Flirting can be seen throughout the animal kingdom. From the fluttering of a birds whimsical feathers to the bottlenose dolphins displaying highly efficient swimming skills paired with the affectionate rubbing of pectoral fins.
For a lot of us, flirting doesn’t come as naturally as an animal instinct and can unfortunately feel extremely awkward. It takes careful thought and consideration before we are able to step into the world of flirting.
Why do People Flirt?
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To gauge someone’s interest
Flirting can be used to understand whether someone else is romantically interested in them by gauging their reaction; Whether they happily engage in flirting or whether they ignore it.
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To change a relationship
People often flirt to gain a closer, romantic and passionate relationship with someone they desire. Flirting can be seen as the initial step before dating.
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It can lead to sex
Flirting can help create a mental desire to arouse someone to have intimate relationships with the person.
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For personal gain
People flirt to motivate someone to perform a task whether it is a household chore, asking for a holiday or asking for a present.
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For fun
Some people flirt to develop joyful interactions with people they may not be physical or mentally attracted to. This can be seen when friends flirt with each other.
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To let people know they are desired
Flirting is a good way to let people know they are attractive. It does not necessarily mean they would like a sexual relationship but encourages a person to understand they are desired. A good way to help build another person’s confidence level and self-esteem with sincerity.
The School of Life define this type of flirting in more detail:
“Good flirting is in essence an attempt dreamed by kindness and imaginative excitement to inspire another person to believe more firmly in their own likeability, psychology as much as physical.
It is a gift offered not in order to manipulate but out of the pleasure of perceiving what is most attractive in another. Flirting matters because how rarely we get to experience ourselves as desirable. “
Why is Flirting Important
Just like the odd behaviours within the animal kingdom, people also engage in an enormous amount of flirting rituals some of which are more subtle than others.
Some subtle gestures include brief glances with a friendly smile, the opening up of body language, moving closer to a person they like. Brief physical touches to show interest and playing with hair.
There are more noticeable flirting techniques that include long glances across a room, the flexing of muscles to make a man’s body appear bigger. People who purposefully talk with more of a masculine or seductive tone and body language that takes up a protective amount of space.
Most obvious form a flirting is when people use pickup lines.
We have all either received, given or heard an opening line be served to someone. They are a great method to break the ice by either arousing someone, creating a joke that can be laughed at or gives people something to talk about.
There is a large variety of topic based pick up lines to choose from including foodie, nerdy, sweet, sexual, knock knock jokes and much more.
Below I have listed a couple of my favourites
- Take me to Papa John’s because this is love at 425 degrees!
- Damn girl, I must be reading a book because you are fine print!
- Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I scrapped my knee falling for you.
- I’ll kiss you in the rain so you will get twice as wet!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Honeydew, Honeydew who, Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?
Flirting can be exceptionally enjoyable, exhilarating and adventurous.
Particularly if you are engaging in flirting with someone you barely know. As you don’t have to be worried about whether you will see them again. Can only become terrifying if you attempt to flirt with someone you actually care about.
It is a good idea to use flirting as a way to gauge their interest in whether they would like to date you.
If you are planning on flirting
Don’t talk heavily about problems within your personal life and don’t drink too much as you can get sloppy.
Some people are also very oblivious to whether they are being flirted with, if this is the case you may need think of making your flirting more obvious.
Like everything else, the more you flirt the better you will become at it. It is recommended to continue to flirt within a romantic long-term relationship. So your partner is given the confidence to understand how you feel about them.
10 Ways To Easily Fall In Love Again
Sometimes the passionate flame that you used to hold with your partner slowly begins to fade. You have grown so used of each other that everything has become a mundane pattern of coexistence. Although you both love each other, the time that you used to cherish together has now been taken for granted.
Dr Terri Orbuch the author of “5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great” says.
“Passionate love is the love of arousal, excitement, newness and mystery, and [it] happens at the beginning of a relationship. On average, passionate love tends to decline after 18 months.”
Can you say that you are still passionately in love with them?
- Do they still make your knees weak like how they used to?
- Can they make your heart race when they look into your eyes?
- Do you feel a passionately charged connection when you spend time with each other?
If your answers to these questions is a resounding “no” than you are in luck.
Re-establishing the feelings of falling in love with your partner is easy because the foundation of love is already there for you to build upon. Choosing to reignite your flame with your long term partner can allow you to create loving moments together full of passion.
10 Ways To Easily Fall In Love Again
1. Remember to do the little things
Recall the warm, personable and sincere moments that made your partner feel loved at the beginning of the relationship. When you are spending time with them re-create these moments.
You can try holding each others hands, eskimo kissing, snuggling whilst watching TV. Listening to your love song together and letting them know you love them with unspoken signs of love.
Write “love you notes” and place them in areas your partner can randomly find them. Send a caring SMS when you are apart. You can even try being a classic romantic by placing rose petals on the bed, buying them a chocolate gift box, opening up a bottle of wine and organising a picnic.
2. Attempt to Flirt With Them
This may sound strange but there is nothing better than seeing your partner attempt to flirt with you.
Although the flirting may not work, you will be able to show them you are motivated which can mean a world of difference. Flirting can also help to make them feel aroused.
3. Recreate your first date
Do you remember the time you first met? The first time you held hands? Or the time you first went to a restaurant together? Ask your partner out on a date and make it special.
Let them know you will dress up for the occasion and ask them to do the same thing. Put on your best outfit, get a haircut and wear some perfume. Same effort you would if it were your first date in order to impress them.
4. Invest in couples sex toys
Make your relationship lifestyle easier and use couples sex toys. They can make your love life turn into an amazing experience that brings something new to the table.
5. Re-examine your attitude
Openly communicate with each other and always take what your partner says into consideration. You will both need to spend time re-learning how to talk to each other in a more passionate way.
6. Find out their interests
Get important information about them that you can use to enhance your relationship. An important question may be “What’s their favourite colour?” This question is useful if you are looking for a gift to buy them.
Or you can ask “What are their favourite hobbies, movies and TV shows?” This question can help you learn what type of things they enjoy which is useful if you wish to plan events.
7. Arrange time to spend together
Making time for your relationship is the one change that you will always need to rebuild your passionate relationship and sexual lifestyle.
8. Make new plans
New plans that you can do together as a couple and organise activities that your partner will enjoy. Activities can help you get you away from the pressures of daily life.
9. Find your own passion
You need to develop your own hobbies to build your own identity outside of your relationship. This will help you rediscover your self as well as giving your partner sometime to rebuild themselves to. They always did say distance makes the heart grow fonder.
10. Work out
Unfortunately as much as we love eating food and relaxing, we all have a tendency to gain weight. Working out will make you feel better and show them you are trying to make a change!
Meet Sexpert, our full-time sex blogger! With a background in women’s lifestyle blogs, she brings expertise to Adultsmart and runs Good Girl Guide too.
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