I was the final one of my companions to loose my virginity. Read on for what is possibly the worst virgin sex story and sadly might be a common one as well!
When I got around to doing the deed in school, they had since quite a while ago advanced past missionary position and onto more intriguing stuff like girl on top which was so daring!
It seemed like such an energizing spot to be. A teen with a sexual coexistence yet tsk-tsk, my secondary school sweetheart (how about we call him Jake), constantly passed when the opportunity came up.
He simply wasn’t prepared and seemed uninterested.
My Worst Virgin Sex Story
So I proceeded to anticipate the minute that I’d at last comprehend what all the fun was about and, preferably encounter a climax. Since all that we’d been doing in my boudoir after my oldies went to sleep simply wasn’t cutting it.
I knew in my heart that sex = climax.
It generally did in the motion pictures, and as indicated by my companions, it generally accomplished for them, as well.
Essentially, it was an assurance.
After Secondary School
Jake and I attended different universities in our state of Texas. The separation between us was a difficult two-hour drive. Made considerably more deplorable by the way that not one or the other one of us had an auto.
Anyway we chose to make it work. Realizing that occasionally we’d be able to hitch a ride with companions to one another’s campuses. So we moved ahead to take off each others clothes.
Jake battled with my bra, as he generally did, and I imagined not to be irritated, as I generally might have been.
Like he always did, he set his hand on my left bosom and started to crush it as though it was an anxiety ball, totally dismissing my aureola.
It was around a month into the school year when Jake began discussing sex.
A considerable measure. He let me know that he was prepared and that whenever we were as one we were at last going to do it.
My introductory thought after listening to this was,“Thank fucking God. Finally, kid.”
I Had an Itch and Needed Him to Scratch It
It wasn’t that I was influencing him in any capacity. But I simply had a tingle that I expected to be scratched. Also I needed him to scratch it.
We were excited to catch a ride with a friend for Jake’s birthday weekend, which we hoped would be a life-changing experience for me. I was thrilled at the prospect of finally shedding my virginity and exploring my sexuality.
But the journey was rough because of storms which made me fear for my life. I mean, here I was, on my way to a pivotal moment, and I was at risk of dying a virgin.
We finally made it to Jake’s place
As soon as we stepped in, the whole room was filled with a strong smell of patchouli. It turned out that his roommate was one of those hipsters who liked to cover up his lack of showering.
Jake told us that he even poured half a bottle of it on his sheets! The room was a mess with bunk beds and all.
To set the mood, Jake lit some funky round purple candles and we chatted for a bit about the drive over.
I confessed to him that I was not only afraid of dying a virgin.
But also of dying while listening to Little River Band because that’s what Jared was into at the time. It would be a truly horrifying death that would haunt me even in the afterlife.
Jake totally agreed.
I then pulled out his birthday present, a collection of Doors records that I promised to get him. He immediately put them on and we continued our casual conversation.
He came and sat beside me on the couch, and we both fiddled around for a while.
I started to feel that maybe we had talked about it too much. And now there was something hovering around, besides the strong smell of patchouli.
At one point, he said, “My roommate will be back soon, so, you know…”
I understood that it was time to get this party started.
Jake left a note on the door for his roommate to knock before coming in, and we began to make out.
Jake battled with my bra again!
I imagined not to be irritated, as I generally might have been. As usual he put his hand on my left breast and started to press it as though it was an nerve ball, totally squeezing my areola.
We avoided the various things we generally did — the hand job,the fingering, the part where I give him oral for 30 seconds and pretend to like it.
We Went Straight to the Sex
I was on the pill, yet for additional security, we put on a condom.
My heart was beating. This was it!
He slipped it in and lasted just a minute! After this time it would be better, I was certain of it. Like, perhaps I’d have more shade in my cheeks and his spunk gone would increase his sexual stamina!
You know, a new me!
Right now he entered me for his record second time and the same tune rehashed itself again and again, One minute – 90 seconds.
I think his record was three minutes.
This couldn’t be going on my night of loosing my virginity!
“Why is it doing that?” I asked. Anyhow he was excessively centered around his current movement. “Jake!” I everything except shouted, “Why are you cumming so quick?! What’s going on?”
