Cheating is a destructive event that can happen within any relationship. It is important to be aware that people have different definitions on what cheating means to them. Why Cheat? For example, some people believe flirting is an innocent act whilst other people may feel that it is a sign of much more.
Types of Cheating
There are different types of cheating.
Physical Cheating
When a person within a relationship engages in a sexual activity with another person outside of the relationship. It could include engaging in physical activities like hugging, kissing, foreplay, dry humping, oral sex and penetrative sex.
Emotional Cheating
Can begin harmlessly. It may start off with someone intimately talking about problems within their lifestyle to another person outside of the relationship. These two people can begin to form a strong bond that develops into a sexually charged emotional connection.
Sexting
When two people sexually flirt via the text messaging system on their mobiles, it can include sending nude photos to each other and dirty talking.
Cyber Cheating
Happens when two people develop a passionate relationship online through social networking services. It could include the use of Facebook and dating websites like eharmony. Interactions may at first be flirty but can quickly lead to an intimate development.
How Do You Know If You Are Cheating and Why Cheat?
A good way to know whether you have cheated is to understand whether you would tell your partner about the interaction you had with another person.
Clinical psychologist, Alicia H. Clark stated.
“Secrecy is a good litmus test. If you wouldn’t tell your partner about the interaction, no matter how ‘innocent’ you think it is, you’re having an affair.”
Why Cheat?
Everyone already understands that cheating is wrong, so why do people cheat?
Not committed to the relationship
People are placed in situations where people may flirt with them, which may have never happened to them before. Some people are given the opportunity to cheat. Within that moment they are not afraid of the consequences. Feeling of the chase may be more captivating then maintaining a relationship.
Alicia H. Clark stated.
“Novelty is a big player in attraction, and anonymity offers opportunity. Maybe you meet some guy on a plane, and he flirts with you, flatters you. And gives you something you’re not getting in your primary relationship. If you engage in a way that helps you fill whatever void you have in your primary relationship, you’re entering emotional infidelity territory.”
People use cheating as an excuse to end the relationship
A person or spouse within the relationship may fall out of love. That person looking to leave the relationship may become a cheating wife so the relationship ends.
Relationship needs are not met
People have different needs within their sex life that only their partner can fulfil.
These needs include passion, romance, affection, attention, love, sex and feelings of appreciation. If the needs are not met it can bring on feelings of being taken for granted, loneliness, tension, and neglect. In some cases, they may have asked their partner to try something new to spice their relationship up but the request was ignored.
Feelings of sexual exploration, motivation and curiosity can outweigh a boring sex life which can make two people grow apart. Eventually, a person may begin to find another way to get their needs met.
Couple does not spend time maintaining the relationship
There are a lot of responsibilities that can get in the way of maintaining a personal relationship. Some things include work, cooking, cleaning and children.
Maintaining a relationship is just as important as all of the other responsibilities in our life. People just need to set aside time to spend with each other.
Lack of expression and communication within a relationship
People often forgot to tell each other how much they mean to each other or forget to discuss important aspects of their relationship. Lack of communication can mean there was no way for their relationship to grow.
A need for self-exploration
When two people spend all their time together, things can grow boring. People need personal space to separate themselves from their relationship. Some people look to someone else to help build their own personal identity.
Insecurities
Some people are insecure and feel like their partner will cheat on them or their relationship won’t last. An insecure person cheats first before they get hurt. Because cheating is easier than feeling emotional pain.
A Look Into Ashley Madison’s Hack
Ashley Madison is a website that was created as an online dating service. It socially networks people who are in long term relationships that want to have affairs whilst keeping their identities a secret.
Ashley Madison claims they have over 51,670,000 users from over 45 countries that had joined the website since 2002. Every 20 seconds someone joins their website. Considering there are 7 billion people in the world, these statistics are quite alarming.
Some people who use websites like Ashley Madison are looking for sexual relationships or are trying to find a new way to build emotionally connected relationships. But they do not want to leave their current relationship.
Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy claims that 50% of women and 60% of men in a marriage may cheat on their partner.
Ashley Madison was hacked on the 15th of July in 2015
By a group of people called “The Impact Team” who wanted their website taken down. They did not just hack the companies user accounts, they also gained access to company emails.
Before the details were released publicly, people received threats that if they did not give $300 worth of bitcoin to them, their cheating chronicles would be shared with their family members.
Data released was 9.7 gigabytes in size. It included account details, names, home addresses, mobiles, photos, sexual interests and payment details of all Ashley Madison users. Although some of the information was falsified the user’s payment details displayed their real names. There were also email addresses used from government websites.
Ashley Madison released a Statement on the Hack
“This event is not an act of hacktivism, it is an act of criminality. It is an illegal action against the individual members of AshleyMadison.com. As well as any freethinking people who choose to engage in fully lawful online activities.
