Long Distance Intimacy
Long distance intimacy can be challenging, but it’s absolutely possible to keep your connection strong with the right approach. This article provides answers to common questions couples face while navigating long-distance relationships. From communication tips to creative ways of maintaining closeness, you’ll find practical advice and helpful tools to bridge the gap.
Answering Your Long Distance Intimacy Queries:
“Hi Oz, My girlfriend has recently had to move to Sydney for work while I have to stay out west for uni. Do you have any suggestions for what can help keep us sexually active together, even when we’re so far apart? We do see each other every week or two, but we both enjoy sex a lot more than that. – WH”
Hi WH,
Thanks for your email. You, my friend, are in luck. The world of adult entertainment, be it porn or toys, has always been at the forefront of technology. Remember when Blu-Ray first came out, at the same time so did HD-DVD? Don’t remember HD-DVD, that’s because it disappeared when the porn industry decided to exclusively use Blu-Ray. The same happened decades earlier when VHS and Beta video both hit the market.
Interactive Toys Allow You To Interact Sexually When Apart
At the moment, there are a range of different brands out there offering very interactive toys for people in situations like yours. Probably the best out there has been developed by Kiiroo. They have a range of devices for him and her available, all available to interact on the free Feel Connect app.
For her, there’s the Pearl 2, Fuse and Cliona. The Pearl 2 is a strong solid regular vibe, the Fuse is the rabbit version. The Cliona is an external toy only. For him, the Onyx 2 delivers possibly the most realistic blowjob-like sensations out on the market, while adding a Fleshlight Launch to your regular Fleshlight will turn it into an interactive thrusting toy that takes you closer to penetrative sex, with needing to stroke as you go and save you a lot of cardio.
In saying that, the Kiiroo range, including the Fleshlight variatations, can be quite pricey. We-Vibe is one of the leading sex tech brands out there, and all about adding a new level of fun to couples both near and far. Utilizing their free We-Connect app, one is about to take control of their partner’s device, from anywhere in the world.
Have You Heard Of The We-Vibe Sync?
The We-Vibe Sync is easily the most popular couples toy, and with its ergonomic u-shaped design, it provides both internal and external stimulation for her. It’s great for teasing her on date night as well as for an extra buzz during penetrative sex, but I feel it wouldn’t be the right toy in your circumstance.
Perhaps she’d rather the Nova, a bulbous g-spot rabbit vibe that will really get her over the edge. For you, the Verge is a vibrating cock ring that while designed to vibe on your perineum, is quite versatile and you can turn it around with playing together to stimulate her clit, or use it as a way to supercharge your finger action. The Vector is a nice rumbly prostate toy you may enjoy, or the We-Vibe Ditto is a vibrating anal plug that’s fun for either of you to use.
Interactive Toys Will Keep Things Hot
The above mentioned toys are all about interaction, taking an active role in exactly how your partner gets off. Their apps both feature in-app video connections, but if you’d rather take matters into your own hands (so to speak), there are plenty of regular free apps out there to connect with video chat functionality.
You can always check out the best couples sex toys of 2024 to get further ideas too.
To maximize this visual aspect of play together, for you I’d suggest a Fleshlight Ice. It’s similar to a regular Fleshlight, but the sheath is clear, so she can see all the goodness going on within.
For her, and for the majority of women, it’s all about clit play. Some fantastic, rechargeable bullets are out there, notably We-Vibe’s own Tango, Femme Funn’s ultra bullet, or The Queen from Evolved, a rumble toy with a flared base to allow for some insertion play too.
You Can Make Molds Of Each Other!
Lastly, if you really want the sensation of being together, and want to go old-school and lo-fi, why not make a mold of each other? Clone-A-Willy provides everything you need to make a dildo exactly from your own penis, just as the Clone-A-Pussy will provide you with a familiar feeling pocket pussy.
5 FAQ’s about maintaining sexual intimacy in long-distance relationships:
- How can we keep the spark alive sexually from a distance?
Regularly schedule intimate virtual dates, use video calls for flirtation, and try sexting or suggestive messages to build anticipation. - What are some tools or toys for long-distance intimacy?