He stopped looked at me amused. “I don’t know perhaps if we put another record on it will be better. I keep thinking my roommate will come in’.
With that he put on The Smiths.
Goodness. My. Fucking. God.
I was losing my virginity to one of the most exceedingly terrible tunes to be a hit in the ’90s.
In the event that there was a God, I thought, he was a savage God with a sick feeling of humor. I attempted to bring my consideration again to the sex. It didn’t hurt but it was uncomfortable. A throbbing weight kind of feeling.
As he pushed into me, I imagined his penis tunneling into my internal parts, as the divider of my vagina attempted to push him out in the same way as they were battling.
Intrusive Thoughts
I pondered precisely how close the tip of his penis was to my stomach. And I ended up appreciative that I hadn’t quite recently consumed anything to eat.
When he asked me how I was doing, I gave a grin and a few groans. And truly let the bafflement set in.
THIS IS IT?
I gazed at the springs of the bunk overhead and thought, “What a fucking disappointment this is.” Couldn’t comprehend, for the life of me, how it was that all my companions were so gung-ho on this sex thing. When it is obviously not a big deal.
Possibly Doggie Style would be better?
“You’re dying,” Jake said. I looked down and recognized the blood that had shown from my broken hymen with a shrug. Everything about this merited a shrug.
At the point when Jake at last came for a final time, I had no interest. There was quiet on his end. So when he hauled his penis out and moved over I needed to ask, “Is it over?”
With That it Was Over
It was over so we put on our garments to take off to a music venue, and that was that. What an exaggerated sack of crap.
I kept on attempting to appreciate having intercourse for the span of our relationship. But it still wasn’t doing anything for me. I told my companions I adored it (big fat lie). And was eager to at last have the ability to tell my sex stories to them.
Anyway where it counts I was concealing a dim mystery:
I thought sex was a bust. A. Absolute. Fucking. Bust.
It wasn’t until several years after the fact that I at last began to appreciate sex.
By then, I had met Timothy, my genuine first love. And was likewise at long last in contact with what I needed and expected to be sexually fulfilled. I had a great deal of growing up to do to come to the heart of the matter where sex was pleasant for me.
Practice Makes Perfect
It took a great deal of practice with a couple of distinctive men (and myself), yet I at last got there. I can say that as time has gone on, its shown signs of improvement
.So in case you’re right now having crappy school sex, know this Your sexual experiences improves.
The first occasion when you have intercourse should be incredible, it will be peculiar, and ungainly. And not all that fun, because almost everything is that way when you first attempt it out.
Don’t Go in With High Standards
If you go into it with high standards, as I did, you will be extremely frustrated. You’re going to find yourself counting cracks in the ceiling, thinking about what’s for supper. And truly addressing whether you ever need to do it again.
It may take a while to get there. But when you do the work to make sense of what you like, it will be worth the trouble.
I guarantee that it gets better after you loose your virginity.
My Celibacy Journey
I am coming up to 9 weeks of my celibacy journey and felt it was about time I shared another update on how the experience has been for me. I have been experiencing so much emotionally within this journey and with so much happening, it is often difficult to put into words. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster thus far and I expect when it is over and I begin integrating the lessons learnt, it will continue to be a turbulent ride.
Continued from part 2: 3 Incredible People Who Overcame Their Sexual Struggles
A Quick Recap On My Celibacy Journey
To recap what my journey has consisted of in the case you didn’t read my previous article, I have gone 9 weeks without penetrative sex and 7 weeks without oral sex, masturbation/mutual masturbation or any kind of genital to genital contact. All this whilst being in a loving and passionate relationship. Prior to this, I can’t recall a time since I discovered my sexuality where I went more than a week without masturbation or sex. 3 more weeks of this and I am finished!
One of the biggest lessons I have received from this experience is that sexuality and sexual energy is not something to take for granted. When we’re in the midst of playing out our unhealthy attachments to sex, we are often blindsided to the fact that sexuality is sacred.
We Often Miss Out On What Makes Sex Special
Every sensation, each ripple of pleasure through our bodies, every stroke and every thrust is a divine gift. In a typical hard and fast approach to sex, we miss out on all the tiny little parts of it that make up the whole experience. We are not fully present to the whole experience therefore we cannot receive and feel it all completely. I have really felt a strong desire to bring greater respect, presence and honouring of my sexuality to my experiences with myself and others.
