The Games We Play: Exploring BDSM in Relationships

A topic that has been quite a taboo for many years has become mainstream thanks to the now renowned book – 50 Shades of Gray and all the sequels. More and more couples are willing to explore the sub dom relationship as a way of introducing something new into their sex life and also as a sure means of deepening their relationship.

The benefits of including BDSM in your relationship are numerous and far exceed the simple carnal pleasure. And in case you are still unsure whether or not you are ready to take the next step, you are welcome to read on and find out a bit more about this particular sex practice.

Trust Is the Most Important Factor

Trust is key for any relationship to work. But introducing unorthodox sex practices into your bedroom asks for a far higher level of trust. First, you need to feel comfortable with your partner to open up and tell them exactly what you want to try and explore. Then if you opt for introducing BDSM into your relationship, especially the role of the submissive and dominant side you need to be comfortable with relinquishing control.

Not only that, but you also need to trust your partner sufficiently in order to be able to show this side of yourself completely and without restraint, otherwise the pleasure and satisfaction that comes from this particular sex practice will be left out and you both might end up disappointed.

Don’t Rush Into It

Now that we have discussed the importance of trust for this particular kind of sex practice, it is essential that we talk about the time it will take to introduce it into your relationship and your bedroom. It is imperative that you don’t just jump into it trying out anything and everything at the same time. Yes, you might be excited, even quite inspired, but rushing is definitely not the right option for this particular activity.

You are still unfamiliar with either your own or your partner’s boundaries, so introducing it little by little is the best possible option. Start with a bit of bondage, this we will discuss further on in the text, then continue with some more straight forward verbal communication and then finally finish up with the introduction of some props. Each step will show what causes you pleasure and what you don’t feel comfortable with.

Try Role-Playing for Size

Of course, BDSM practices include a bit of theatrics and dramatization. But actual role-playing might help you relax more and feel freer to explore. You can use different names, think of various scenarios you want to explore or even go so far as to use masks. Why not? If you are insecure when it comes to expressing your innermost desire, maybe doing that while being someone else might help you feel more liberated. And it can also be very fun and pleasurable, if nothing else, it will definitely introduce something fresh into your sex life.

The planning period is as important as the execution itself, especially with BDSM. You need to state clearly what you want and don’t want to happen, which practices you are comfortable with and which ones you don’t want to try out. And finally, you both need to decide on the safeword, especially during role-playing when it can be unclear whether you want someone to stop or continue, especially in a sub dom interaction.

Learn to Use Costumes and Props

In the past, BDSM was usually associated with black latex and leather, but a lot has changed in the last couple of years. Of course, if leather and latex are a part of your sexual fantasy, by all means, use away. However, if you are new to these practices you can start off light. First and foremost use light bondage options like silk scarves and complement that with gentle whips. And as you go on further with exploring that intricate boundary between pleasure and pain you can use sturdier rope and more effective toys and bondage techniques.

But remember, a lot of BDSM practice is related to verbal communication as well, so be prepared to use words in combination with props to get the ultimate experience. In addition, when it comes to purely costume options, there are no strict rules, and a lot of it depends on the scenario you chose to go with for that particular role-playing session.

You are now more than ready to start this journey of sexual exploration. But keep in mind that both you and your partner need to be on board for this and that open communication is key for a successful implementation of BDSM into your sex life and more importantly your relationship. As you have concluded based on this article, it is more than just a sexual game, it has an effect on your entire relationship, pushing you to be more open and honest with each other.