One question that normally comes up when we sexually compare ourselves to other people is “Am I good enough?” This question can impact all areas within someone’s life. Including their career, hobbies, personal contributions to the community, financial success and sexual performance. It is asked to form an opinion that impacts feelings of self-worth, self-image, self-confidence and your sexual ego.
This question can impact us quite deeply. Especially when we criticise other areas of our sexual lifestyle.
Two of the most influential factors of how we feel about sex, is the way our body looks and how we sexually perform.
Psychotherapist and Certified Sex Therapist Gila Shapiro Says
“Our bodies house our sexuality — it is through the body, essentially, that sexuality finds expression. So being aware of just how we feel about our bodies, is revealing.
Of course, the way we see our body is highly influenced by magazines, billboards, TV and web ads that offer us idealized images of what our bodies ‘should’ look like, even though these images have little relationship to what most of us actually do look like.”
Sexual Ego
Other ways our sexual ego is impacted is the amount of affirmation we receive from other people. As well as, when we compare our personality to what society views as important.
For example, men may feel they have to be masculine and confident to attract people. Women may feel they need to be sultry to feel sexually confident.
Although ego can be a burden that leads us to criticise ourselves, having an ego is important. It provides the motivational reason for people to aspire to be a better version of themselves.
Letting go of a negative sexual ego can give you the confidence to discuss new ways to explore your sexual personality. Try new sex positions and experiment with sex toys that can enhance your sexual lifestyle.
Easy Techniques to Help Manage Your Ego
It is a good idea to implement some of these easy techniques to help manage your ego. With time you will be able to manage your personal thoughts and how you choose to respond to circumstances in your life.
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Don’t compare yourself to other people
Everyone is built differently. Something which may work for one person, may not work well for another. You will need to set personal goals that are realistic to find out what works best for you and your partner.
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Focus on the journey
Your sexual experiences can be more enjoyable if you take your time to enjoy the moment. And perform to the best of your ability rather than worrying about the outcome.
If you do experience setbacks look at them as an inspirational challenge to be a better lover. Sometimes setbacks can help us define what our realistic expectations should be.
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Find honest opinions
Ask for honest opinions about your sexual skills. You may need to ask your current partner, an ex-girlfriend or a former lover. Ensure the person you will ask you has had sexual experiences with you in the last 2 to 3 years as your skill set can drastically change between times.
Question you may ask include; Were their sexual needs fulfilled? What did they enjoy the most? Or how could you improve your sexual skills?
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Ask your partner what they need from you
When we get so involved with performing to the best of your ability. Take a step back and listen to your partner’s needs. Your partner may be asking you to spend more time creating a passionate connection.
You may be busy trying to make her/him orgasm to your hearts content but is that what they actually want from you at that time? Compromise with what your partner needs in the bedroom.
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Improve your self-esteem
Find ways to enhance your self-esteem. There are many other things within your life that make up who you are. Have a look at your personal traits and understand how they positively impact your life. Maybe you are emotionally connected with your feelings or you’re great at socialising. To build your self-esteem, you can take your time to pick two hobbies that you enjoy to build new skill sets.
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Don’t blame yourself
Blame achieves nothing. You can always take steps to improve your sexual lifestyle.
Sex in Space – It’s Intergalactic!
Intergalactic intercourse. Copulating in the cosmos. Who wouldn’t want to join the 62 Mile high club? Is it even possible to have sex in space and most interestingly, has anyone ever tried it? I have a fascination for all things futuristic and these questions make me very curious.
It’s not just me. I am not the only one interested in this stuff. Ever since films like Moonraker showed a suspended James Bond seemingly floating around in a space ship having sex, people have loved the idea.
There was a recent crowd funding project by Porn Hub which almost got off the ground. Raising over $250 000 towards making a movie about sex in space, project ‘sexploration’.
Project Sexploration
They approached various private spaceflight companies but to no avail. Virgin Galactic were offered 1 million to let two people have sex on board their craft but politely declined.
Although no porn has been filmed in space there is a movie called “The Uranus Experiment Part 2” which filmed a zero gravity sex scene in a plane. (You know, when they fly a plane really high and then let it free fall).
Apparently it was a logistical nightmare and the couple only had 20 seconds to get the shot due to the cost of the whole process.
Sex in Space – Has it Happened?
A lot of people presume sex in space must have happened because there have been so many manned mixed sex trips into orbit and into space.
As far as anyone knows it hasn’t happened yet. NASA completely denies it. There was a famous very convincing hoax that still does the rounds today. It was about a couple who were supposedly commissioned by Nasa to do a study on sexual positions in space.
People thought ‘The study’ cited in the book ‘The Mission’ was a real study. A document, which could be found on the internet apparently concluded only 3 of 10 positions were possible. Missionary position was not one of them. It also claimed you would need straps harnesses and a sleeping bag like tube to make it successful.
Well I could have told you that.
I find it hard to believe that NASA aren’t studying this with gusto.
There is no doubt in the future we are going to have to find ways to populate places other than Earth. What is the point of any space exploration if we aren’t able to find ways to reproduce once we are there?
Science tells us that there are going to be problems having sex at a most basic level. Without gravity once a couple are attached to each other when they push against each other they will fly off in opposite directions. Like skaters on ice, they just keep on going drifting into everything.
Blood pressure is much lower and that isn’t good news for erections.
Then there are the sweat and fluids that occur during sex. Gravity would pool them all into big horrible floating globules that you wouldn’t much want to drift into. Cleaning up would be a nightmare. There is no doubt there will be difficulties, but it is possible.
Producing babies may be a different matter.
We have spent millions of years evolving in world with gravity. Bones and muscles exist because of gravity. That is why astronauts have to be so vigilant about exercising in space.
It looks like we may end up giving birth to real life jelly babies!
There is also too much radiation in space for creating life.
They would have to find a way to counter that. NASA have so far done experiments with rats and mice up in the space station, with varied successes. Rats could mate ok. They even produced a foetus that survived once back on earth, but not in zero gravity.
Rats raised in zero gravity couldn’t stay the right way up. So we humans would probably end up with jelly babies that just rolled around randomly bumping into balls of bodily fluids. Yuck.
As of 2009 NASA has been planning long term missions for space colonisation.
There are many more factors to consider aside from the physics of the act itself. Not least of all the psychological factors. There is the fact that there isn’t room for big crews on board the current vessels and stations. And those few people can be together for a very long time, relying on each other for each other’s survival in an extremely hostile environment.
Throw sex into the mix and there are bound to be extra emotions involved. Then there is the close proximity and the isolation, which would take their toll on any individual let alone a relationship.
Gravity Chambers for Sex
There is work currently being done on creating gravity chambers but they would be very small. That is great for sex, but not so good for 9 months of pregnancy.
There is also work being done on creating a garment that astronauts could wear that would make low-effort intimacy possible. Whatever inventions are in the pipeline someone is eventually going to have to come up with a way for us to have space sex.
Even Steven Hawking himself said the very survival of the human race will probably depend on our discovering ways to survive the harsh and extreme environments of space. And that man knows what he is talking about.
Meet Sexpert, our full-time sex blogger! With a background in women’s lifestyle blogs, she brings expertise to Adultsmart and runs Good Girl Guide too.
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