Reclaiming my Virgin has been a big lesson from this experience
Sounds a bit strange right? Let me explain…I had this incredibly bizarre moment last week of not being able to recall what it is like to have an orgasm or to have intercourse. There was something almost magical about this. I told my partner that I feel like a virgin again and it turns out there was a lot in this once I unpacked it.
We have come to understand Virgin to mean a woman or man who has not had penetrative sexual intercourse however the word took on a different meaning once upon a time. Virgin used to be a word to describe a free, untied and independent woman – A woman whose sexuality was her own. Over time, we have connected Virgin to purity and absence of penetrative sex. We often lose our connection to being a virgin once we have sex however I feel this archetypal energy can be accessed regardless of the presence of a hymen.
Do You Still Remember Your First Time?
Do you remember your first orgasm? That first experience of exquisite bliss that compares to nothing else you’ve ever experienced? How can we come back to the place of experiencing sensuality and sexuality as if it was our first time? How can we claim our sovereignty as an independent and complete person whose sexuality is not anyone else’s but ours? This to me is what reclaiming our Virgin is all about.
Another great lesson I have learnt throughout this journey has been the importance of having a connection on different levels with our intimate partners. As sex has been off the cards with my partner, it has made me look at all the other ways we can feel intimate and connected with each other. This has meant making time for massage and sensual touch which is so important regardless of having sex with each other.
Intimacy Means So Much More Than Intercourse
It has also meant lots of platonic play and fun, many deep intellectual conversations and also a great deal of time on our own to process the emotions and feelings this journey is bringing up for us both. Sex is SO important for us but it is not the only thing necessary in an intimate relationship.
Sex Is Great But It Should Not Define You
Finally and most importantly, I have experienced a sense of who I am without being an outwardly sexual being. There is no avoiding the fact that I love sex and enjoy sexual pleasure in my life however I know that this does not make up all of who I am.
Working as sexologist (and in the sex industry in any capacity) there feels enormous pressure to have it all together “sexually speaking”. I have felt the perceived expectations to be having great sex all the time otherwise I have felt like a bit of a fraud. This journey has really highlighted the fact that our sexuality is an evolving and naturally fluctuating aspect of ourselves.
Highs And Lows In Your Sex Life Is Completely Normal
There will be peaks of orgasmic bliss accompanied with bouts of low desire and sexual satisfaction. There will be times where we may be called to be celibate and other times where being sexually intimate with multiple people may be serving us best. These fluctuations are completely normal and need to be supported!!
This journey has been incredible in so many ways and I am excited to see what continues to unfold from here. Stay tuned…
10 FAQ Regarding Celibacy
- What are some common struggles people face during celibacy?
Loneliness, temptation, and societal pressure can be challenging, but they often lead to personal growth and self-discovery. - How can I stay committed to my celibacy journey?
Set clear intentions, stay focused on your reasons, and seek support from like-minded individuals or communities. - Is it normal to feel frustrated or anxious during celibacy?
Yes, it’s common. Learning to channel sexual energy into personal development can help manage these feelings. - Does celibacy affect mental health?
It can, positively or negatively. Some feel empowered and focused, while others may struggle with isolation or self-doubt. - How can I handle social pressure around celibacy?
Be confident in your choice, and remember it’s a personal journey. Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your decision. - Can celibacy lead to personal growth?
Yes, many experience increased self-awareness, emotional clarity, and a stronger sense of purpose during celibacy. - How does celibacy impact romantic relationships?
It can strengthen emotional bonds, as partners focus on communication and emotional intimacy rather than physical connection. - Is celibacy the same as abstinence?
No, celibacy is often a long-term choice or spiritual practice, while abstinence is usually temporary or situational. - What are some benefits of being celibate?
Improved focus, emotional clarity, personal growth, and stronger non-sexual relationships are common benefits. - How can I cope with sexual desire during celibacy?
Practice mindfulness, engage in creative outlets, and focus on activities that bring fulfillment outside of physical intimacy.
Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist
