Working at Sexpo over the weekend supporting Adultsmart Lifestyle Sexual Wellness Centres. It was amazing to attend an enthralling, eye opening weekend!!
I was quite excited to attend and it was amazing fun working with colleagues and getting out there.
Events and festivals like this give us an opportunity to promote a sex positive vibe. A lot of people that wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable walking into an adult store come here.
These festivals and events are also important in making people comfortable with sex and sexuality. They open the way for people to think about their bedrooms and relationships.
Sexpo Australia
One of the things that I repeatedly noticed was simply the lack of information on sex, sex toys and alternative lifestyles that many people had.
Our stand at Sexpo focused on steel and kink toys.
To be fair, kink and fetish adult toys are often misunderstood, But there were some things that were said that were so far off the mark that it was a wonder that they made it through the door!
So if you came to visit us, or if you passed by the stand at Sexpo and were a little confused, I have written an article that kind of summarises some of the things that repeatedly came up over the weekend.
Chastity is not about Trust
One of Adultsmart’s exclusive fetish brands is Hell’s Couture. They have a large amount of chastity and chastity play gear.
Having only recently becoming involved in chastity myself, I’m not only very excited to talk about chastity (that damn honeymoon stage). But I’m also quick to point out corrections that need to be made.
Sure, we might joke that chastity is about trust. That’s perfectly okay. For some there are elements of trust involved.
Chastity however, at its core, is about power and control.
By locking up the very thing that makes a male a man, his dick. And then preventing him from using that when he wants you are essentially controlling his masculinity, agency and him.
Think about it. Ever since he discovered that he could tug himself off and achieve orgasm with relative ease, he’s been doing that. Now, you lock him up and tell him that he can’t!
Add to that the idea that he has to please you and he might get released… and you’ll quickly find it’s a fun power play.
We have numerous articles on chastity throughout this website, including how to measure up for a cock ring correctly correctly. So if you popped on by over the weekend and aren’t sure how to measure up, check out that article.
Sexpo Tips – Don’t yuck someone’s yum
Hell’s Couture has about a thousand different items within the range. At Sexpo we couldn’t take the entire range. We took an assortment of interesting things designed to not only spark up a conversation, but also to educate.
Several times over the course of the weekend, people would come on over to our stand, pick something up and be like ‘What the &^%$ is this?” After telling them, they’d drop it like a hot potato and run for the hills screaming bloody murder.
Don’t Begrudge other People Their Kinks
There’s many things in this world that I have hard limits on, but I don’t begrudge other people their kinks.
As I was telling a lovely couple over the weekend just starting to explore their fetish and kink desires – you do you. Bondage and restraints can mean so many different things to different people.
That’s why there are so many different bondage roleplaying ideas. For the couple over in the corner, they might feel that silk restraints and a lace blindfold is heavy bondage for them.
For another couple, silk and lace is just way too soft and they require leather pieces, a ball gag, and some heavy duty rope. They’re still doing the same activity, bondage and restraints.
You do you.
Sexpo Tips – Don’t Yuck Someone’s Yum #2
We also took a variety of medical fetish toys including sounding gear and speculums.
Sounding toys aren’t for everyone. For many men the idea of sliding a steel rod down their cock hole is just way too much for them. I’ve tried it and didn’t find pleasure in it.
But would I do it to someone else if they enjoyed it? Absolutely.
Many things in fetish and kink, and indeed the Hell’s Couture range is primarily mind over matter.
Steel is aesthetically hard core.
It instantly creates a specific mindset, and a particular state of being that is essential to getting into the right scene.
Consider the idea of a woman walking into a room in wearing black and red latex gear carrying a whip. That image instantly creates a particular feeling and scene.
If she were to come in wearing a pink plaid skirt and a white school shirt, carrying school books then the scene is completely different. In one, she’s clearly being more dominant. And in the other the idea of the school girl as being less dominant.
Sounding is not about pain.
Out of the three tables of stock, we only took one item that primarily centred on pain – that being Kali’s Teeth.
Sounding toys and gear is about stimulating an area of the body that’s not normally stimulated. It’s described as a reverse ejaculation. That feeling you get as the fluid rushes through the urethra, and that’s pretty much it.
You insert the rod. Slide it down. Either have sex or jerk off with it. It’s not about control or trust, and it’s certainly not about pain.
Nothing replaces the human touch
One of our pride and joys that we took to the Sexpo show was one of our sex machines.
We had this thrusting away the entire weekend. It not only received many compliments, but it received a lot of photographs and comments.
One of the comments that stuck out was the one that simply said ‘Well, you wouldn’t need me then, would you?”.
A seemingly innocuous comment but one that certainly needs to be addressed. Myself and colleagues have heard this many times when working in the stores as well.
Many people view sex toys as replacements to a sexual partner. They’re not. Sex toys are (mostly) used with the idea to supplement a couple’s pleasure. To ensure that everyone is having fun.
What about Sex Robots?
Sex robots are a completely new category and which we’ll discuss elsewhere. Sex toys work with partners, not against partners. It’s simply about providing a different sense of stimulation.
You are still in control of the sex toy. It’s merely an extension of you and not a replacement.
Sexpo Tips – Respect and inclusivity
One of the most amazing things I saw over the weekend was just how inclusive the event was. There were people in diverse relationships, and numerous people with physical disabilities.
What was amazing was this visibility. The idea that everyone can have sex and pleasure. Many times we neglect these groups because we don’t understand them. Or dismiss them as being non-sexual as is the case of what many people do with people with disabilities.
Everyone has a need for sex, pleasure and intimacy and it was a truly amazing experience seeing this reflected in the crowd.
Sexpo Tips – Research
Education takes time. It’s really difficult to describe certain scenes, and BDSM toys in the space of 30 seconds. That’s one of the most disappointing things about shows and festivals like this.
You want to intimately describe some of the toys and items. But there’s simply not enough time. For this reason, it’s important when it comes to kink and fetish, that you do your research.
What is important to Remember?
No matter much research you do that it’s never going to be the equivalent of doing it. Like we mentioned earlier in this article, you do you.
There are times when you may not even use a toy as it was intended. You might use it for completely different reasons.
Sexpo Tips – Sex toy teamwork
Many of the toys that you may have seen on the kink and fetish table are not stand alone toys.
Let’s take for example, restraints.
- Cuffing someone to the bed can be hot.
- You can have your own way with them.
- They’re vulnerable and they’re helpless, which is part of the appeal.
- Now let’s add a blindfold to that.
- A blindfold is not as effective by itself.
- But when you team this up with the cuffs, all of a sudden you up the tempo.
- Not only are they cuffed, but they also can’t see either.
- Now let’s up the tempo even further with a pair of nipple clamps.
- Blindfolded, cuffed whilst the nipple are stimulated.
- You can even up the tempo even further with something like the Wartenberg wheel for some truly sensory fun!
When it comes to kink and fetish toys – they work as a team rather than stand-alone items.
More Education on sex and kink and fetish is needed.
It’s a slow process. We’ve spent the past few decades learning that sex feels good. And should be talking about not only our own pleasure, but our sexual partner’s pleasure as well.
We are unpacking our learning of the idea that sex is for reproduction. By putting sex and the idea of pleasure into the open, we are changing the way that people think and view sex and sexuality. One person at a time.
If you had any questions about Adultsmart Lifestyle Centres or had any further questions about the products that we had on display, please don’t hesitate to drop into our store at Kogarah (Kogarah is wheelchair accessible). Or drop us a line on our online store.
We had a great time at Sexpo and we really hope that you learnt something, as well as had a blast!
What Is Brisbane Sexpo All About?
Brisbane Sexpo had a huge turnout with thousands of people attending.
It’s a big deal in Queensland and many people travel far to come to this amazing carnivale-like event. Sexpo is actually the largest adult show in the world!
With international performers showcasing various aspects of adult entertainment, Sexpo is the perfect place for open-minded adults to have some fun and learn more about adult lifestyles.
Sexpo is not Just About SEX
There are plenty of exhibitors catering to everyone’s needs. Find something fun, unique, or even a new sex toy for your partner or friend!
You never know what you may see at Sexpo from the sublime to the ridiculous, erotic to hypnotic. International pornstars, male and female HOT bodies, hypnotists, comedians. Lingerie parades and world famous amateur strippers are at Sexpo and will be sure to amaze and enthrall.
Sexpo provides all their patrons with the opportunity to mix in a safe environment. A bit of shopping and socialising and world class entertainment are all thrown in for good measure.
You cant find a better way to spend a day and/or night out. Almost certainly going home after such an arousing evening will excite both you and your partner to a sensual home after-party.
Sexpo – Health, Sexuality and Lifestyle Exhibition is the world’s biggest grown-up display. It intended to give a fun and dynamic climate for all grown-ups.
What can I do at Sexpo?
- Shopping
At Sexpo you’ll discover several exhibitors. There’s something for everybody. You may be searching for that fun, distinctive or exceptional present for a companion or adored one.
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Amusement
Excitement is second to none, with universal entertainers, male and female stage acts. Hypnotherapists, comics, underwear parades and the world popular Amateur Strip Competition.
Come along to party in any of a few open bars, including a Ladies Lounge. Get get a Gold Pass and have selective access to the VIP area.
There are many different sexual lifestyles and interests. Sex is a big world. Sexpo would have at any rate given me another vantage to see the sex world.
- Let them know what you need
So many times, I kept quiet about what I really wanted. I didn’t think my guy would actually listen and stick around. But to be honest, that was more about me than them. Nowadays, I’m all about speaking my mind.
Sexpo Final Thoughts
Attending Sexpo was an eye-opener for me. It made me realize that what I thought about sexual experience was limited to what I had seen in porn.
After listening to the real-life experiences of people, I came to know that sex can actually be a lot more humorous and surprising than we imagine.
Meet Stephen, a bold and opinionated cis-gendered gay advocate for gender equality and sexual education. Join him on the Adultsmart blog for fearless insights.
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