When Someone Says They Want To End It!

At any stage in life a person may become depressed, sad, angry, resentful – especially when dealing with pressures externally that can include work, relationships, education, family, friends and more.  Most people will feel that sadness and hopelessness and move on but sometimes one or more of these problems remains and

just wont go away!

When this happens depression may be the result and this will change a persons life and outlook on life.  Small things that once were easy to handle will become big problems, difficult to handle and just not go away.  There are many signs to show that someone is becoming depressed and they include showing depression, emotional pain, irritability, make rash or irrational decisions, hopelessness, loneliness, disconnection, shame, isolation, exhaustion and generally feeling ‘trapped’ in their day to day living.

Signs that someone may be heading towards suicide will be increase in alcohol or drug use, withdrawal from family and friends, quiting activities, writing farewell letters, uncharacteristic risk taking, recklessness, fighting, crying, emotional outbursts, mood swings and general irritability.  There may also be health signs like changes to sleep patters, lack of energy, disinterest in personal appearance, loss of libido, change of eating patters, change in weight or complaints of chronic pain.

If you know someone that is displaying any or a number of these signs it is time to talk to them.  Ask them how they are feeling – that you are concerned about them – that you care about them.  Starting this conversation helps in many ways and may be enough to make that person feel less alone, isolated – never tell a person that their feelings or thoughts are invalid and try to listen without judgement.  If you think that person is in immediate danger do not leave them alone and ensure that you get them help to ensure their safety.

TELL

Even if your conversations with that person are ‘sworn to secrecy’ share your concerns with others that may assist in you ‘watching’ this person until they hopefully get their depression under control and contact professionals.  There are many online, telephonic and in person free professional services available 24 hours a day or contact any friends and have them talk to them about it too.  A list of some of the crisis lines are at the footer of this page.  These professionals will assist the situation and if intervention is required will co-ordinate it with the local health services.

They said they wanted to end it

So you have spoken with your friend and they may have opened up to you that they feel hopeless or out of control and they have said to you –

‘No-one can help me, it is hopeless’

‘There is no way out of this mess’

‘I just don’t fit in anywhere and never will’

‘What’s the point anyway – its never going to be better’

‘Its always my fault – I am to blame anyway.’

‘I am always on my own – no-one cares’

‘I am damaged and nothing can ever repair me’

OR MORE DIRECTLY

Written a suicide note or talking about death as being an option out.

Say they want to end it, or kill themselves, or want to check out.

Immediately let them know you are concerned and care.  Ask if they have made any plans. Take immediate action and do not assume they will get better by themselves.  Encourage them to get professional help on their behalf and do not leave it up to them contact 000, the emergency psychiatric team at your local hospital or contact online help for intervention.  It is better to have this person assessed safely, with or without their agreement, than take the risk that they may injure or carry out their thoughts.

10 Things Never To Say To A Person That Is Talking About Suicide

1. Why are you talking about this stuff?  Life is not so bad!
2. How do you think this will affect others around you?  How can you be so unkind not to think of hurting others!
3. Suicide is selfish!
4. It is a cop out, cowardly and an easy out!
5. Don’t be silly.  You don’t really want to die!
6. But you have so much to live for!
7. Things can only get better!
8. Other people have far worse problems than you and they deal with them!
9. You are just not prepared to face your problems
10. You will go to hell if you do it!

Regardless of what your feelings or emotions are towards this person you must put your own aside.  Even though you may feel angry, hurt, betrayed take control of those thought and feelings to try and lead this person through their crisis.

In Australia here are some of the suicide support contacts

Lifeline   13 11 14   24 hours a day

Beyond Blue –  Support

Suicide Call Back  1300  659 467

Sane Australia – 1800 197 263

Kids Help – 1800 55 1800

Emergency   000   24 hours a day

State Crisis Numbers

NSW – 1800 011 511– Mental Health Line

VIC – 1300 651 251 – Suicide Help Line

QLD – 13 43 25 84 – 13 HEALTH

TAS – 1800 332 388 – Mental Health Services Helpline

SA – 13 14 65 – Mental Health Assessment and Crisis Intervention Service

WA – 1800 676 822 – Mental Health Emergency Response Line

NT – 08 8999 4988 – Top End Mental Health Service

ACT – 1800 629 354 – Mental Health Triage Service

In most cases time, understanding, care and professional help will allow a depressed person contemplating suicide to overcome their issues.  This will hopefully ensure that they do not become a morbid statistic.

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