Breakups are a touchy subject, especially when you are under 25 and you feel like without that special person, your whole world is going to crash and burn. They took your heart, ripped it up and you over dramatise that you will never find a man or woman again. You continue to quote Tupac by telling the world through social media that “it’s my destiny to be lonely” and stay at home and eat junk or drink because it eases the pain. Really it actually doesn’t ease the pain, it actually just fuels your self-pity and deters you from acknowledging the fact that you are in complete control of how you feel. Not saying you can’t have your sad moment and your time to mourn, but be an active mourner. You should take this crippling heartache and turn it into a motivating factor to really grab life by the reigns and take charge.
Whilst you are reading this, just know that I am in a loving and healthy relationship which took me 5 years to manifest. However, when the chips were down and all I wanted was salsa, I told myself that the only way that I will get over the heartache was going through was to stick to a few simple rules. These rules not only helped me find the love of my life, but they made me. They made me a much stronger, wittier, healthier, cunning, and confident member of society. Here’s the thing, everyone is looking for love but the ones who find it are the ones who aren’t searching for it. The ones who are so engulfed with their own personal development, self love and growth. They are focused on going out and having fun, not going out and finding love or getting laid. If you follow these very simple habits and tips that I am going to forcefully give you below, not only will your life improve dramatically but the chances of you bouncing back and finding love or even just fun and companionship will sky rocket.
Let’s get you on a bigger comeback then Tyga’s breakup with Kylie. I mean this man survived what no man before him has… a Kardashian breakup.
MIND OVER EVERYTHING.
The biggest thing to do is accept the fact that the relationship is now in the past. Don’t hold any resentment, negative feelings or hurt towards it. There is no point holding onto something that you can no longer control, this just drains your emotional energy and does nothing for you. Instead, thank the universe for allowing you to have the time and the fun moments with that person (if it was toxic, thank the universe for removing that person from your life). Tell yourself that you are no longer going to hold onto any resentment, instead you choose to have a growth mindset, be grateful for every aspect of life (including the bad) and you welcome all positives to flow abundantly into your life.
PLAN YOUR REINVENTION.
Sometimes when your down in the dumps and all you can think about the past, the best thing to do is to look forward and think about your future. Take the time to breath, sit down and start re-writing your goals for your work life, fitness and well-being and relationships. Plot out who you want to be in the next year and what you need to do to become that person.
PRIORITIZE YOUR APPEARANCE.
Go and get a haircut, sign up at the gym, chuck out all your junk in the pantry and go and get some new clothes. You can trick your mind into thinking your in a more confident place by dressing and feeling the part. You’ll be walking down the street in 6 months and your ex will turn around and say “Oh fuck you look good”.
BUILD FRIENDSHIPS THAT POSITIVELY AFFECT YOU.
You are who you hang out with. If you hang out with bums, you’ll become a bum. If you hang out with fun, enthusiastic and optimistic people, you will most likely become like them. This is your support system. You want to be around people that push you and motivate you to be better, not drag you down to the dumps.
DON’T STALK THEIR OR THEIR FRIENDS SOCIAL MEDIA OR BAD MOUTH THEM!
This is a big one. You don’t want to hold onto negative thoughts and constantly thinking if they have moved on or not. Refer back to point 1. Keep your mind positive and focused on yourself. You will soon forget about them because you are so engulfed in your own growth. No one likes the person who constantly bad mouths their ex or talks down of them. Don’t speak about them all.
GO FULL THROTTLE WITH LIFE.
Don’t hold back on going out. Don’t hold back on chasing the job you want or the career path. Don’t leave any juice in the tank. Go outside of your comfort zone and try things that you normally wouldn’t… chicken feet, sushimi, korean food, that new restraunt down the road, anal, you know all the crazy stuff!
Go TO THE GYM!
This one is pretty simple, even 3 workouts a week will do wonders for you life.
By using these simple 7 tips, you’ll be on your way to getting over your break up in no time!
AJ is a consultant at the Oh Zone Stores and is available to help with your adult needs.
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