App-controlled toys allow real-time interactions, and high-quality webcams can enhance virtual intimacy, creating a more immersive experience. - Is it normal to feel disconnected sometimes?
Yes, feeling disconnected is common. Open communication about desires and needs helps you both feel closer and more supported. - How can we build anticipation for our next visit?
Discuss shared fantasies, make a countdown, and plan activities together to build excitement and strengthen your connection. - Can setting boundaries help with virtual intimacy?
Absolutely. Establishing boundaries and understanding comfort levels creates a safe space for both partners to explore virtual intimacy confidently.
These Non-Sexual Tips May Also Be Very Useful:
Maintaining intimacy in a long-distance relationship requires consistent effort and creativity. Regular communication is key—schedule video calls, phone chats, or virtual date nights to keep the connection strong. Send thoughtful messages, photos, or surprise gifts to show appreciation and remind each other of your bond.
Sharing daily experiences, even small moments, helps bridge the physical gap. Planning future visits and discussing shared goals also creates excitement and strengthens commitment. Building emotional intimacy through open, honest conversations can deepen the relationship, making each partner feel valued and connected, no matter the miles in between.
Good luck, and have fun!
Oz answers your sexual health and relationship questions.. He is a consultant at the Oh Zone adult stores.
Facebook Is Hurting Your Love Life
Social media can be a double-edged sword, especially in relationships. We explore how Facebook Is Hurting Your Relationship by creating distractions, fostering jealousy, and reducing meaningful communication.
Admit it, we all have that one friend who just splashed their relationship all over Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Using social media to air all of their ‘dirty laundry’ or, even worse, we may be the ones spamming our friends with posts about our spouse.
Every Single Moment Does Not Need To Be Shared
I’m not old-fashioned, or anti-social media. In fact, I spend much of my free time at home just scrolling through my Insta and FB feeds for entertainment. But unlike some other people, I feel as though there are some things that shouldn’t be splashed on the internet for the whole world to see.
Answer me this, if you’re a serial Facebook spammer… how would you feel if your significant other called all of their friends and your friends to tell them that you ‘didn’t take the garbage out’ or that you were ‘useless at everything’? Unless you’re a narcissist, you have to agree that it would hurt, even just a little bit. ‘It’s just harmless venting. It’s not that bad’ – Yes it is and here’s why:
It blocks or breaks down communication in a relationship
It has the other person watching everything that they say just in case it ends up splashed all over social media. People aren’t stupid (…well, the majority anyway) we all know that passive aggressive post about all the beer in the fridge being drunk and not replaced or the house is a mess, is about your SO. Come on!
It makes everyone feel uncomfortable knowing things that happen behind closed doors
Especially if they have to spend time with your spouse or both of you. Call or message your bestie and have a vent, because the rest of us don’t need to see it.
It also puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship
The constant sickly ‘kissy kissy boo boo’ and ‘Bae is so good to me, we’re so in love’ posts are just as bad. **News flash** These inevitably turn in to the above type of posts when the honeymoon period is over and you take off those rose-coloured glasses. It’s all flash, no substance.
I love to see photos of happy couples celebrating relationship milestones and read the affirming messages that go along with those pics. But everyone over the age of 16 will probably agree with me when I say – Nobody cares that your boyfriend/girlfriend just sent you a heart emoji text message.
It feeds mental health issues and insecurities
When you go from every post being about how much you’re in love in those first few months, to settling in to a long-term relationship where you have to negotiate the day to day stuff, then you might start to feel insecure about your relationship. Especially if you suffer from a mental health issue like anxiety or depression and have built a reliance on that continual public affirmation.
That constant craving for the ‘honeymoon period’ public affirmation may mean that you develop the inability to move past that point in a relationship. Keeping you in that perpetual cycle of love and heartbreak.
If you’re an attention seeking narcissist then, by all means, keep going with your public showboating. But if you’re normal human being, keep your relationship private. It’s not about how many likes you get from friends and family or how ‘open’ you are about your relationship on social media. Actions speak louder than words. A relationship (as well as all of its issues) is based on open communication and trust.
