If you think about your ex-partners you’ll fondly remember the good and the bad things that they did during sex. You’d remember which ones hit the spot, and which ones didn’t. Which ones you had to fake it with, and which ones you could barely stop the drool on your chin from anticipation of that moment because of the great sex. It’s pretty amazing really when you think about it because the ultimate end goal is the same with each one. What you really needed was some effortless sex tips.
For research purposes I looked up what other people thought made great sex partners.
Women’s Magazines were pretty generic and included things such as not being judgmental, focusing on your partner’s needs, ability to laugh at yourself. Stuff relating to your mental state as opposed to your physical state. In essence, they were targeting the right areas but just not saying going that one crucial step further.
Men’s magazine like Australian Men’s Health had such delightful comments such as they love giving head, they are physically fit, and they have a good body shape.
Yeah, um, no.
Both of them focused on the idea that paying attention to your partner is important and that you need to forgo your own sexual desires at times to please them.
This is probably the most accurate of the statements, but still it’s simplistic.
It’s more than that. Bet it’s not as complex as how redbookmag makes a hand job seem.
‘Men love to be stroked, fondled and handled with authority by expert female hands—and they love watching a woman take manual erotic control of them’.
I laughed for a long time when I read that sentence.
Are they speaking plainly or are they sugar coating a hand job to make it sound seductive? What? It’s a hand job – not an atrociously bad Mills and Boone Novel with ‘Manual Erotic Control’. It’s almost akin to drving a car. Wheres the fun in that? Expert hands? (I’m taking the gender pronoun out of this – because I’m sick of the lack of sexual diversity in these ‘tips’).
It’s bullshit.
Not everyone likes hand jobs, not everyone likes giving/receiving oral pleasure and to reduce great sex to these tips. These tips are generally so heteronormative with stock photos of good looking couples. But they generally focus on the physical pleasure of the situation.
Tips that focus on the mental pleasure are the way to go.
It’s All About Connection
See, the fact is we all do things differently, our movements, our rhythms, our bodies, our shapes and sizes, even the way we move our tongue. It’s about a connection. You’ve seen those couples, and you’re wondering why they are together.
We’ve all done it, sitting there during lunch, brunch dinner, or having a drink at a bar and you make the offhand comment to your friend/partner/colleague and you giggle as you wonder why they’re together.
None of these so called sex tips speak about ‘connection’.
I’ve been working in the Sex Industry for almost a decade and I’ve seen all sorts of couples. I distinctly remember this one couple, loved up, cute and apparently having the best sex of their lives. They’d tell me about it, how they’d have a long afternoon session and it wasn’t even all about penetrative sex or tongues, or even body parts.
Intimacy Is Key
For them, an afternoon of sex was about intimacy about touching, feeling and laughing. You could hear it when they spoke about it. Some strange mysterious connection that whenever they got together. They didn’t give a damn about the rest of the world – they created their own world, their own space and when it shattered they laughed about it and moved on.
They were two bodies together, exploring, having fun, and absolutely being in the moment.
So you’re sitting there thinking well what is this guy on about.
What makes great sex?
The answer is as simple as it is complex – not giving a damn. Being in the moment, let it flow and just follow the grind. It’s about pleasuring the mind, which is most likely why that time you had sex in the change room despite it being an awkward quickie was probably mindblowing sex.
That ex who you’d fight with constantly, but the second their arms were around you you turned into a quivering and horny mess.
Effortless Sex Tips
Great sex is about accepting who you are, accepting your flaws, having body confidence and accepting theirs. An ability to have a laugh when it doesn’t go to ‘plan’, the idea of not actually having a formulaic plan to please your lover.
Here’s the secret. There’s no one way to have great sex.
You can read all the tips on the internet, know exactly how to move your tongue, and physically please your partner. But you can still not be the best in bed. People are reluctant to let go of the idea of having great sex.
So hell bent they are on discovering the secret they are absolutely convinced that there must be something tangible that gives access to great sex. There’s not. You can be reductive and say that it’s about understanding your partner’s body and mind and you’re not going to be wrong.
How can you teach someone to understand their partner’s body?
You can learn, but without that connection you’re not quite going to reach that final step. Most people insist that it is some physical way of moving (Because, like, they tried this move on three chicks last week and they all went nuts man. Or, I moved my tongue like this and two dudes last week came like that *Snaps fingers dramatically*).
People sometimes feel that they must sacrifice a part of themselves to have great sex. Or forgo their own likes and dislikes to achieve that mysterious mind blowing sex that your best friend seems to have.
All. The. Freaking. Time. Leaving you sitting there, wondering am I bad in bed?
If you forgo your likes and dislikes you’ve already lost the battle.
You’re doing something you can’t stand, you’ll never achieve the pinnacle because you’ll be focused on the idea that you’re doing something you don’t like to please someone else. If you’re on your knees sucking dick or whatever it is your doing and you’re wondering if they’re liking it, you’ve lost the battle.
Let go, seriously. Just let it go.
Relax in the moment and just do it. It’s like your special pair of underwear, the pants that you put on when the world seems dark, that instantly boost your mood, your lucky pants. There’s absolutely no reason why they’re special, no foundation but for some reason they make you feel better.
Grab that feeling, that blasé-ness, and ride it all the way to the top.
A Siri-ously Great Sex Toy!
I’ve been intrigued by the company ‘ohmibod’ for a while due to their unique vibrators that translate music into vibrations (which I though was an amazing unique idea).
But when I saw one of my favourite sex toy company LELO, come out with a sex toy boasting this same feature I knew I had end up doing a review on it sooner or later.
