to find partners that can accommodate it might develop insecurities, anxiety, erectile dysfunction, inability to climax etc. Primarily the unsuccessful attempt at sexual intercourse can be disheartening, and lead to feelings of disappointment, failure, lack of masculinity among other things. Some guys will take it personally as if the failure was on their part and that their sexual prowess is severely lacking. When it comes to sex, there is a far deeper complexity involved than the wham, bam, thank you mentality that some people have.

The solution here for anxiety is probably the most complex issue when it comes to large dicks – both must remain calm, collected and in control. To outright admonish someone and say that ‘there’s no way I’m fitting that’ can come across as hurtful. It’s not porn, where they go wide eyed, doe eyed, and state in some spaced out wondrous way ‘Omg, you’re so big, I’m scared that that won’t fit’ where four point five minutes they’re engaging in hard core sexual intercourse. No, it’s certainly not like the movies at all. The thing is that penetrative intercourse may not even be an option for that day but you must keep in mind that there are other sexual related activities that you can engage in, which includes hand jobs, blow jobs, foreplay, thigh fucking and a variety of other activities. Sex does not have to include penetrative intercourse. See, the thing that is complex about this one, is that once you know you struggle with his size it can lead to stressing out about the next sexual encounter and ultimately can put a dampener on, or even ruin, a relationships sex life.

Ride Big Dicks

Secondly, foreplay. No one quite knows why, though there is probably some ancient reason as to why, but during a heightened state of arousal – an individuals pain tolerance increases. It’s important that there’s a lot of foreplay involved for each partner when it comes to taking the big plunge. People assume that penetrative sex is a natural conclusion to sex. Why? Why can you not go from hand job, to oral sex, to penetrative sex, back to hand job, massage, sensual play etc. Sex is not, and should not, be structured. Consider foreplay like working out before going to the gym. If you immediately hit the heavy weights there’s high risk potential to injure yourself. Work your way up to it, and keep in mind that foreplay should not be one sided.

Thirdly, lubrication is important here. Don’t ever go dry, even if you are the type of girl that gets very slippery. Lube, lube and more lube. There’s no indication that you can under lube in this scenario. For guys, you need slippery lubricant, and long lasting. Silicone is ideal for anal play. Whilst i generally recommend going against numbing lubricants in favour of patience, foreplay, stretching toys etc, they can be of benefit.

Fourthly, your sex positions matter. Men can be impatient or not paying attention another’s body and reactions at times, so when considering sex positions, try and go for one where you’re the one in control. This allows you the power to alter the depth, speed, and angles until at least to begin with and this will help you relax. Communication will also help immensely here. ‘Not so deep’, ‘Slower’, and short phrases that clearly state your current feelings are going to be of the most benefit.  The good news for women, according to Gynecologist Lauren Streicher and author of Sex: Hormones, Health, and Your Best Sex Ever, is that she states “I have not once seen a patient who hasn’t been able to successfully have intercourse after taking the proper steps to fix the problem,”. The interesting fact here is that when properly aroused the vagina can expand by up to 200%! For men, and anal sex, it’s a little different. The anus and sphincter can be elastic and will generally accommodate most dicks. However, unlike the vagina, it doesn’t naturally expand and it’s important that extra care must be taken as well as the above mentioned advice which for the most part is pretty gender neutral.