So, use social media wisely. Think before you post.
So What Exactly Do I Get Out Of Limiting Social Media?
Limiting social media use in relationships can strengthen emotional connections and improve communication. By spending less time online, couples create more opportunities for meaningful, face-to-face interactions. This leads to deeper conversations and a better understanding of each other’s needs and feelings.
Reducing social media usage can also help eliminate unnecessary distractions. When couples focus on each other instead of scrolling through feeds, they are more present in the moment. This enhances intimacy and allows partners to feel more valued and heard.
Boundaries!
Setting boundaries around social media can also foster trust. For example, agreeing to not check each other’s social media accounts removes potential sources of jealousy. This encourages partners to communicate directly about concerns rather than making assumptions based on online activity.
Additionally, less time on social media helps couples avoid comparing their relationship to unrealistic portrayals. Instead of feeling pressured by idealized posts, couples can focus on their own unique connection.
Lastly, taking regular breaks from social media encourages healthier habits, like spending more time outdoors or engaging in shared activities. This allows couples to bond over common interests, creating stronger emotional and physical ties.
What Are 5 FAQ Regarding Social Media And Love?
How can social media harm romantic relationships?
Social media can create misunderstandings, jealousy, and insecurity in romantic relationships. Constant online interactions and comparison to others may lead to distrust or emotional distance between partners.
Why does Facebook create tension in relationships?
Facebook allows access to personal information, including interactions with others. This can lead to feelings of jealousy, especially if one partner engages with someone their partner perceives as a threat. Resulting in causing arguments and unnecessary tension.
How can social media lead to communication problems?
Relying on social media for communication can reduce face-to-face interactions, leading to weaker emotional connections. Misinterpretation of online messages can also create confusion and misunderstandings.
Does social media create unrealistic expectations in relationships?
Yes. Constant exposure to curated images of “perfect” relationships on social media can cause unrealistic expectations. Partners may feel inadequate if their relationship doesn’t measure up, leading to dissatisfaction and frustration.
How can you protect your relationship from the negative effects of social media?
Set clear boundaries for online behavior, communicate openly about any concerns, and prioritize offline time together. Ensuring that your relationship remains based on trust and honest communication is essential for overcoming the potential harms of social media.
Last week I learned a lot about the award-winning company from Amsterdam, Kiiroo that specialize in sex toys for Long Distance Love Sessions. Kiiroo partnered with Fleshlight to create the inner sleeve of the Onyx and secured a worldwide distribution deal. I was told by a friend about these toys existence 2 years ago so had a basic idea of what they did but after asking a few questions and having everything shown to me by one of the brand’s representatives, I am now in love and have a few of their toys on my wish list.
Whether you are single, in a relationship or even in a long distance relationship these toys will work for you. To get the full experience with your product you’ll have to download the 2 free apps to your phone called FeelConnect and FeelVR. For Android owners, you will find the app in your play store and for Apple, it will in the app store. Once you have downloaded both of these apps the fun begins!
https://www.tiktok.com/@ellianapantazis/video/7192048286549986561
Kiiroo Products For Solo Players
The first thing you’ll need to do is purchase yourself a Kiiroo product.
Kiiroo Products For Men
For men, you have the Onyx2 which is also compatible with the Fleshlight Launch and VR headset. The Launch is an automatic stroker for hands-free fun which can perform up to 180 strokes per minute and the VR headset is for the virtual reality porn you can download through the FeelVR app. Once you have purchased any Kiiroo toy you must let it charge before you can start using it, with the Onyx2 the initial first charge is 4-6 hours and every time after that is 2-3. Plug your charging cord into your toy and the other end into a wall dock.
The light should go from blue to red and then once fully charged you should see a solid green light. While your toy is charging I would suggest downloading your apps and registering your product for the 1 year warranty. After all of that is complete, you now have an account and your toy is fully charged you can now start to play around with your new toy.
The Onyx2 has 10 contracting inner rings that can perform up to 140 strokes per minute, your toy has a touch-sensitive control panel for increasing and decreasing the speeds. Surprisingly, it is super light and quiet considering how much technology actually goes into to the toy. The sleeve is made out of body safe materials which are soft and easy to clean.
