Claudia Six, PhD, Clinical Sexologist & Relationship Coach, www.drsix.net and author of Erotic Integrity.
7 Experts Advice: When sex fades in a relationship, happens less and less frequently to not at all, there’s a very good reason why. When things get gummed up in bed, there’s always a way that it makes perfect sense. You can try tricks and toys, but you also need to open your mouth, and talk – to each other, not your best friend.
Talk about what sex represents for you (connection, release, a way to get to sleep, a spiritual event…). It’s ok if you have different answers – you’re different people.
Ask each other what you haven’t been saying, the stuff you’ve been afraid to tell your partner because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings. This is the time to be candid. Having difficult conversations actually has the most potential to boost intimacy and eroticism in a relationship.
Cassie Wolfe, PhD, Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Sex Therapist
Communicate. Communicate. Your needs are important and valued. It is common for life, work, stress, anxiety, having children, differing work schedules, etc. to get in the way. Make having a connection with your partner/s/ a priority, even if that means actually scheduling a specific time on your calendar. It’s also normal to have variation in one’s sex drive. Just remember that some partners experience responsive arousal – meaning they get more excited in the midst of foreplay (which reminds me – FOREPLAY!! Stop rushing and don’t forget FOREPLAY), while some can be more spontaneous. Focus on the quality over quantity.
Michelle Roberton
Sexual Trauma and Intimacy Expert
Often in our fast pace world we can loose connection with ourselves and our own bodies, let alone our Lovers. Stuck in our heads and goals, our body looses it’s mojo and so too do our relationships. I feel there are three major keys that firstly support us to be more connected to our self and then those same three keys support us to reconnect with our lover. We cannot give what we have not got, so it is essential I feel, to connect firstly to self so our connection with our lover has substance and authenticity behind it.
These three keys are:
Darren Michaels Flipside
Amory Jane
I think touch is extremely important and many people are touch-deprived and out in the world feeling lonely. I don’t think technology is the enemy though – I think it can be used for good to help connect people. However, I do believe that intimacy is something tons of people struggle with, and always being on our phones and computers can make it even harder to be present when we’re face to face.
I would advise people to make time every week where they tuck away technology and turn in toward each other. Focus on open and vulnerable communication or interesting intellectual conversations. If you don’t know what to discuss, search online beforehand and print off or write down prompts, and then really listen to each other.
I also highly encourage non-sexual touch while talking, like holding hands or cuddling. If you’re with someone where sex is an option and you’re feeling connected in that way, sensually exploring each other’s bodies (without a goal of orgasm) can be wonderful for building and maintaining intimacy.
Walker Thornton
Public speaker, relationship consultant and author
It’s an experience I’ve had just enough to know it is our most desired way of experiencing sexual intimacy. My best sexual experiences are those where I connect with my partner and we’re both aware of our mutual desire for pleasure. A dance has to have 2 active partners—it’s a give and take. Sex is no different. We learn by listening or sensing another’s body, we adjust accordingly and we flow together. There are plenty of men out there, of all ages, who consider sex as “sticking it in” and getting off. They don’t understand the importance of mutuality, nor do they understand the power of two people equally engaged and actively participating.
Dr. Stacy Friedman
Sexpert, Sex Coach, Intimacy Consultant
Want to reconnect sexually with your lover? Get out of your routine and try something different! Many times finding ways to reconnect can be something as easy as bringing in some variety. Have a night filled with learning your partners body, something that I like to call “Exploration Nights”! Our bodies are filled with erogenous zones that are never touched, kissed, licked or loved. Your body is not just lips, breasts, and genitals as it starts from the head and ends at the toes. Take advantage of slowly touching, massaging, and appreciating the little nooks and crannies that your partner has.
The crease of the elbow, the bend of the knee, the inner arm or the curves of the ankle…these can stimulate nerves and sensations that you never knew you had. Focus on the idea of feeling pleasure verse the idea of performance where you can enjoy the actual act of connection and intimacy rather than having the experience be all about the ins and outs of intercourse. What exactly does that mean? Being intimate is about being vulnerable and being in the moment.
Take the time to see how your lover reacts to your touch, how they move, the softness of their skin and talk about what you enjoyed the best. When you take the opportunity to just spend time enjoying each other and building the connection, it makes all the difference in your relationship and your sexual connection. You feel more in tune to your partner, how they feel and react to your touch as well as different things that they may enjoy, now that you took the time to explore.