Criminal, or criminals, involved in this act have appointed themselves as the moral judge, juror, and executioner, seeing fit to impose a personal notion of virtue on all of society. We will not sit idly by and allow these thieves to force their personal ideology on citizens around the world.”
After the Hack
Details were released countless newspaper articles were written to help people find out whether their partner had cheated. For example, Wired wrote “How to Check if You or a Loved One Were Exposed in the Ashley Madison Hack”.
There were even companies like “Trustify” created dedicated to find out whether your spousae had cheated that used an email address search to find the details. They were used by both the cheaters and people who were looking for information.
Danny Boice from Trustify stated
“Trustify is in the business of finding the truth and we do this in an objective and un-biased way. We don’t intervene in how or why people want the truth or answers, we simply use our investigative pool to provide them.”
In an effort to re-brand themselves Ashley Madison changed their company motto.
“Ashley Madison – Life is short. Have an affair”
to
“Ashley Madison – Find your moment”
They made profit from men that would pay money to send messages for each new person they would talk to. Their live chat was also paid per amount of time a user would stay on it.
A controversy with their payment scheme was that Annalee Newitz from Gizmodo claimed that there were 70,000 bots would interact with people. And only 12,000 out of the 5,500,000 women were regular users. It is said that these statistics appear to have no factual evidence.
But there is a terms of service clause that says that there are non human accounts made on the website that are used purely for amusement purposes only.
After the hack, Ashley Madison removed all of their bots.
Although the people’s intentions were to cheat they were actually suckered out into spending their money.
Another way Ashley Madison had made money from people who used their website was to offer them a $19 fee to permanently delete their profile. And all private information that was collected through the use of the website.
Even if someone has set up a fake account under your name, you still had to pay the $19 fee. Hack had shown all of the users “permanently deleted” accounts were all recalled.
About the Parent Company
Ashley Madison was original ran by a parent company named “Avid Life” which was rebranded as Ruby Life Corp.
They ran a network of dating websites that appeared to be in competition with each other. But they were made to take on all areas of dating real estate online. They had developed many websites for specific kinks, ages, weight, race and genders.
Their most famous website’s include Cougar Life, Established Men and Arrangement Finders. They had spent a lot of time on building up sugar daddy dating websites.
Netflix released a documentary named “Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies and Cyber Attacks” detailing the events of the hack.
Needy women, often misunderstood, defy simple categorization. Their complexities arise from a combination of emotional vulnerability and a desire for connection. These women may seek reassurance and validation from their partners, leading to behaviors that some may perceive as overly dependent. However, beneath the surface lies a deeper need for understanding and support.
Needy Women
I recently had the pleasure of observing a young couple deeply entrenched in the enchanting phase of being “blinded by love.” Their bond was palpable, evident in their constant affectionate gestures and unwavering gaze. They seemed inseparable, oblivious to the world around them as they reveled in each other’s company. It was a joyous sight to behold, witnessing their genuine adoration and the sheer bliss they found in one another’s presence.
As well as being an uplifting start to my morning, I also found it to be such a strong reflection of how I am when I’m in love with someone. I’m that “needy” woman in relationship who loves to have my hands all over her man no matter where we find ourselves.
I am the “too much” woman who gazes into his eyes for almost creepily amounts of time, completely absorbed by the beauty and magnificence that exudes through him. The over the top, obsessive, crazy woman who is so unbelievably in love with the person she gets to spend her life with and I wouldn’t want it to be any different.
Am I a needy woman blinded by love?
So many people hold back in their relationship believing that if they fully showed how much their partner meant to them they would run away. I have heard so many women who speak of not wanting to come across as too much. Not wanting their partner to see how much they really love them.
Fuck that!! If I had to suppress all that I feel for my partner then I’m absolutely sure I’d implode!!
I believe the problem of “too much” women stems from societal and media pressures suppressing natural expression. Messages like “don’t ask for what you want” or “don’t show emotions” perpetuate stereotypes. this can be seen in a movie where a man leaves his emotional partner for someone “cooler.”
Movies and television often shows teach young people that a woman who is emotional is unstable and erratic. Come on people, are we really back in the 1950’s where we’re expected to be obedient housewives who rely on a Valium prescription to supress their natural urges?
Women Expressing themselves Authentically
So many women carry the belief that if they were to express themselves authentically, then they will be un-loveable. They are in relationships where they withhold their truth from the person that they are with for fear of being abandoned or rejected.
My question to these women is: do you really want to be in a relationship where you are constantly holding back your love, affection and authentic expression?
Or would you rather be in a relationship where you can breathe into all that you are, expressing yourself whole heartedly however that looks for you? Afterall, honest communication in a long-term relationship is vital.