Pull the sleeve out and spray down with your Fleshlight toy cleaner, leave the cleaner on for a few minutes then wash down with some warm water and once it has completely dried place some Fleshlight powder all over the inside of the insert and leave it there till you use it again. Be very careful with cleaning, the toy is not 100% waterproof.
Kiiroo Products For Women
For women, you have Pearl2 the G-spot vibrator, Fuse the rabbit vibrator and Esca the egg style vibrator to choose from. All 3 toys are made out of body safe silicone. You’ll have to charge these toys for about 2-3 hours before you can get started so again I’d recommend downloading your apps and registering your products for warranties during this time. Each one has a single control button, hold down for 4 seconds to start the toy up, the first setting will be a blue light which means you can connect your toy with the app or another Kiiroo product. Press the button again and you will start getting into your vibration speeds and patterns.
Again, some of these products are not 100% waterproof so be careful when cleaning but the Pearl2 is completely waterproof so you can easily and effortless clean the vibrator. For G-spot stimulation the Pearl2 would be best for you. If you’re one of the many women in the world who needs clitoral stimulation the Fuse would best suit you. Esca would also be good for G-spot stimulation but this is a leave in toy, so you could even give it a go with wearing this toy out in public.
Connecting These Sex Toys To The FeelVR App
With all of these products if you sync your toy up with the FeelVR app you can experiment with the virtual reality aspect of the toy if you have a VR headset. If you don’t you can still connect with the standard videos, you’ll feel vibrations that are in sync with whatever is happening in the video e.g. If the girl is giving a blow job, every time her head moves down you’ll feel vibrations up and down the multiple sensors in your toy. You can also connect live with your favourite cam girls and porn stars.
NOTE: With silicone toys you cannot use silicone lubricant or you’ll destroy the material.
Couples Play
Now, one of the questions I asked the Kiiroo brands representative was if the toys would also work for gay and lesbian couples. Their products can cater for all couples in the LGBTQIA+ community as they do offer different combinations for couples. This year, Kiiroo is also working with Pride in the USA.
Kiiroo Products For Straight Couples
For straight couples they can either purchase the set which comes with the Onyx2 and the Pearl2 or if the woman would prefer one of the other toy options you’ll have to purchase separately.
Kiiroo Products For Lesbian Couples
Lesbian couples can choose 2 of the female toys, I personally have my eye on the Pearl2 and the Fuse instead of having 2 of the same.
Kiiroo Products For Gay Couples
Gay couples could either purchase 2 of the Onyx2 or 2 of the Pearl2 and place an anal stopper on the end of each toy or mix and match.
Setting Up Kiiroo Products With Their Apps
One of the things I found whilst researching a bit more about these products is that they have a lot of videos on YouTube explaining how to set up and use the toys with their apps. I’ll post a link here to help people connect their toy with their partners, whether they are in the same room or on different sides of the world they’ll have to connect them the same way.
How To Connect Your Device To Your Long Distance Partner’s Device via FeelConnect
So basically once you have connected your toys to each other all you have to do now is start touching the toys to start the fun. They all have touch sensitive zones that starts up the vibrations in your partner’s toy e.g. if the female is running the tip of her Pearl2, her partner will feel vibrations and movement in the tip of his Onyx2. I’d recommend studying your products and learning exactly where the touch sensitive zones are so that you know where you need to be to target certain areas.
Long Distance Love Sessions
I hope this review has helped you understand how amazing these super advanced toys really are! If you’re interested in purchasing one for yourself here is the link to all of our currently available Kiiroo products… These are some of the craziest high-tech sex toys in the world!
(Fuse will be available soon!)
Author: Elliana is a consultant from Adult Lifestyle Centres
FEAR: Love is fear is something in a relationship that had previously taken on a whole different meaning. Fear should not mean you are fearful of your partner.
This week I had a huge wake up call in my life, I learnt a very valuable secret about love and relationships.
Fear is actually a very useful feeling within a relationship if you pay attention closely to the reasons why you are a fearful.