To read more about how to truly build your intimacy on your “Exploration Night”, download your free digital copy of my new Amazon best selling book, “Confessions & Lessons of a Sexpert”, found on www.DrStacyBook.com or for a paperback and Kindle version, you can find it on Amazon.
If you’re looking for some simple and effective tips to reconnect with your partner, then you’ve come to the right place!
Relationships require constant effort, love, and attention. Maintaining that connection with your partner can sometimes be a task, especially when responsibilities and other commitments take over.
Life can become hectic, and sometimes your significant others suffer the consequences.
Time to Reconnect With Your Partner
1. Practice Active Listening
Active listening is a powerful tool for improving communication and fostering understanding.
Focus all your attention on your partner when they speak without interrupting or preparing your response. Show interest in what they’re saying.
Ask follow-up questions, and paraphrase their words to ensure you’ve understood correctly. Doing this sends the message that you value their thoughts and feelings and helps in deepening your connection.
2. Schedule Couple Time
Block out regular moments each week or month focused solely on spending uninterrupted time with your partner, be it a movie night, dinner date, outdoor activity, or an evening stroll around town.
Schedule activities you enjoy
Use this time to have meaningful conversations about life and your relationship. This is also an opportunity to relax and appreciate each other’s company without pressure or distraction from daily commitments or responsibilities.
Do make sure that these couple times are not canceled or interrupted by any outside events as much as possible. This is so that they become a consistent part of your relationship.
3. Physical Touch
Every sensory interaction can rekindle fading flames from heartfelt hugs to hand-holding, passionate kisses, and cozy snuggles.
Beyond its obvious physical pleasures, touch fosters an intimate emotional, physical, and mental bond. It forges a deep connection between partners. Intimate touch shouldn’t solely revolve around sexual expectations
And it can also be about exploring and savoring the sensations of your partner’s body while loving the pleasure of having your own body explored.
You can make it even more exciting by looking into the best Onlyfans in Australia to enhance your intimate moments.
4. Plan a Getaway
Get away from it all and plan a vacation or weekend trip together to help rekindle the connection you once shared with your partner.
Taking some time off work and dedicating it solely to your relationship can be very beneficial in helping both partners reconnect on a deeper level. Do some research on different locations and plan activities you would like to do together.
If a vacation isn’t feasible, organizing a weekend getaway nearby is also a nice option to explore.
This period of uninterrupted quality time allows you to address any underlying issues and create lasting memories for years to come.
5. Rediscover Common Interests
Feeling disconnected from your partner can often result from losing shared interests and hobbies. Finding common ground through shared interests helps to maintain a connection between two individuals and keep the excitement alive.
Take time to explore new activities that you can enjoy together.
You can create strong bonds and unforgettable memories to bring you closer together. It might be cooking or dancing classes, hiking, or trying a new adventure sport.
There are endless possibilities for couples looking to explore their mutual interests.
6. Show Appreciation and Affection
It’s easy to get wrapped up in our busy schedules and forget to show appreciation and affection towards your partners. But these actions aid in keeping your relationships healthy.
Expressing gratitude and affection makes your partner feel valued and appreciated, creating a positive relationship atmosphere.
Small gestures like saying “thank you” when your partner does something thoughtful or complimenting their strengths. Or actions can make them feel loved and valued.
Showing appreciation doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or a big production. A simple note, a random text message, or a thoughtful gesture like cooking their favorite meal can make a huge difference in your partner’s day.
7. Build Healthy Boundaries
Having healthy boundaries in a relationship ensures both parties are respected and heard. These boundaries are necessary for one or both partners to feel like they’re getting their needs met.
Set clear guidelines on topics you don’t want to discuss and be open to discussing any issues or problems that arise while also being willing to compromise.
Also be aware of when someone feels disrespected and address the issue to prevent it from escalating into a bigger problem between you. Building up trust over time will help ensure that your views are considered in every situation.
8. Seek Professional Help
Book an appointment with a relationship therapist or counselor to help you work through any deeper issues affecting your relationship.
A third-party, unbiased opinion can be valuable in making sure both parties are heard and understood without judgment. A professional can also provide strategies and tools to ensure communication between partners stays clear and effective.
Talk to your partner about attending sessions together and explore the possibility of finding a therapist you both trust. Consider in-person or online therapy options for convenience and accessibility.
My Final Thoughts
Relationships require constant care and attention.
When it starts feeling dull, don’t throw in the towel. By following the above tips, you’ll soon be back on track toward strengthening your connection.
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