Lelo has made a sex toy called Siri 2 which is a Siri-ously big deal. More so than a lot of people it give credit for . At first I saw the Siri as just a unique little device that some people can have some fun with if they are into its main boasting feature. But after doing a bit of research and going hands on with the toy I can safely say that The Siri 2 is definitely a potential vibrator replacement all together.
In my opinion a great alternative to the LELO’s other palm clitoral massagers.
Music is a wonderful thing.
It can be relaxing or it could pump your heart rate up for a workout, it can convey messages of meaning or help you express your own feelings. Music is all around us and can usually be apart of everything we do even behind closed doors.
Typically music is used to create mood and romance in the bedroom. But weirdly enough there are sex toys that take advantage of the power of music and turn them into rhythmic sensations.
What does Lelo Siri 2 Do?
LELO Siri 2 guarantees intense sound-controlled vibrations and 8 preset vibration modes. It has a smooth, straightforward outline made of astounding, body-safe silicone and is USB rechargeable. Even accompanies a 1-year guarantee with 10 year warranty, sachet of lubricant, tasteful glossy silk storage pocket and a smooth box!
With all the makings of an unfathomably top of the line sex toy, the LELO Siri 2 doubtlessly doesn’t baffle. Waterproof and submersible. It can go as far as one meter under water which is perfect for bathtub fun.
Lelo Siri 2 has an amazing design.
Sexy and sleek and comes to round point which makes it great for clitoral stimulation. Because it fits great in your palm it makes a great area massage as well.
Device itself is rigid and doesn’t have much flexibility which is a positive or a negative depending on preference. Exceptionally ergonomic. It’s simple to hold and store in your end table or while going on vacations.
It has a long, round, dainty shape that is 4 inches in length, 2 inches wide, and 4.5 inches around at its biggest point. It’s somewhat more slender at the part which holds the controls, and feels altogether smooth, easy to hold and control.
Materials of Lelo
One end of the sex toy is plastic. The top half is covered in silky smooth and soft high grade silicone which feels amazing on the skin and even better when combined with good quality lubricant.
Water-based lubricant is the best type to use as it help the sex toy last longer. The whole look and feel is exquisite, smooth, and tasteful.
Vibrations of Lelo Siri
- Some shockingly capable vibrations.
- It holds an astonishing measure of force that are rumbly and of a high caliber that thoroughly wow any demanding clitoris.
- Vibrations are packed in the silicone bit of the toy, precisely where you need them to be.
- Pin-point delight or a more wide sensation.
- Rechargeable lithium ion battery which means it won’t get weaker when you are running out of charge.
- Takes about an hour to fully charge the Siri 2 and you get double that in usage which is fantastic.
Using the Controls
When you have the Lelo Siri 2 charged, the controls are anything but difficult to utilize. Majority of the buttons are somewhat recessed, extravagant, and oblige a somewhat of a more extended touch to initiate them. You won’t unintentionally change the setting or turn it off mid-session.
Easy to use. A total of 4 buttons where 2 of them control the modes and the other 2 control the different intensities. So that means you can have different levels of power for each mode you are on.
How to Use the Lelo Siri
- You press the plus to button to turn it on and elevate the power of the vibrations.
- Press the minus button to bring down the force of the vibrations or turn it off.
- Sex toy can even be locked so you can travel safe and it won’t turn on while in your pack.
- Feels like there are 9 particular intensities of vibrations from a light thunder to an extreme thunder at its most elevated that is more capable and rumblier than the LELO Mia 2.
- Force is about pace with the most reduced setting of the We-Vibe Tango. Same rumbly-ness, and just marginally less power, yet quicker.
- This vibration would be ideal for almost anybody, in light of the fact that it has a ton of force without being overpowering.
Lelo Siri 2 vibration intensities can be utilized over 8 modes that are musically themed
In addition to a surrounding sound controlled setting. The preset modes should copy distinctive sorts of musical tunes. But feel basically the same as the regular vibration designs you may be used to.
Shockingly, the vibrations are amazingly rumbly and effective for it’s little size, and the mixture of velocities and modes is really energizing. In fact it’s twice as powerful as its predecessor.
What’s incredible is that it holds so much rumbly power but its whisper quiet. Siri 2 is super discreet which is amazing if you live with others. Another advantage of being whisper quiet is that you won’t have an annoying buzzing while trying to lose yourself to the music.
Music and Vibrations
For me, it didn’t work as I thought it would as the vibrations do hop around, however it feels more arbitrary than to the beat of what I’m listening to. The plastic elixir of the toy has a little gap in the back, which I accept received the sound.
So when I grasp the Lelo sex toy, it beats each maybe a couple seconds, which appears like it compares more with my heartbeat than the sounds around me. When I hold it up to music, its unquestionably vibrating to something, however doesn’t generally compare to the beat of the tune.
Before attempting it with a couple of distinctive sorts of melodies and beats, it simply felt really irregular.
LELO Siri 2 is totally heavenly
Significantly more capable than I was anticipating. Overall the Siri 2 is a great vibrator packed with awesome features into a small device.
Siri 2 is a unique powerful and discreet vibrator that will keep you entertained. This vibrator is truly the complete bundle, and genuinely the characteristic of extravagance! It’s beautiful and immaculate in all ways.
This great little toy definitely deserves a place in your drawer whether or not you are a beginner or an experienced user.
To clean Siri after use, it’s as simple as washing the personal massager in some warm antibacterial soapy water.
Jennifer is a marketer at Adultsmart! Embracing a non-judgmental stance, she believes in pleasure without limits—if it feels good and right, why not?
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