An Explanation of Love is Fear
It is an emotion that will surface within any relationship as it is a crucial feeling. But it doesn’t always have to end badly.
It is so incredibly normal to feel fear within a relationship, as it is normal to feel scared, insecure, doubtful. And not completely in-touch with your partner.
Unlike previous experiences I don’t feel scared of my partner. I feel scared that the relationship won’t work out. And I am not insecure because my partner makes me feel that way. I feel insecure that I am not good enough for him.
And I am not doubtful of my partner. I am feeling doubtful that I really can love this person to the best of my ability.
Nothing is actually wrong.
But yet I feel challenges that are different to previous feelings I’ve had.
Marianne Williamson explains in “a return to love” that relationships equate to earning a PhD in love. She says
“When we’re not in a relationship, the ego makes it seem as though all the pain would go away if we were. If the relationship lasts, however, it will actually bring much of our existential pain to the surface. That’s part of its purpose. It will demand all of our skills at compassion, acceptance, release, forgiveness, and selflessness.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Most people assume love means no more pain, no more troubles, no more arguments, and no more fears. But truth is love brings out all these feelings plus more!
Doubt, rejection, jealousy, anger, frustration and confusion.
All those emotions show us how much we are invested into the relationship. And if it is worth all these emotions.
We only ever hear about the good things in relationships
Yep, we do not learn about the all the other emotions. When these emotions do surface we become confused and stumped and we begin to doubt our feelings of love.
We all know relationships take work. But we also are told that love will always conquer.
Truth is we are told relationships shouldn’t be hard, but they are.
Relationships are Hard – Fact.
They make you question every sense of your being, they make you question if the person with you is right for you. If you can handle all their quirks, all their bad habits, all their good habits or if its love or hate.
We need to look at the fears we have and invest into the reasons why we have those fears.
True love isn’t just a fairy-tale with only happy endings. Love will make you feel the whole spectrum of emotions the good and the bad.
Pinnacle of romantic love
Is the aspirations we all have in life to one day experience.
The part I struggled with is that I had only ever been in abusive relationships.
That has skewed my interpretation of love and hate, of struggles and of fear. What I have learnt is to never believe that there is something wrong with your relationship just because it seems to be challenging at times.
Greatest challenges you face will be within your greatest love relationship
This is the relationship you will question yourself the most.
Question your partner the most and truly have an internal argument back and forth with yourself about if this is what it really feels like.
Love will never be easy.
Relationships should be amazing, deeply loving and you should feel truly connected with your special person. But remember there will be hard times. There will be boring times, there will be mediocre times and there are times where your fear will get the best of you.
I’ll let you in on some feelings I have that I have never experienced before in this capacity.
As of recently I have been questioning myself.
Questioning myself as to if I am truly good enough, if I deserve this kind of love. Or if all the fears I am feeling are latching onto the doubt and insecurities I have from previous relationships.
Previously my gut told me that if my partner didn’t message me he was not interested anymore and previously I was correct.
The difference now is that when my partner doesn’t message me he is busy at work or driving or is asleep.
Previously when I felt insecure about myself
It was because my partner had made me feel that way with his actions and his comments. Now when I feel insecure about myself it is because I am struggling to believe I deserve this amazing person in my life. And I want to be the best I can be for him and for me.
Fear stops you momentarily from being the authentic and vulnerable self that you are. And fear tries to trick me into being someone who I am not.
The old me would believe these fears and allow it to ruin a good relationship by over thinking a situation.
But the new me can stand back and assess the reasons why I feel these fears.
Fear is simply the amount of love I have for that person
Less walls means more vulnerabilities which means I am more my authentic self then I have ever been before.
Anxiety makes you feel that these fears are bad and damaging.
But love means these fears are you. You are your true authentic self completely open, completely vulnerable, but also so full of love.
Love over fear
Both are such powerful emotions. If I remember this every time doubt fills my head, the more I will be my true self and the more love will flourish in my relationship.
Love is finding the compassions, forgiveness, truths, and the peace that will stop our greatest fears from surfacing.
What we have to understand is that the greatest relationship is where our grestest fears will come to the surface the most. It will challenge every part of you but it will also make you and your relationship stronger.
