How we act in the bedroom sometimes doesn’t link in to who we are in our daily lives or the roles we have within our relationships. For example, you can find an independent person wanting to fulfil other people’s sexual desires, a masculine person who loves being demasculated or humiliated and a kind-hearted person who loves nothing more than to be in complete control. After sex, the time a couple spends in sexual aftercare.
It allows them to recuperate, relax, unwind, reconnect with who they are, re-establish lifestyle roles and become grounded within reality. A time where you can take care of each others physical and emotional needs.
Aftercare does not have to be an extravagant process
You just need to do your best to take care of your partner. Length of time spent in aftercare varies greatly depending on the level of physical and emotional exertion that is placed into the sexual experience.
Types of People Who Need Aftercare
Aftercare is needed for a variety of sexual experiences including BDSM, fetish play, couples sex, rough sex and anal sex.
-
BDSM
Most common people who will need aftercare are submissives, slaves and bottoms. As they have given over all their control to participate in a BDSM scene. Although dominants, masters and tops may need aftercare due to the physical amount of exertion they experience during the BDSM scene.
-
Fetish Play
Sexual aftercare is also important for people who have fetishes which are considered to be outside of the “norm” like macrophilia, female masking, golden showers or forced feminisation.
- Couples Sex, Rough Sex and Anal Sex
Aftercare is also needed for couples sex especially after they have experienced a wild sexual encounter that was heated and full of passion. It can also be used to soothe a partner who is deeply in touch with their emotions.
-
Some People Don’t Need Aftercare
There are also people who don’t need aftercare who are usually happy to relax by going back into their normal routine.
Types of Aftercare
Two types of aftercare including physical and emotional.
Physical Aftercare
This is needed as sometimes when people have sex, they can over exert themselves which will lead them to experience the shakes, muscle weakness, cramps, dehydration and drowsiness. Things you can do to take care of a person who needs physical aftercare.
-
Take care of their need for food or water.
Provide your partner with a cold or warm drink to help them rehydrate.
-
Regulate their temperature.
Ensure their body temperature is maintained with a cooling fan or a blanket.
-
Drive your partner home.
A person who has been in wild sexual encounter may be so weak they cannot drive themselves safely home.
-
Clean up.
You will need to help your partner clean-up. Provide them with tissues or a warm wet cloth to clean their body. Remove any sexual lifestyle products like bondage or fetish gear that may be near them. Take a shower together and help to find their clothes.
-
Relieve body tension.
You can gently take care of any tense areas on their body with soothing kisses, touches and massages. Hold them close, spoon them and rest together.
Emotional Aftercare
This is needed to re-establish a meaningful connection and bring the person back to reality. Things you can do to take care of a person who needs emotional aftercare.
-
Talk about each others feelings.
You can ask them how they feel about what had happened, what they liked and didn’t like or whether there was anything that could have been improved. Let them know just how amazing the sexual encounter was.
-
Provide reassurance.
Sometimes after someone has explored or participated in a sexual fantasy they need to be reminded that the sexual experience was normal. It can also involve telling someone that you love or appreciate them.
You may want to let them know that you don’t think they are odd or weird. If they are upset you can hug them and kiss them until they feel better. You are able to bring up the experience later on to ensure that you both are okay.
-
Let them know they are appreciated.
There is a certain level of trust that is involved in experience sexual intercourse with another person. They are trusting you with their body and mind to enjoy an experience with you.
Aftercare can also be used to show your partner that you appreciate the sexual encounter you had together. If you are about to jump into a BDSM or fetish scene, you are able to discuss and negotiate how you both may need afterwards to recover from the sexual experience.
This way you are able to predict and understand what your role is and you are able to prepare yourself for the needs of another person.
It is a good idea to always include aftercare in your sexual routine.
Every Girl Has A Little Bit Of 50 Shades of Grey In Them!
Okay, I am about to admit to something I am not proud of. In fact, I am completely ashamed of myself and have had trouble when I slept at night because of the weight of this secret.
Are you ready?
Here it goes… I like 50 Shades of Grey… isn’t that just the worst?
I was captivated by the 50 Shades of Grey books when they first came out and I watched the movie in secret multiple times when no one was home.
All my friends dissed it and they laughed about how it is such a horrible movie. I nodded my head in agreement with them while I secretly anticipated the release of the next movie. Have seriously considered the possibility to travel interstate to see the movie in the cinema.