You see, a relationship is supposed to be a place for you to share the totality of who you are with another. To think that so many people feel they can’t be their authentic self saddens me. I’ve been there before, holding back from saying I love you, suppressing how much I want to touch the person (Touch is my love language FYI) and it really is so debilitating. There comes a time though when pretending to be any different gets way too exhausting that you decide enough is enough.
No more supressing and no more holding back from being anything other than what you are.
I know it sounds a bit corny but if I know anything it is that the love I feel for my partner is a divine reflection of the love that I am. If I am to suppress my love for him, I am suppressing the parts of me that make me whole and complete, loving and loved. Nothing on this planet compares to loving another human being whole heartedly. Having them love and accept you right back just for being you.
I really encourage those women who believe they cannot express themselves fully in their relationship to really explore the truth behind the beliefs. Because If I know anything it is that a person worth being with wants you to be your most empowered, authentic and truthful self.
Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist
The Struggle For Needy Women To Find True Love
Finding true love often seems like a daunting task for many women. However, it becomes even more challenging for those who exhibit a high degree of neediness. The concept of ‘neediness’ is often associated with an excessive desire for affection, attention, or reassurance. Lets sheds light on why needy women find it difficult to find true love and provides insights into the dynamics of relationships where neediness is a key factor.
The Concept of Neediness
Neediness is generally defined as an excessive desire for love, affection, or reassurance. It often stems from deep-seated insecurities or a lack of self-esteem. When a person is needy, they often seek constant validation from their partner, which can lead to a toxic and unbalanced relationship dynamic.
Understanding the Dynamics of Neediness
Understanding the dynamics of neediness is crucial to comprehend why needy women often struggle to find true love. Neediness often stems from an individual’s insecurities and fears. They may fear being alone, being rejected, or not being ‘enough’ for their partner. These fears often drive them to seek constant reassurance from their partner, leading to an unbalanced relationship dynamic.
The Impact of Neediness in Relationships
Neediness can have a significant impact on relationships. It often leads to clingy behaviour, which can be a major turn-off for many individuals. Needy individuals often require constant attention and reassurance from their partners. This can be exhausting and frustrating. Neediness can create an unhealthy power dynamic in the relationship, where one partner becomes overly dependent on the other.
The Perception of Neediness
The perception of neediness often varies based on cultural and societal norms. In many cultures. Women are expected to be emotionally expressive and seek reassurances from their partners. However, when this emotional expressiveness crosses a certain threshold. It is often perceived as neediness. This societal perception often adds to the challenges faced by needy women in finding true love.
The Role of Childhood Conditioning
Childhood conditioning plays a significant role in shaping an individual’s behaviour in adult relationships. Boys are often taught to suppress their emotions and not show any signs of weakness. Girls are encouraged to express their emotions freely. This conditioning often results in men being less emotionally expressive and women being more emotionally needy in their relationships.
The Impact of Societal Norms
Societal norms and expectations also play a significant role in shaping an individual’s behaviour in relationships. Men are often expected to be emotionally strong and independent. Women are expected to be more emotionally expressive. This societal expectation often leads to women being labelled as ‘needy’ when they express their desires for emotional intimacy and connection.
The Double Standards of Society
Society often holds double standards when it comes to emotional expressiveness in relationships. Women are often labelled as ‘needy’ when they express their emotional needs. Men who express the same needs are often seen as being ’emotionally available’. This double standard often adds to the challenges faced by needy women in finding true love.
The Role of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in managing neediness in relationships. People with high emotional intelligence are often better equipped to handle their emotional needs and communicate them effectively to their partners. They are also more likely to understand and respect their partner’s emotional needs, leading to a more balanced and healthy relationship dynamic.
The Importance of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is a crucial factor that influences an individual’s behaviour in relationships. Individuals with low self-esteem often exhibit high levels of neediness. They constantly seek validation and reassurance from their partners. Women with high self-esteem are often more confident and independent in their relationships, leading to a more balanced relationship dynamic.
Overcoming Neediness
Overcoming neediness often involves working on one’s self-esteem and emotional intelligence. Individuals can work on building their self-esteem through various methods such as therapy, self-help books, and personal development workshops. Developing emotional intelligence can help individuals manage their emotional needs and communicate them effectively to their partners.
Neediness often poses a significant challenge for women in finding true love. It often stems from deep-seated insecurities and fears. This can lead to an unbalanced relationship dynamic. However, with self-awareness and personal development, needy women can work on overcoming their neediness and build healthier relationships.
Meet Rick, Adultsmart’s owner with 35+ years in the adult industry. A sex blogger, advocate for gender and sexuality equality, offering a diverse product range.
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