Relationships take our courage and commitment
To make us work for it, fear will make us understand true love in its most profound sense.
I wish it was at this point that I could tell you how best to stay calm when fear arises. And how best to tackle the situations of fear when they arise.
Truth is I can’t.
The truth is only you can accept and understand when fear comes into your relationship and be able to step back and asses why.
When you completely put your heart, love and fear into someone, the more clarity you will begin to have and begin to appreciate.
Love is your most authentic self. Only our greatest love will get to experience our most authentic self.
Feel The Beat With Rianne-S Heart!!
The Heart is a handheld heart shaped personal massager manufactured by adult company Rianne S which was founded by Rianne Swierstra in 2010.
It is her mission to celebrate women. And encourage them to explore their sexual desires and sexuality to create a fulfilling sex life for themselves.
Rianne designed the iconic Forbidden Fruit, with which she posed for Playboy Magazine and earned an AVN award nomination.
She also creates vlogs
Rianne has become the go-to person for Benelux media outlets when it wants a fresh and female point of view on sensual accessories and sexual wellness.
Her aim is to provide women with sex toys that are tailored to be experimented with for the ultimate sexual satisfaction. Rianne the designer, actually designs burlesque clothing.
When you see this toy and how it is packaged that comes as no surprise.
This brand really gives its closest competitor, JimmyJane, a run for their money. JimmyJane and Rianne S both are of equal price and aesthetics values.
Rianne S Heart is absolutely gorgeous.
In fact, all of Rianne S sex toys are equally as good looking as each other. Alongside Rianne S Moon this heart shaped vibrator takes the cake to a whole new level of ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’.
Rianne S Heart is one of the smallest handheld vibrator that I have seen.
Features of the Rianne S Heart.
- It is fairly light and measures 5 cm x 5.5 cm.
- A small heart that comes in three colours including French Rose, Deep Purple, and Coral Rose.
- Golden ABS plastic trim around it. I hate using the word plastic as it gives the impression this toy looks cheap, and it really doesn’t.
- Main body of the heart is 100% body safe and made from high quality silicone.
- Feels silky velvety smooth, slightly soft and is of high quality.
- There is a touch of a drag but I like that.
It keeps you rolling it around in the palm of your hands feeling the pleasurable sensations going throughout it as it is very tactile.
Presentation and Packaging
It comes in a beautiful box so that the Heart can definitely be given, as-is, to anyone as a gift. Would make the person receiving it feel very loved as it is a well thought out gift idea.
It thinks of everything from the packaging to the “heartfelt” heart inside it.
Like all Rianne S products I have come to the conclusion that they all feel like the ultimate luxury.
They are kind of like getting that haircut you have always wanted or buying that piece of clothing that makes you feel sexy.
Unwrapping the Heart
Inside the packaging itself is the same colour as the Rianne S Heart inside. It is packaged as if it were like an expensive perfume. There is a ribbon printed on it and a raised mock stamp.
A ‘With love’ message written in italics with three kisses in the corner in gold. Inside the heart is presented on a black base. This hides the USB charger cord, an instruction booklet and a cool little Rianne business card.
It is perfect for long term storage and will look good on any bedside table.
Rianne S Heart is really easy to operate.
There is a hole in the silicone, to plug in the charger. You get a full 2 hours use out of it when it has been charged up. One tiny button under the silicone that you press and hold for a couple of seconds.
Then press again to scroll through the settings. I also want to mention the little heart light that blinks on and off under the pink silicone while it is charging.
It is so cute and reminded me of ET.
Features
10 settings. 1-3 constant and increasing. 4-8 different pulses. 9-10 a mix.
I love the pulsing settings of the Rianne S Heart. They are really quite rumbly. and the shape and the silicone disperse the sensations all over the sex toy. Its heart shape means you can use it for pinpoint stimulation.
Or you can cup the dent in the heart around your clit.
It is the ultimate in cool discreet toys
Very reasonably priced and a perfect addition to any girls handbag. If you do ever have to explain what it is… they will just want one too.
Leave a Reply