Due to the fear if I run into someone I know in a Sydney cinema is too much to comprehend.
BDSM Community Not Happy With Portrayal
Many people in the BDSM community are mortified with the representation of the dominant and submissive relationship in 50 Shades of Grey. I agree that this movie does not do the BDSM community justice.
A dominant and submissive relationship is dynamic and would be extremely difficult to represent or interpret on the screen. If the movie industry showed a more realistic bondage scene, I don’t know whether it would go down well with a mainstream audience.
50 Shades of Grey franchise has done some great things
For female sexuality and empowerment.
I know there are countless people who would disagree with me. They may say that it is misogynistic and has degraded women but from my view, it has put sexuality out in the open. This can be seen when you think about the high number of women of all ages who sat on public transport and have openly read the book.
When you see how much women have had to suppress their sexuality and sexual desires in the past, I am amazed at how far we have come when we can read erotic fiction in public and no one bats an eyelid!
Exploring Sexuality
50 Shades of Grey franchise has caused many individuals to explore and experiment with their sexuality. I have seen these effects when I worked at Adult Lifestyle Centres as over the last few days. Have had multiple men come in who have asked for Ben Wa Balls.
Their wives and girlfriends had instructed them to buy them after they saw them featured in the 50 Shades Darker movie.
Ben Wa Balls in the Movie
In the movie, Christian Grey who is a dominant male instructed Anastasia Steele who is the submissive female to insert the Ben Wa Balls into her pussy before a special event.
At the end of the night, he gave her a spank on her bottom that shook the balls inside her which provided her with waves of orgasmic pleasure.
In my experience, this is not an exaggeration of the power and pleasure these sex toys provide!
This is why they are my all-time favourite sex toy!
They provide remarkable pleasure when you go about your day. If you wear them for the sexual play they are great for your pelvic floor muscles. Some of the many great sexual effects of a strong pelvic floor include stronger orgasms, decreased occurrence of urinary incontinence and ease of recovery with childbirth.
I have many beloved brands of Pussy Balls and Kegel Exercisers.
My collection includes the Je Jou Ami Kit, Svacom Nova Balls and Nalone Yany exerciser. But today I have reviewed the L’Amourose Mya Beads in Pro from their Black Diamonds collection. L’Amourose sex toys are simply incredible and the Mya Beads are no exception.
L’Amourose have perfectly described the Mya Beads as
“Incorporating an elliptical shape, microvibration design, and a responsive, easy to clean exterior, MYA Beads represent a potent combination of practicality and pleasure.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself… but I will at least attempt to.
L’Amourose Mya Beads are extremely elegant. They are presented in a simple black box with a bow and sturdy black storage case. L’Amourose Mya Beads in Pro is a plum colour.
It has a connection harness made of a super soft silicone and the beads are securely encased in a phthalate-free and FDA approved hard plastic. L’Amourose Mya Beads include a single setup and a double bead setup. A single bead weighs 39 grams and the double weighs 76 grams.
L’Amourose Mya Beads don’t have changeable weights.
Unlike other sex toys in the adult market such as the LELO Luna Beads or the Nalone Yany Exerciser
I can see that not being able to take the beads out can make it a little bit trickier to thoroughly clean the setup. But a soft toothbrush or the usage of cotton tips would be able to get into the small spaces easily enough. Mya Bead’s shaking vibrations are subtle compared with other brands. I see the larger weight size inside the casing could be for that reason.
For me, the differences are small. But if you were after something that will have a greater shaking vibration, then I think the LELO Luna Beads are the way to go.
An incredible thing about L’Amourose Mya Beads
Superb quality and 18-month warranty with a lifetime guarantee. This means that you are covered for any manufacturing damages for 18 months. After the 18th-month warranty expires, the lifetime guarantee will give you 50% off a replacement.
There are countless cheaper alternatives on the market. You want a sex toy that has an 18-month warranty with a lifetime guarantee? Luxuriously designed and will elegantly give you the 50 Shades Darker experience you have always fantasised about?
Then The L’Amourose Mya Beads are the sex toy for you.
About the Author: Sophie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres
Meet Sexpert, our full-time sex blogger! With a background in women’s lifestyle blogs, she brings expertise to Adultsmart and runs Good Girl Guide too.
Leave a Reply